feeling lonely?feeling depressed? got no one to talk with about ur shitty life.

tunggu semua orang takde, or go behind locked door yg ade cermin, dalam toilet pon xpe, hadap cermin tuh dan cakap semuanya kat cermin tuh...at least reflection diri korang akan dengar segalanya, siap nangis sekali kalau u'all menangis. tho, ini sebenarnya tanda2 anda memerlukan pakar sakit jiwa.

on further note, being a misfit sucks so much

and i really miss the time i do my growing up dekat maahad dulu. at least i get real social life.now? even the net pon x leyh do much.

fuck my life

rambling

lol, to wake up around 3.30 am every day for three weeks is annoying yo

still am a noob for almost everything yo~~ coloring, writing,baking,drawing,being a proper human = loser forever. yesh!!

thick-skinned is so not on lately -blaming the inferiority complex- there goes the confidence :whoosh:

two months and counting being drowned in BBC's Merlin fandom : tied in, with rocks and all and plop into the fandom figurative ocean: fanfics, spoiler, behind the scenes, interview, bloopers...even if someone manage to hauled me up, CPR might not be necessary..gone forever it seems

feeling guilty I'm forgetting other fandom? not really...they make me up and shape me like this..though it seems like I'm climbing some sort of invincible stairs, first it's sasunaru, then some other manga characters pairing, jumping into the mainstream yaoi, after that, hello potterverse, some drarry fic for me, oh, and i'll never gonna put aside albus/scorp, now, it's a series. preferably arthur/merlin, though seriously i'm not picky..lol, got to taste my first RPF here.lololo, so grateful of fic rec <3

social network make me feel worthless and useless and generally like an attention whore, shameless shameless attention whore who post inane stuff bout what I only noe, with no one really to share..blame me in being excited for whatever Colin did, or fic that I read, I get off on that. the small guilty pleasure? Nad who is never tired of my incessant rambling, and being a human that I can touch. and hear, and make eye contact to vent it all out (n I think this is a vice versa thing, she need to vent off too) and not some disembodiment for people who is out there doing god, i dunno. me to blame, of course, being the busy (query note here) peeps. apparently i didnt fill up my social quota nicely, the bar become red..send me some social bunny, sims creator.

dear someone, i hope your bout of relapse gone quickly..i'm praying for you
and dear someone, sorry for not following up after what happen.I'm gonna call ya after I have enough credit..I'm still in my strict budget=starvation phase
and dear someone other, I'm sorry for being such a noob that I dont really noe how to use that site to keep up and throw in some shite from the sixth pharagraph for other reasons that bear no repeating.lol.be happy, wherever you are <3<3<3

dear bloggie, i <3 you.

:rambling ftw:

:ish forever alone, in every sense of speaking, no thanks to self:

takde maknenye

kalau cuba nak perang f5 kat facebook.tambah laie kalau line sentap macam sial kan..aku kejap isi nama dah on ade, pastuh ilang tetiba ganti ngan nama orang lain...cibai sungguh tenet tuh..

sebab aku taw aku antara orang yg isik awal, ko nak kata nama orang lain kat finalize doc tuh cakaplah, xkan r nama aku yg tetiba ada patuh hilang pastuh tetiba tempat tuh da penuh aku nak tambah no 13 kan? aku bukan sesedap kepala lutut aku r nak bising, aku taw group atif n adie lambat sikit kowt enter dari aku, lepas nama jaja, dah establish nama aku, kat half pc orang lain ade, kat half yg lain xde, nak kata aku salah,\? group atif ngan hadi salah? salahkan tenet, bukan salah kami semua.lantak korang nak gaduh cam kimak kat situ kan..

aku nye alasan nak gi kajang senang je, aku nak duduk umah, xde pon aku tumpang umah paman buang kat saujana utama..weyh, x semua orang cam korang, kentut kuar dwet..aku nieyh mak pak x kerja, adek aku ntah lari gi pondok mana pastuh sesuka hati kan x bagitau aku, adek pompuan aku kene hulur dwet elaun die nak bagi aku makan...celah mana nak korek dwet nak bayar sewa umah..ingat sesenang hati ke aku nak mintak dwet ngan bapak aku?hari ni mintak esok dapat...korang dapat PT full, elaun JPA pon komplain cam pukimak..weyh, ader orang dapat separuh je PT taw..korang x taw seksa nak nahan dwet yg separuh tuh camne..ko pikir aku nieyh kurus, kurus sesaje? kurus aku bersebab sial...aku dah tak terkira berapa banyak kali aku kene berlapar sebab aku xde dwet nak makan nasi..orang kat umah pon makan nasi goreng je straight seminggu, aku nak makan nasik leuk sesedap? aku ada isi perut lagi lah..

korang nak kata aku bangang ke, bebal ke, pantat ke, cakap r...aku x sanggup nak cakap ngan mak aku yg aku kene posting ntah dekat mana, pastuh nak kene carik dwet sewa advance pulak ntok umah sewa kawasan umah tu. adek2 aku tuh sekolah pon hutang yuran..sekolah rendah lak tuh..kalau alasan korang nak posting situ memang semata nak carik experience yang power, kimak r korang..kalau dah bebal, camne power tempat tuh pon bebal jugak ko.kan? lantak r, aku entittle nak broke down, kata r aku bodoh sebab nangis x dapat enter nama, lain orang lain konflik..korang x taw jangan nak banyak bukak mulut..aku sumpah rasa cam kimak bila tengok nama faresa kat situ...hoi anjing, jangan ingat aku lupa muka ko tyme tuh ye...ko dah r pakai orang tengah memula bagitaw yg kita kene berusaha ke sungai buloh, pastuh bile sg buloh dah penuh n aku ngan pauline lari ampang, ko bwat muke cam babi bakar kat situ...kenapa ko tukar hospital pulak? alasan hapa ko nak bagi? carut r perangai ko, kalau aku nak maki ko, aku kene maki pakai mulut, baru puas...perangai cam celaka..klu nak tepon balak ade je dwet, nak mesej aku suruh gi spital mana tetiba jadik muflis...kalau aku 10 hinggit boleh tahan 3 minggu, aku mmg ketawa tengok manusia kene topup 30 hengget tetiap minggu

dah r, carut betol semua ni

because I am a hopeless romantic (and not so subtle fic rec)

or I quote "woo~h, gile Awie dalam sembilu, jiwang siot aku" ( not like I watch the bloody movie :shrug:)

I am all for med fic. Have I ever tell you guys that? oh well, I'm telling you now. And I'm like drowning in Merlin fandom right now that I spent almost all my waking hours reading Merlin fanfics, and I'm not going to start on exactly how many good one are out there, begging me to read it (thank god for people who did enormous recs, coz they are saviours). And I just need to vent this somewhere, and FB is not an option, and no one want to hear me rant on Merlin fandom anywhere (usually Nadz will be my victim to rant on all good things. she's considerate enough to let me blow my steam off), so here I am, blogging this out (since no one really read what I put up here) ranting on my (current) OTP

there's this fic, fandom: Merlin, pairing: Arthur/Merlin. Med AU (though the med part isn't exactly been emphasized on much). Here we got Arthur as the doctor in ED (timeline between when he's an intern up to residency) and Merlin is an ICU nurse. Am not going to put blatant spoiler here, just stating a few facts why I just love this one. One is that, I can quite relate to them working in a hospital setting, what with Merlin working at ICU, and since I'm currently taking ICU course, I kinda get it. being busy almost all the time and have little time to spare with your social life. ED is quite a harsh setting, you got to be quick and all that, and like Arthur have once reasoned out, being in public hospital is honest, where you got honest cases coming in and when you're in ED, you got to witness a lot of thing. to tell you the truth, the nastiest thing I ever saw is this wound that this patient have falling from his bike, I think a large portion of his thigh is not there..really nasty.ha ha.

this fic is a story that have all those fairytale moment yet felt so real, dealing with work that left you with little time to spend together, the insecurities of admitting to yourself who you really are, what people think of you, what your family thinks of you or just keeping those who is important close to you. all those insecurities are there and almost real, and you watch how they (well, mostly Arthur, really) took all those baby steps of learning who you really are, admitting to everyone who he really is and showing them who is the one that matter, arguing, fighting and compromise, supporting each other along the side, getting the skeleton out from where they buried them. this fic is just gorgeous. the author write so that readers are in some kinda limbo, there will be the time that you are in the present, and then swept back to the time why things in present matter to them.

I have many favourite moments there. and I can't list them all. the supporting character are also solid, there are there, but just really supporting. this is totally the fic about them both...

okay, enough with the fic. Have I relished the fact that I cried watching the last few minutes of Merlin s4e9?
oh, Merlin crying look so tragic that I cannot help but shed my own tears. ok, spoiler. I don't really care at this point, Morgana being sore that Arthur is going to make Gwen his queen (oh, Morgana, you're not the only, I assure you. I'm with you in this one) and she use necromancy to call Lancelot from the dead, sending him to trick Arthur and all that. okay, I'm just going to view in Merlin side, coz I don't care much about canon pairing. Merlin is glad that Lance is back, but God know, he's the curious sort, and he know something is not right, and Lance outed himself when he hinted that he didn't know that Merlin have magic. and Merlin did some magic test or something, and found out that yes, Lance is truly dead, and the one prancing around seducing Guinevere is just a walking corpse and he was really sad about this. The most tragic scene is the last scene where he watch Lancelot died once again (he killed himself in prison as Morgana ordered, a loyal puppet to the end, truly not his fault) and when Arthur ask for him to be given a proper burial, Merlin is the one who did it. It just like Freya scene all over, though with lot more flowers and all, and Merlin did some small necromancy in his part, waking him a few seconds from death in which Lance called Merlin's name and say thank you. oh, and after he burned the corpse, just like he did Freya, he cried. a lot. and Merlin's crying face is so heart-wrenching that you are roped in and cry along. He have the right to do so, Lance is another friend that know he's magic. Will had died. Freya also died. and now, it's Lancelot. currently he just have Gaius to help him all along. it must be lonely to be him, with everyone single person that he indulged his secret in died.

annnnnnnnnddd I'm ranting too much.

here's the fic, Shelter by Kelly on LJ. 7 parts
http://this-is-kelly.livejournal.com/346629.html#cutid1

++chepazana++

++You just have to bear with me ranting on Merlin till it finally ends.ha ha++

whinging

I miss the feeling of having a crush on someone, or someone to fancy....

y ish there no ppl for me to adore n make me go thumpthumpthump??guh

i dun noe anymore....:facepalm:









I refuse to put my sig this time.

footie SEA

I don't watch footie much, coz I'm not really interested in it.. the only thing I noe bout footie is that u hav a ball, and all player chase it and try to make a goal as much as possible. shoot me for that, but I think that's enough about footie for me to noe.

tho against my principle, I did watch the SEA footie game between Malaysia and Indonesia.. this is like one of the most hyped up game. It just, when u put both countries in a game, u really have to watch. It's like a principle that every malaysian have (and I believe, the Indonesian have). That night, two of our classmate from the block in front of us joined us, with two pots of tea and a tupperaware full of moist choco cake, we are pretty much in sugar-high and yell a lot throughout the game...hahaha. glad that we score a point there.

i dunno if i want to watch nother match tho.hahaha

++chepazana++

++i want to much on cookies++

edit 22/11/11

WE WON!!!!!

we jumped, we scream, we are basically overjoyed!!!!!!!! with two big pots of tea, cucur udang, biscuits and banana cake, we are overwhelmed..the game is tense, and so do us...hahaha. this is like the first game that I watch right from the start, and stick to it until penalty kick...am enjoyed doing this with housemate+frontblockclassmate... the lovely thing bout watching footie wif ur girl friends is that u can keep commenting on the player's figure rather than the game itself without being reprimanded..we keep mentioning how this player *coughmuslimandapekcough* have this nice arse, and oh god, no.28's Yong pose before he enter the field, he had us screaming like pure fangirls..utterly gorgeous pose there, right dash of sexiness. can't believe people that are so young can do great thing...oh, and Muslim during the penalty kick, adorable :squee:

tho we cant say much about the indonesian player that erm...injured his reproductive organ..he keep touching his dick without being aware that he is the camera focus.tho am sorry that he injured such vital organ..haha. we can't help but notice that Bonai hav a weird ritual whenever corner kick is concerned...hav to say that both Indo and Malaysia have good keepers..

a tense and good game, from both country..hope that there will be no sore-loser-act that come up after this..cheers

craving

i always crave for something.

and right now, i crave for a chocolate..the one that priced moar than RM2...I rarely bought the one that priced moar than RM5, u noe, like cadburry's big one..bcoz i things that is an impossible price to pay..but right now, I really wish i have it in the fridge...

I WANT THAT..

++chepazana++

++a cheapskate, no matter how u look at it++

updating for the sake of it.hah

I baked more in a week than I ever in life.
scouring net for recipe, and did it just for the hell of it.
should call this with something like getting-in-touch-with-your-feminine-site
let see, triffle pudding, choco pudding, choco cake..am seriously attempting to finish up Ibu's cocoa powder.
lol, hapakah.

will attempt on choco chip cookies later.for snacks to brought back to puncak alam

++chepazana++

++yes, a short post.ha ha++

bromance

BROMANCE
definition: a close but non-sexual relationship between two (or more) men, a form of homosocial intimacy.

1. Make a sentence using the word bromance.
-Arthur and Merlin have the best bromance ever,umm, in a tv show?

2.give reason(s) for your answer in (1).
-because they are!! I just took sample from season 4 episode 5:his father's son

15:26
M: off again?
     another week in the wilderness?
     eating weird animals, being eaten by weird animals,
     no hot water, no baths
    This would be the last time either of us get to sleep in a proper bed
A:  Merlin, I'm prepared to face all manner of horrors in this world but if you think I'm sharing a bed with you
M: (laugh) what? that's not what I meant.
A: right, good, comfort to know

 this is what i call teasing (Colin, why so cute~)

30:52 (before Arthur took off to his fight)

M: Arthur, do you really think this is worth the risk? You're king now.

     Camelot needs YOU....alive.

A: I don't know what'll happen...

     but for the first time since I became king, I know in my heart I've made the right decision.

M: well, whatever happens out there, um...

A : you're not about to start crying on me, are you?

M: (chuckle) no. just.... good luck.

A: thank you, old friend

-shake hands, intense eye-staring, interrupting-old-fart a.k.a Aggravaine enter-

I spy; two men shake (lol,it looks like holding) hands till me, Aggravaine come in. which is too long for a proper handshake.ha ha

I really wish I have the will to put Arthur's kicked-puppy face when all his knight come and pledge loyalty to him (I miss Lancelot, T-T). I especially like this one. I called it super-cocky-face-to-shut-you-up. am not satisfied with the recipient of that look.

crooked nose? who care. I'm offering you the jaw view. see~~

hahaha. this is pathetic. I am aware that people recognized this show as one of the show that have strong bromance. I can't help it...and I'm the type of person who took all underlying action as something. staring into each other eyes to speak, I squeal. Calling names, I squeal. ridiculous scene, I squeal..I am your typical fangirl.

and it is not helping when you are currently reading this fandom fanfic.lol

i'm out.ntah hapa-hapa

++chepazana++

++can't wait for next week's episode.mcm best kan++

(edit on 1 nov 2011, 2345 hour)

another reason for why it have the best bromance. because bradley said it so..no hesitation.enjoyz, slash writers..


this is such an old clip.god.

confession time 2

1. bila saya naik kereta, saya jarang tidor.sebab saya akan pandang ke luar dan berangan sepanjang masa.tabiat dari kecik.tuh pasal saya senyap dalam kereta.kecuali klu saya naik kereta ngan adek2 saya.kami bising nak mampos.
2. once, someone pernah tanya "have you ever feel like you wanna kiss a girl?" randomly dekat a few ppl. I nod.
3. i dont think hari raya is a festive now. i hardly feel the aster whenever it comes around. in fact, i dread it.
4. saya pernah makan tembakau waktu kecik2.apparently, sy muntahkan balik..highlighted by my mom.sebab saya pon x ingat pasal nie.tuh pasal saya selalu high.kecik2 telan nikotin..x main r takat sedut.hahaha
5. saya ada kompleks dengan lukisan saya. saya x pernah rasa ianya cukup bagus.ianya x pernah bagus.ntah bile saya nak bagus, saya pon x taw.
6. time saya 12 tahun, saya sangat lanky. penekanan ayat, SANGAT..saya rasa kelakar tengok struktur badan saya ketika itu. macam playwood bergerak.
7. no, saya x bley nampak entiti dunia asing. tapi mostly orang di keliling saya pasti ada yg boleh.
8. the reason i grew apart dengan my childhood fren is ncoz she grew up too fast and i am childish. still are, now.hehe
9. saya beli barang kaler oren sebab papa. percayalah.
10. saya jeles bila combi dapat kereta kaler kuning, yg boleh isi barang kat tempat duduk ye, pastu ade hon, and gagang telepon. itu mainan mahal. mana aci combi je dapat.hohoho.padan muke kene buli

++chepazana++

++tu jelah dulu.hehe++

sometimes i wonder

do we really need to have boy problems just to connect? i mean generally, with girls.

sometimes, even i don't get woman after all. must u assume dat everyone have some boys-related story to talk with? obviously, if u got no boys story at all, u r d lamest person in the world. u will be as out of the loop as possible while we talk secret-code-womanly-stuff-bout-boys-dat-we-noe-or-friended-or-have-or-plain-ex.

it become worser if not only dat u dont have a boy, or a crush, or a scandal, you also got no male friend.as in friend that keep in touch with you like friends does.u'll be seen as socially-ineptitude, and borishly stupid, and a no fun.

fuck this. i feel stupid.

stoooooopid

++chepazana++

++it's a lonely world out there++

confession time

Ok, confessing right away

1.I don't know much about cooking but I am very interested in craft.specifically crocheting and knitting
2. I still didn't get my scarf done, though it's been 3 weeks now (I'm lazy yo~)
3. I am VERY interested in making amigurumi right now.at least it's easier to make, have the chance of money-making product aannndd it's cute as hell. (I might consider spending money at Daiso again for felt fabric, crochet stuff and yarn)
4.Currently flailing my fangirl-self for BBC's Merlin. I stay up late, checking London's timezone, waiting links to be put up, practically squeal everytime Merlin and Arthur interact, rolling over my bed everytime Merlin smile, or do ridiculous joke, or just being Merlin.guh
5.I like Morgana, and her actress Katie. Morgana have fabulous sense of fashion, her gown, her hair, her everything. a dark sense to her presence, yet Katie like to tease, laugh and make jokes all around.
6.I still sleep with the light on at home. And here at Puncak Alam, I tweak the light of my lappie to its fullest and put it on my bedside table when I went to sleep (we switch off light here)
7. I'll pull my curtain over until I can't see the window, at night.
8.I refuse to sleep with a mirror near my vicinity. if there is one, it's for the best that I can't see my reflection or any kind of reflection there.
9.Am basking myself in ArthurxMerlin (or the other way around, don't care much at this point) fanfics.and very happy to have a long list of fic recommendation
10.Yes, I did scream a little during al-Hijab. it's more like a horrible chocked ahh that come out after you are laughing till u got tears and suddenly get shocked .am horribly embarassed with it.

ten for now, and more for later.

++chepazana++

++I don't curse much right now yeah++

p/s: confession no 11: I still didn't finish up my bloody assignment, all of it.fuck it.and ICU test next weak.and fyp proposal to hand in.and two presentations.self, go die.soul departed to hell already.night biatche

jangan bagi Pierre Andre bwat filem lagi dah

I quote something that my friends heard at cinema:

"Lepas nieyh jangan bagi Pierre Andre buat cerita laie dah"

I practically regressed to 5 years old watching Al-Hijab~hiding under my shawl almost all the time the ghost made appearance (which is like at least half of the movie?) okay, to justify this, I actually open my eyes, but the shawl covered half my view, so..ummm, yeah, I watched it.

Movie review by me:

Pierre Andre sekali lagi membuktikan kredibiliti beliau sebagai pengarah filem bengenre seram. walaupon plotnye ntah hape-hape dan x brape nak masok akal, Andre  berjaya menebusnya dengan membuatkan setiap adengan seram filem itu meyakinkan~ kamon, pompuan tu dan Andre agak kayu bila berlakon jadi couple, Andre macam pasang sugar daddy, since pa gf dye belikan die macam2 (Audi pon?) beberapa adengan yg x perlu diulang, diulang juga. Kudo diberikan untuk lakon layar babak horror. dye x perlu bwat CG  gempak, cukup sekadar merealisasikan segala cerita yang kita pernah dengar atau baca. kesan audio yang menjadi, hantu2 style pop up jenis yg ko jumpa kat tenet. so yeah. saya rasa orang plg x kayu adalah bell ngasri and the gang, saya gelak sambil terkejut n terjerit sekali.maaf, saya terperanjat. kawan housemate saya kata hantu2 kat situ buruk sangat. housemate saya yg hijabnye agak terbuka memberi komen bahawa entiti yg die jumpa pon x seburuk itu.saya hanya mampu gelak tawar pada statement itu. kesimpulannya, cerita ini fail dari segi film berplot fantastik tapi berkredibiliti sebagai filem seram bwat takut2 orang. 

saya masih tidak berpuas hati kenapa siang lambat sangat muncul dalam cerita tuh.

sekian, wassalam.

++chepazana++

++baca smut nak erase trauma.haha++

Getting sick

It's like 2 or 3 years since last I got sick~lol, I dunno. I rarely got sick, but yesterday I cant get up from my bed. Felt like having a big hangover~keep throwing up~I even sleep at 10 o'clock.hahaha.

Mom scold me for not taking meds.I hate meds. I rather keep my liver relaxed and all that. I love my liver~no need to extra works bcoz of meds though i did take one tab of PCM at 9 o'clock .  Now I have to wait for another 2 or 3 years to get sick again ( unless I get another case of food poisoning in near future).

currently reading as much arthurxmerlin fanfics that I can find. I've been meaning to read fanfics from this fandom for quite sometimes~found a list of good recs, hell yeah. at least I got new reading stuff. lol, keep lurking on this fandom like forever~go to utube and find stuff about them.haha. Merlin season 4 just make me deliriously happy.  Arthur is still the biggest prat ever, and Merlin is just damn adorable~ the off-screen Merlin cast is damn adorable too. Katie is one hella fun, Bradley is an adorable attention whore, and Colin is the one who didn't talk much ( his accent is too thick, I can't even gather what he's talking about. Irish, like that explain much).

read this one fic, in which arthur is a fic writer on lj, and merlin beta-ing for him.total epic!!! i squeal so much reading the last line~hell yeah. though they write fics for starz's camelot~( dunno much bout this show.haha).

dude, hapakebenda yang i merapu nieyh. sorry, still dizzy lagi. my headache refuse to ebb away~haha

++chepazana++

++lotsa fic to read, lotsa stuff to do++

mak na berkata-kata

meh kita mengumpat jap~hahaha.mak nieyh susah sikit nak tangkap isu2 semasa dalam colleague mak, tapi kalau dah tangkap seghonoklah mak~hahaha. tapi mak bukan nak mengumpat pasal si polan dengan si polan, mak cuma nak mengata je.

ingat ye, mengumpat ngan mengata tu lain ye nyah. x sama. ejaan pon dah lain, apatah lagi kalau bukak thesaurus edisi bahasa melayu~memang x jumpa gitu.

alkisah, hari nieyh mak memang dalam mood nak melancangkan mulut. mulut mak memang jenis lepas gitu, tapi sebab mak nieyh jenis hidup dalam ,bak kata omputih, bubble sindri, so mak nye lepas tuh x sebanyak tyme mak muda2 dulu. Alkisah, mak punya tempat belajar hari ni ade prezentesyen (aih, mak terasa cam ucopwilcha jap).nak kata hari2 mak ade prezentesyen. mak duduk belakang budak nieyh. mak besa-besa je dengan budak nieyh.yelah, x sama kutu, x sekufu.takat hai2 bye2 bolehlah.mak mana nak sama taraf dengan dye. mana nak layak nyah oii, dye anak ikan ramai, mak satu ikan pon xde kat jala.haha

mula-mula lagi mak nye telinga berbulu~yelah, dye dekat sebelah sini, dijerit tanya orang sebelah sana.."yuuuhuu, apa u pegang tuh??" macam semua orang nak dengar dye announce tanya orang~eih nyah, walaupon mak nieyh sumbat tisu dalam bra,pakai spenda ketat2, mak pon taw adab lagi taw nyah..kalau jauh, mak pegi datang dekat.kalau x leyh datang dekat, mak tunggu kejap lagi..bukan laghi pon manusia tuh..
kot mak cakap dengan muka poker face "perlukah nak jerit panggil~" o yeah. mak x taw die dengar ke x~mak pakai nada bass tyne tu ye nyah

pastuh tyme prezentesyen, minah present tuh budak baik ye nyah, pakai tudung, pakai stoking semua, ala jenis2 yang nyah nampak besa pegi sekolah agama. orang tanya die, pe dapat kalau u pandai bwat doodle, dia bagitau kawan die buat komisyen untuk doodle, tapi die gune 'he' ye nak refer kawan dye tuh. huih, pastuh mak dengar pompuan depan mak cakap ngan orang sebelah die "he?he??" gaya orang lain pekak gitu nak ulang banyak kali.ye, ada unsur2 sinis gitu.mak tengok gaya dye macam x caye pompuan camtu bley ade kawan laki.haish, naik meluat lah mak.

bukan mak sesaje nak naik meluat nyah.tapi semua orang taw dye jenis pompuan macam mana. mak panggil pompuan macam die jenis pompuan loose. pantang nampak jantan, terus basah bawah. jenis orang macam kene tabur miang buluh. mak dengar crite die dah ade simpan satu kayu, tapi yg minah ni jenis meliar biji mata.skandal bersepah..kamonlah, jantan paling buaya dalam kelas pon x sanggup nak main dengan die. x kuasa. maw laju mulut mak sound "loh, macam salah ade kawan laki" sambil buat poker face. X taw lah kalau die dengar ke x. mak dah x mampu nak kesian dengan pompuan jenis pathetic macam die. hey, mak kalau tengok die ala2 miss universe mak x kisah taw, at least entitle lah lagi nak bagi brand buaya kat die ye nyah, but puhliz, nyah, kaum kite jenis reject kat blakang jalan haji taib tuh lagi syiok taw~hahaha

tapi yang x bestnye nyah, mak still x leyh tangkap ikan.macam mana nie nyah~pompuan loose orang nak, mak yg gilang gemilang nieyh xde nak lekat.bukan apa nyah, mak x berani nak main cam budak2 zaman skunk. dah habis jiwang2 pastuh putus. mak nak yg laki yang nak bawak mak naik pelamin teros..dengan syarat mak pon suke dielah nyah.amacam~malas jugak tetiap malam minggu jenjalan kat KL pancing ikan. mak tahu le nyah tuh petik jari datang beribu..haha, jeles mak ngan u nyah.

oklah nyah, mak taw u bz.mak nak gi fapping jap. ada barang baru mak jumpa kat tenet.macam best cube.nanti mak bagi nyah pinjam ye.

p/s: pah tadi pesan kat mak jangan jahanamkan blog die.lambatlah u pah, I dah bantai ntah hape2.nasib u lah pah.

++mak na++

++glameeeerrr gituuuu++

I can't make up my mind

Okay, like seriously, I'm swamped with projects and lotsa assignments this sem. Not to mention my FYP proposal.


But Goddammit, I really~ want to increase my drawing skill~And these few days I keep prowling around DA for RP groups~there's a few that caught my attention~It's because I have no real prompt to draw and my skills get lousier.And I really don't want that.October is like the busiest month ever~ there's a few RP group that are taking new enrollment right now, but I'm afraid I cannot whip out a character that's fast~lol.Not to mention, I really lack the skill to create a character..really, It's not hard to draw some random OC but when it comes to creating a character, I do suck so much at it..what to do..

on further note, I'm actually excited about our batch's project. we will commence it on 28th October till the 30th. we called it OPKIM (lol, but I dunno it stand for what, suck to be me lol). this programme is a community-based programme, in which all 57 students of my class will go to this aborigine settlement at perak. Kg Banun if I'm not mistaken. though my work really on publicity only~I'm under them, what to do lol..really looking forward to it~hahaha.do really it will go on well.It is a big project for us anyway~

++chepazana++

++I see no point for this point lol++   

hong kong, u just the best lol ever~

Dragon Pout Hong Kong - Hetalia Version

---

Dragon Pout Hong Kong - Gen. Version

---

Dragon Pout Hong Kong - Tea Family Version

I think the tea family meme is the awesome-est ever!! Hong Kong, u cheeky brat.LOL (especially the last one, it's epic..Iggy give u moar food, yay?)
taken from:http://hetalia.livejournal.com/11550659.html
++chepazana++++sometimes I forgot that michael is Hong's human name++

knitting??lol

I think I did mention wanting to learn how to knit before this. My mom did taught me how to do crotchet (kait jarum satu) but somehow I'm not interested. Mom is quite good with her crotchet, pity she didn't have that much yarn (and she's too lazy~hehe). Hey, at least I did one stuff that resemble sarung bottle, though I stopped halfway. the remain of it is still in my room, untouched.The one that I really want to learn is knitting (kait jarum dua).

And I managed to learnt it yesterday, sacrificing my night sleep. My teacher? Youtube and the net. Today I even bought one huge chopstick so that I can practise it. It's quite simple, really. I'm the type who learn quickly by visual, so I didn't have much hassle learning the technique.still a bit awkward, lol.

I even sought an online store that sell knitting needle. found one and I put order for it. Since it was based on malaysia, quite cheap-lah. But the yarns~omaigod. x mau nak murah lagi. the site that I order the needle didn't have much choice, so I move to another site. The price is so-so, but the shipping fee made me want to muntah darah.x kuasa lah nak bayor shipping banyak tuh. tho dienye yarn semuanya tempting~aiyah~tunggu dah kaya lah~

the first project? I might want to do a garter-stitch scarf. so easy~once I have my hand on a nice yarn, then I'll proceed with it. I might buy the usual benang bulu cap nona yang banyak kat kedai. pastuh nanti I buat double work dengan basing up yarn mcm crotchet pastuh gumpak jadik satu yarn baru so that the yarn is thick enough, then baru I kait..haiih~banyak kerja tol~

biarlah saya x pandai masak, janji saya ade redeeming quality..boleh sogok bakal mak mertua pakai stuff kita kait~bolehkah??haha

my sensei: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2F6F3EC743712C11 and http://www.google.com.my/

++chepazana++

++insomnia++

coward much?

I should thanks my dearest laling coz she indulged my selfish and WTF kinda request. yeah, not many people, scratch that, there would be no one, except me, asking another person to skype-ing just to ask that person "teman I tidor jap".



I BLAME MY HOUSEMATE..



Kak Qhom telah menyebabkan saya bertindak seperti kanak-kanak tak cukup umor.

So here is the reason why I scared shit last night. Starting bulan Jun, we all dah start cuti. The house started to be void of person around the middle of Jun, kalau tak silap. Around July, Kak Qhom, our so-called bapak balik Puncak Alam to collect all the bills. Alkisah, Kak Qhoms tidurlah kat umah tuh malam tuh. Nak dijadikan cerita, die nie jenis yang receptive ngan entiti-entiti misteri, kira kuat lah dye nye sixth sense. Disebabkan takut nak tidur dalam bilik, dye tariklah tilam pegi kat living room. Then dye cakap, mulalah macam2 benda buat bunyi.

My room is said to be the most 'keras' punya room dalam umah tuh. Even the tenant before us said to be aware of it, since he'd seen enough to confirm that yeah, this room quite 'oommph-gitu'. Our room punye billik memang dah closed off dah, since me n my roomie dah lama balik. Pada malam tuh, Kak qhom bagitaw my room sangat meriah. Bermacam-macam bunyi kedengaran, dari bunyik pintu tuh kene ketok dengan bunyi kelentang-kelentung macam ramai pulak menate yang duduk dalam tuh. tapi kak Qhom wat bongok luh.

Oh, saya dah bagitaw yang Kak qhom lepak ruang tamu hari tu? ruang tamu tuh memang dah kire middle room dah. apartment kan~ktorang nye kitchen ngan living room parted by one mini bar, sebelah kitchen tuh ade ruang lebih yang biasa kitorang sidai baju ngan letak mop segala bagai. that place kinda like outer balcony, and it was fully encased ngan grill. Dengan layannye, Kak qhom bagitaw kat kami sambil sedut air Neslo-nye, dia nampak ada mende main panjat-panjat kat situ. ah, layan sungguh kalau rumah anda tingkat dua bende nak panjat-panjat kan~dah malas nak layan kerenah entiti aneh, kak qhom chow rumah kawan dye.

oh, and semua mende terjadi around pukul sembilan malam camtuh. takyah tunggu kol 12, time orang lain baru habis tengok berita dorang dah yarreba~hahaha.

sambil sedut tomyam masing-masing, kitorang story lagi. lagi sorang housemate kami tinggal sorang jap kat sini waktu bulan jun, sebab nak ganti praktikal~namanye Comok. Comok ade seekor teddy bear yang amat besar. kalau letak bear tuh kat katil, ade lah dekat setengah katil tuh bear tu je yang duduk. sebelum nie, ada budak kelas dah komplen pasal bear nie. budak nie tumpang tidor katil comok sebab buat esaimen ke hapa tyme tuh. Comok balik kot time tuh. x ingat sangat lah detail dye. Okay, si budak nie tidorlah sambil pelok bear besar tuh. tengah2 peluk bear tuh, elok die dengar bunyi bear tuh bernafas. teros dye campak bear tu ke lantai, pastu lari tidor ngan Kak Mek, roomie Comok. We all diminished cerita budak nie coz Comok x nah kena, and maybe dye ngigau kowt. Then we all kene tarik balik kenyataan tersebut coz Comok pon kene jugak tyme dye duduk sensorang~dengar bunyik bear tuh bernafas. ah, sudah~~

Bilik Kak Mek ngan comok nie x nah lak tenant lu cakap hapa-hapa. Tapi sem lepas, brapa kali gak dorang kena, ada mende ketok tingkap bilik dorang. again, tingkat dua~legasi antoo karipapkah? selepas Kak Mek nampak bayangan wanita, Kak Mek ngan konpemnye bagitaw, okey, bilik ni pon angker.hehe

Bilik saya lepas diduduki oleh me n my roomie, xde hapa sangat. tapi my roomie nie prone kene kacau sehari sebelom puasa.Tyme tuh saya balik umah, so dye tinggal sensorang. ktorang tyme tuh xde bed laie, so kitorang tidor atas toto saiz queen. tyme dye tidor, dye terjaga sat, pastuh dye perasan ade orang masok bilik and tidor kat my side of bed. and bak kata die, ianya memang serupa saya, cara jalan, pakaian, etc. siap tarik selimot lagi. again, saya balik umah ye..

kalau nak cerita, sampai esok pon saya kene menaip lagi. Alkisah, kami habiskan makanan yang kitorang order, pastu gerak balik umah sewa. mana tak terngiang-ngiang segala cerita. dahlah Nanad komplain waktu dye kat situ petangnye, sensorang pon macam banyak buyik dye dengar. terpaksalah saya yang gelabah sebab nampak kak qhom dah masok bilik dye, dan takot gile nak tido, message laling sepenuh daya, suruh dye bukak skype nye video call, supaya saya taw ade orang teman saya. Dan malam tuh, sekali lagi saya tidor bukak lampu. Tanpamu Laling, tidurku x lena.

terima kaseh kerana teman saya.

++chepazana++

++x salah kan kalau kita takut?++

fandom list

lol, coz we (me n laling) go nutty and want to compare list.this is MY fandom list. fandom that i ship~

Non-Yaoi Series/Stories

• sasunarusasu (since i read narusasu too, so it's fair too write it like this); Naruto
• HPDM ; Harry Potter
• AS/S ; Harry Potter
• ArthurxMerlin ; Merlin
• SebastianxCiel ; Kuroshitsuji (lol for shota)
• Shizaya ; Durarara
• SanzoxGoku ; Saiyuki

Yaoi/BL Series/Stories

• MorinagaxShouichi ; The Tyrant Who Fall In Love
• KiyominexTakara ; Komatta Toki Hoshi Ni wa Kike
• UsamixMisaki ; Junjou Romantica
• NowakixHiroki ; Junjou Egoist <3<3<3
• USUK ; Hetalia
• asakiku ; hetalia
• FRUK ; hetalia
• Gerita ; hetalia
• HRExChibitalia ; hetalia
• Spamano ; Hetalia
• Sufin ; Hetalia
• AsamixTakaba ; Viewfinder series
• TakanoxRitsu ; Sekaiichi Hatsukoi
• HatorixChiaki ; Sekaiichi Hatsukoi
• ShikixAkira ; Togainu no Chi
• YurixWolfram ; Kyo Kara Maou

I ship almost everything that I listed till now, except for the one that i highlighted with blue.it's kinda, err, a passing attachment.tho I still squeal when i watch anything about em. haha, since Yaoi is pretty canon-ish, I ship a lot of canon then? I tend to ship pairing that certain mangaka draw. just naming a few mangaka :

• Takanaga Hinako - queen of flangst
• Shungiku Nakamura- queen of denial uke and gag yaoi
• Abe Miyuki - queen iof BL? lol, I dunno
• Minami Haruka - queen of PWP (bondage, shota, kinky stuff
• Yamano Ayane - queen of badass chara

i thin i left a few coz i don't remember.lol

++chepazana++

++tired today lol++

lol

what a lol things to do to ur own bro when u both are dead bored. but damn, the boy is cute.before and after~can't believe i'm eating my birthday cake watching this.

++chepazana++

++happy 22 me?++

because seriously, it's like a rant. usually i update my status at fb with stuff like this but then i thought, what the hell~

hahaha, I woke up at 10 am and got my first drink at 6 pm. and not a single food get into my stomach yet.why?

it'a a way i did silly silent protest that no one notice but myself.haha, got pissed when no one touched what i cooked yesterday.silly, ain't it? it just that i came home with an empty stomach (at 6pm), with nothing on it except plain water, i walk the way from bus stop to home just to note that my housemate all bought themselves McD. oh well, fuck that. I didn't have a single shred of spare food in the cupboard.I don't have the luxury to buy any.okay, bcoz I'm pissed since no one had a decency to ask if i need anything while they bought food for themselves, I decided to cook a lil bit late (since it's my turn).

and i notice till late of night that no one touch what i cooked. well, i did eat my portion though. beggar dont have choice but to eat kan?i paid rm15 for meal yg i x tahu brape banyak kali i kunyah. hoh, maybe my insecurity dah start terok balik, i keep eating less and less here because i think i dont deserve it. like seriously dont deserve it. i keep myself locked in my room because aku rasa takda maknanya aku keluar. deme xde bende nak cakap ngan aku, aku x rasa aku layak nak cakap dengan mereka yang hebat2. aku x leyh keluar enjoy sama2 ngan dorang sebab aku kena saving duit aku.kalau x, aku kebulur.thus, aku dah out of circle and seriously dont fit in.maybe it's my fault since aku yang locked up myself dalam bilik too much, but mostly because i'm pissed lepas tu dah jadik style lak kalau aku menyampah aku x nak hadap muka orang yang aku tengah sentap. aku naik segan nak mintak tolong hatta tumpang ke kelas atau belikan itu dan ini walaupon aku sangat memerlukan kerana sumpah, kenkadang kome pandang aku cam sampah yang menyusahkan. sometimes i dont like the way that you speak like u have no sensitivity. kalau dah aku x leyh nak keluarkan dwet skunk, be a little bit understanding and try not to demand it right at the moment. mak aku buat nasi lemak je skunk okay. x kan aku nak mintak dwet sesenang hati bila orang tua nak naik patah riuk bangun tengah malam buat nasi untuk niaga?

oh god.aku takut satu hari aku cakap fuck you dekat korang.sumpah.

this make me happy today

although i have to take like three paper today ( I count the osce's papers in), I managed to smile. why? it's all thanks to this

storyboard book by pandabaka.go google

it's like an early birthday present for myself. yes I consider buying myself something that is not food and priced more than RM5 is a sort of present to self. Really, I don't care if people says I'm pathetic cause spending RM 6.40 on this is totally worth it. I always want to print this one out, seeing it all nice and binded up, I just can't stop smiling since I first seeing it like a book. I keep smiling and my friends are laughing at me, saying that my blissful face is totally one of kind. eh, I think anybody would laugh if someone take an empty book, and her pencil and her eraser with this loony grin and keep staring at it without blinking for like, a minute or two, grin still on face. Oh, and I still don't put anything on it yet. I dunno, this book seems so precious to me. I am thinking of doing a BL oneshot, without being graphic and all. coz, u know, shoujo is totally not my stuff and I don't have enough will on me to do a fantasy manga.and I'm in no mood to draw girls. let us all pray that with this new story board book I manage to do at least a oneshot and publish it somewhere (frankly, I don't know many place which host comic or manga and the like. the only one in my head is smack jeeves. any suggestion?)

my 2 May plan? go to shah alam, buy myself a piece of cake, and eat roti canai, and find that bloody Pentel pencil that I've been hunting for a month now. oh, i might consider big apple...or should I buy samudra's kek pisang? I can finish the long one by myself.hmmmm~~oh, and I might hunt for knitting needle.

++chepazana++

++should I try screen-toning too?++

before i go barmy and totally lost it

i want to put it up here~~~

my own to do list no matter how stupid this sound and how i noe myself work.but hey, one can hope kan?

++chepazana++

++reloading a bazooka for tomorrow test++

yay for stalking???

okay, I regressed. I 've got too many free time and I decided to stalk the nextgen of harry potter. okay specifically albus severus and scorpius. pssh, u guys noe how much i adore a blond and a brunette together.heh


deciding to give you an eyeful of how cute they (the official actor) are

bertie gilbert as scorpius malfoy..i totally pwn this boy.

arthur bowen as albus severus potter. dem, y so cute????

my favourite picture of the potter kids. from left to right: al, james and lily  

++chepazana++

++yeah, i ship AS/S.kill me++

yay for class doodle (18+)

apparently sitting in a class that consist of presentations equal to free time to draw and crack ensues.

warning: there's some..okay a lot of nakedness in one of the picture.if it is not your type of drawing please be aware. nothing sexual in nature, just nudity.

okay, this is what i draw at the start of the class

this is what happen at the back of the same paper.yes, I'm on crack



++chepazana++
++life couldn't get any sweeter when you can doodle to your heart content++

it's 1 am...

it's well past midnight and I still want to type all these stories that i just got today. and a few old ones that I'm gonna throw here.

Today, when I was at ICU for my practical session, I have a chat with the staff nurse that I'm tagging with. I dunno how we deviate to this topic but she told me that almost all the patient in bed one to bed four lodge complaint. And their complaint were similar.They say that there's a little kid playing around their bed and basically that kid will annoy them and keep disturbing them. She also said that the nurses work there wouldn't see a thing that the patient been complaining about. If there's only one patient from one bed that complaint it, they might regards it as delusion or something like that. but if two or three person lodge a similar complaint on one single thing, wouldn't it be different? plus, there are always the fact that kids under the age of twelve aren't allowed in ICU so what are kid around the age of three or four doing there?

the isolation room in the ICU lodge almost a similar complaint, but it's a complaint of a woman.

eh, and this one ain't really scary and it happen quite recently, this semester to be exact. I was staying at my uni's college as an illegal tenant for a few days due to certain event that I have to attend. We stayed at R6's prayer room. each of the hostel there was installed with a lift. And the lift is the kind that have some automated voice in it. so, as far as I know, these automated voice only said a few stuff, like (naik ke atas-going up) or (turun ke bawah-going down). I'm not sure whether it ever said which floor is it. so, it was around 10 pm-ish and I was alone, waiting for the lift so that I can go to sixth floor. when I got the lift it was empty, so I was alone there. then there's the usual automated voice saying that we're going up (naik ke atas) and yeah, naughty me are mimicking the lift sound and say stuff like (naik ke atas, pergi ke kanan, pusing ke kiri-going up, turning right, turning left) loudly in the same tone. but when I reach my floor, instead of opening up instantly it keep closed for a few seconds (more like minutes, idk, it felt like that) and the automated voice said something like (sila keluar, ada orang yang sedang tunggu di bawah-please get off, there's someone waiting at the lower ground). I don't really remember what it said but it was something like that, I was freaked out because I never heard of this phrase since I stayed hostel for a year and the door is still closed. Once it finished speaking the door opened and god knows how hard my heart are pounding. I seriously hope that what I heard is something that are really installed for the automated voice. well, one can hope right?

There are some spooky story in the house I stayed now but I didn't dare to write it. It's 1 am now and we, malays have some belief that saying that the midnight is not the scariest time at all, but when it come to 1-3 am, that's when you have to be aware and behave.

++chepazana++

++just have the urge to share++

random stuff on me

my awkward 9 years old self and
lil bro + lil sis.

• I've been to paediatrics ward, labor room, post natal ward, ICU, emergency department, mental institution, post natal ward, medical ward, surgical ward, orthopedic ward, neurology ward, ENT ward, obstetric ward, community clinic (specially on natal-care and children). I've never been to specialized clinic or OT.
• I daydream whenever I'm on a vehicle. especially when I'm alone.
• I prefer classic literature than the teensy romance novel. twilight? FTW. charles dickens way better
• I'm not big on watching drama or anime. I prefer something more conservative like manga or books or fanfic, whatever
• when I was 7, I weight 17 kg. According to my health record, that's it. oh, and I height like 132 cm?
• I always prefer blonde character. and I'm a sucker for peeps who got beautiful dazzling light-coloured eyes
• I rarely get sick.
• The first movie I watched was Harry Potter and The Order of Phoenix at Terminal One, Seremban with my bro and my ayunk, Bai. I was 18.
• The first time I went to Mid Valley, I'm 19. That's the time when I first enter uni.
• when I was in primary school, I always put my ambition as either a doctor, an accountant or a teacher. to justify these unrealized 'ambitions' I am a nursing student, which also will work in hospital, I took accounts for my SPM, and I teach my bro and sis. does that count?
• the first yaoi pairing I knew and adore is sasunaru. now, the list have become slightly...okay, not-so-slightly longer.
• I refuse to eat squid because I have a nightmare of them getting out from people's stomach after they eat em. I mean, everyone that eat squid at that place have some kind of seizure after they ate, and collapse, and squid get out from their stomach. I refuse to eat squid afterwards. till now.
• my name was given to me by my late paternal grandma. that's why it sounds so classic. seriously, zanariah? hapakah?
• my pa called me jet when she talk wif my ma. my relatives and childhood friends call me zana. quite a few called me zanariah. and most people know me as chepa.
• I came out with my pen name (kaizu deadhead) when I was 16, after I knew I failed my addmath and score B for my history test. 
• I'm a 3.1 kg baby, and my birth certificate number is I 109897 yeah, I still remember it now 

++chepazana++

++is that random enough?++

right now~

I'm totally besotted with this show

I always wanted to watch this series but I never have the chance to do so and right now, I'm hurrying to make up most of it by trying to watch as many episode as I like.

what I like bout 'em? I dunno, maybe the relationship between arthur and merlin? their bromance is the best! I always like the way arthur insults merlin, his arrogant attitude, his bratty prince side, his chivalrous side,His blonde hair and his blue eyes, I'm a sucker for it

and merlin? I absolutely love how awkward he is~ He did many foolish stuff but he always appear cute <3 he gave the lamest answer or explanation but he manage to get it through. orz, I totally dunno why but seeing he interacting with arthur is always funny.

If I can cut this picture, morgana, gaius, Uther and Gwen will not be there. oh and just because I can put up something here

++chepazana++

++I love mordred's eyes.Am I a pedo then?++

i wish for

i wish for a lot of things

but what I truly wish for right now is hot meals.

specifically pasta and lasagna. and two or three piece of pizza to boot. a vanilla shake.or those fancy-looking drink with ice cream on top of it,with sprinkles of course. a slice of cheesecake, and maybe a bar of chocolate. a blueberry cheese tart. oh, and big apple donuts. and kaya-butter waffles.and some sushi, as side dishes.and ice cream. the one that sold for RM 10 a tube.oh, throw a lipton fresh green tea for me.

give me all those, and I declare my undying love to you.

the greatest way to a woman heart is through her stomach. I kid you not!

++chepazana++

++love me? buy me those stuff++

suicidal project

yeah~my current WIP artwork. looks hideous kan? I have to postpone finishing this artwork since I need to read for my mandarin test tomorrow (yet I still have time to update my blog.what the..).

don't you guys think that the color pink seems fluffy? with lotsa sweetness and all those girly feelings. planning on pink-gray kinda theme but I wouldn't say that that will be my final product.

pray that I got the will to finish this, and it wouldn't look so garish,and by the end of it, I wouldn't kill myself.

++chepazana++

++pray..for me?++

spewing crap...and art?

ppl like this make me wish that i have a pro education on graphic art/design or something art-ish. i took art till form 3. i wish to take art for my spm but i have my hands full already. i have to juggle 13 subjects. (okay, at firt me n my bestie were kinda greedy, we took 14 but eventually we drop one subject, the simplest subject -tasawwur- and took bloody account as our additional subject.luckily we both bag A1 for that shit)

the tyme I seriously involved in manganime was when I'm 13. I start to draw seriously. and god, what a crap i drew back then. I don't have fren that enjoy drawing as much as I do. And i knew a few seniors that draw seriously good. But I was shy to approach em at first.i'm a shy girl, get it. I'm shy and awkward.still are, now. I have no one to teach me how to draw. but my imagination made it up for me. I daydream a lot, I draw every single day, and I read story book almost every day. and i snuck out of school to buy comics and bloody keep it hidden since comics are forbidden there. I was on roll back then. I dunno nets and sorely miss out what they offer. I'm totally shy with my artwork. duh.and so does my fren. Bai, don't keep ur drawing hidden!

when I'm at matrix, i met frens that have the same interest wif me. we draw a lot, and brainstorming become fun. I always have someone to share my ideas and drawing. and I get to know fanfiction. and fuck me, addicted to it lyke u never know. i squeal, and hola net, we met.

once I got net access at uni, I start to learn digital color. I want to know how to color better. I can see a lot of good artist with dashing skill of coloring. i pick up tutorial. i start to take more notice on how ppl blend color. and i uograding my drawing skill (which is still lacking) i wanna be good. this is something i enjoy and i seriously want to get better in it. fuck my programme, but this is what i feel at ease with. and english. english made me at ease. i mean, reading english stuff made me at ease. especially fanfiction. i don't have money to buy books but i got net to access. every single day, i would read fic. academical book is not an option. When I was in my primary school, I'm not bright in english. that's why I spent every single free tyme at secondary school reading english book.

and i write lotsa shit. enough with it. just so you wonder why the cuss, I watched shane dawson beforehand.not good.

++chepazana++

++so long, fuckers+

booyah biatch

this is shane dawson.

he's a youtube star.

he may look like some emo fag, but god knows he's awesome.

minus all the disturbing stuff there ( but man, i like it)

WARNING: U MAY EXPERIENCED A BOUT OF CUSSING SEIZURE WHERE EVERYTHING YOU SPEW OUT CONTAIN AT LEAST ONE CUSS AFTER WATCHING HIS VIDEO. coz believe me, i did.every single tyme.

oh, and Shananay? that bitch is so fcking awesome, ghetto or not. XOXO

++chepazana++

++yeah, i'm watching the vids so excuse my language.i'm under influence++

congratulations

to all my schoolmate yg sangat galak nak menambah list wedded peeps hamidian0206. saya sangat terkejut kerana bilangannya makin bertambah.yang dah jadik bapak sorang, isterinya, seorang skoolmate, merangkap gelaran ibu secara x langsung. waiting list jadik ibu 2 orang. another boyz dah slamat jadik hubby orang. nother one i just found out is actually taken and to be wed.when? i dunno.

those yg ade gaye cam pasangan yg dah berkahwin tapi hakikatnya tidak. better cepat2 buat majlis.hehehe

me? ntah bile.

nape cam aku rasa kita langkah bendul? does the batch atas kita dah ade yg slamat?kalau belom sumpah langkah bendul

++chepazana++

++facepalm-ing++

apa yang saya nak katakan

ada x saya pernah kata saya sangat benci sama budak gedik?

atau budak-budak yg omaigod konon2nye innocent nak mampos?

atau budak2 yang refer diri sendiri guna kata ganti diri untuk 3 orang ke atas untuk refer pada dirinya sendiri?

atau budak2 yang whinging ntah hape kejadah yg sangat lameeeeee dekat FB?

atau budak2 yg teeeeersangatlah pure that kalau you guys make one dirty joke pon diorang tak dapat tangkap?

or diorang akan konon2 nye marah pada u guys sebab u bwat dirty joke?

atau budak kampong berlagak lebih dari budak bandar?

adakah saya racist? saya bukan racist. saya tidak menyebut hapa2 race dalam post ini. walau saya ade prasangka buruk pada mereka, tapi saya kenal beberapa orang yang okay. yang lain, boleh pegi mampos.

saya x paham akan insan2 yang dunianya hanya restricted to dey all nye so-called buah hati or skandal2 murahan.diorang boleh tukar2 laki macam tukar2 baju. diorang merengek semua bende dalam fesbuk. hari2 diorang kene chat dalam msn or yahoo. kurang2 topup kene tambah 2 kali seminggu.hey, we all kan busy women, ade man yg kami kene balas sms setiap waktu.

saya x paham kenapa diorang kena advertise dorang nye kisah cinta kat fesbuk. oh, saya paham mereka dalam kehangatan cinta, tapi bukankah baik untuk kita bersikap sederhana? pernah dengar private message (PM) ? nak saya ajar guna macam mana?

oh, and i really have to mention. guys, sila jangan letak gambar separuh nude kamu dalam fesbuk.ianya menjengkelkan. atau gamba yang kamu rasa sangat sexy. kerana ianya menjijikkan. unless kamu aaron aziz. saya x kisah. somehow gambar2 itu kelihatan ghey. hey, i don't judge. sapa saya nak judge.if u prefer some solid sausage meat dipped in mayonnaise, oh, i think we got something common there. hahahahaha.apakah?

kamu x paham apa yang saya katakan? oh, maafkan saya. dunia saya adalah manga dan anime. saya akan kata saya otaku tapi saya bukan. saya more to fujoshi. hence the reason i don't judge. my friends? they all are wacko. and they dare to categorize me dalam perv nye golongan, walaupon dorang tuh sama jerk. saya tahu sebab PM saya dan teddy begitu 18++. saya banyak gune bahasa omputih.sebab dulu2 saya bodo omputih. saya kene tanya budak cina yg duduk sebelah saya untuk translatekan apa yang cikgu cakap.sekarang saya dah pandai.so, saya nak brag.hmmph. istilah omputih yg anda x paham? again, saya dari cult manganime. x paham sudah.ade yg bolh paham saya cakap hape.

++chepazana++

++post kat fesbuk bwat saya nak tulis gini++

saya seorang penghisap untuk ... (sila terjemah dalam bahasa inggeris sebaik mungkin ayat demi ayat)

yeah, letak r hapa2 fandom nye pairing, kalau dat pairing involve with some sort child to deal with (adopted, own child from previous association, godchild, mpreg, cauldron baby, potion mishap, come from the future kids, and yeah, hatched from a magical egg) i'm a sucker for that kinda story. this also applied in taking care of one's rival nye child.

in conclusion anything that involve current pairing yang i bace with their so-called-child.

ya,saya sangat suka tema famili.

excuse me, saya nak bwat gaya tonic-clonic nye epilepsy sambil berbuih2 mulut menjerit kebahagiaan.sekian.

++chepazana++

++who the f yg sorok medication saya hari nieyh?++

empangan, dalam bahasa inggeris dan disebut menyerupai satu kata sumpah

I seriously consider to tell myself to fuck off.

so yeah I have some inferiority complex, a so-not-healthy dose of paranoid and whole ego shit going on, ignorant, liking my solitude too much that i might as well be a hermit,thinking too much about my wallet,lack of confident and pessimist.

burdening you with my insecurities,ladies and gentleman.

++chepazana++

++eh.....+

this is win

this thing here, it's epic

Pok'ebra by ~szmoon on deviantART

can i say i want one too

:goes n hide:

++chepazana++

++ppl thought o weird stuff++

on kuroshitsuji:sebby

oh-kay. so i got bored during mandarin class and i can't risk sleeping in class so i draw. somehow i sketch sebby.now, i have a little quiz for you. did you notice anything weird with this picture and the difference with the second pic?

and now, i point out what i want you to notice.

as you can see, silly me had drawn sebby totally out of proportion. and i got panic.and thank god i remember that there's a solution to this out-o-proportion's problem. it's PAINT TOOL SAI.i open the file on sai, resizing first the size of the head and then the body. but the thing is that this is the first tyme that i use this particular function so the result turn out to be awkward. i try my best to salvage it but i don't know what can be said for the final product here

kuroshitsuji: sebby by ~kaizuDeadHead on deviantART

i think i overdid it.god, who care?

-pfft.sebenarnye den teruja nak guna pensil kayu yang diasah dengan sharpener besor (jenis posing2) tuh yg sketch pon pencilling je pon.

++chepazana++

++jenis manusia cepat teruja++

spouting out idea

eh,i'm actually thinking of opening up commission amongst my school fren etc etc etc. but i didn't really have a decent sample, yet i need the money so that i can support myself and not relying on my parents money.and i can't think of what should i commish. should i do sketch, or inked illustration, or colored one? or maybe chibi? eh, come to think of it, i never draw consistent chibi.

i seriously need to think this throughly.aigoo

and start doing portfolio and examples.

:facepalm:

oh life, why must you suck so much.i don't want to go to starvation mode so early at the sem.

++chepazana++

++reflecting and brainstorming++