Baby and me ( not a movie tittle plz)

Somehow I manage to show to them that a freak like me can actually handle babies way better than those smart-ass who only knew the basics in books and totally forgotten on how to take care of their siblings (given if they have any experience in doing so).

I'm posting at post-natal ward at 6D at Sungai Buloh Hospital. That ward only admit normal newborn and mother without much complications after delivery. I manage to shut a baby that mother's away for treatment (ok, it's like he shut up once i hold him and then start to cry back and my colleague ask him from me and i give it to her and then he's still crying and she gave it to me but the baby still cry albeit only for a few seconds and then shut the hell up) and they have this disbelieve look on how i'm not awkward at holding newborns and feeding them supplementary milk. Though they throw a few comment on how brutal the way i handle em. It looks rough, yes but I actually handling 'em pretty well. My hands are still though i slouched when i held the baby and feed him and looks like a gangsta with a baby at her hand. I wanna take pic but someone told me that it is not encouragable to take pic wif babies. Plus it's not my kid so i'm cool.

And i thought i'm not going to change anyone's diaper. Yet, i'm still doing it.hahaha. newborn poop didn't smell ( or maybe i'm just plain immune to it)

Get a first-hand experience on seeing how the newborn receive their BCG. It's given Intradermal. The JM said something like if the BCG are given IM then the effect would be just like injecting plain water to the baby. Something like that.

I have to read more on breastfeeding. I have to teach the new mothers on how to do so. I even have to teach them on how to properly hold their babies. Although i have no experience on doing so ... yet. Somehow kak qhom, after reading one patient BHT state that she's felt challenged. One of the mom is actually 18 years old and the hubby is a year older than me. Wtf? Hehe. At least she got married.

Babies cutie, here (step) mama come.

P/s: i hate people who touch a newborn without a reason to do so. If you only want to coo or something like that you better read on health ed. Babies supposed to be bonded to the mom. Let the mum cuddle em. If i have a newborn myself, i wouldn't like anyone else to keep touching my baby like he/she was her kid. And watch ur hand b4 n after u touch newborn.they are prone.noktah

 

++chepazana++

++teringat time beliau keje di nursery dolu++

My daily routine during non-class day

This is basically my routine. Totally ain't like other's peole, with exception of few people, who I know have the almost similar routine. The one thing that you might find consistent in the picture is the lappie and also the bed. I basically live on the bed. I eat, i sleep, i draw, i bitch around, i surf net, i watch stuff, i read stuff, i'm doing my assignment, i'm on phone with my girls-it's all on this bed. It's like my sanctuary, my guilty pleasure. I keep snacks under my bed, within reach so that i don't have to walk to my locker (refer pic 3) and yes, the first thing i attend to at the morning is my lappie-whether to turn it off or just continue with what i left last night.

Koko just like to sit there and be pretty. He can only be use at night when i sleep. I only walk away from my bed to bath, pray, classes, assigment-related activities,buying food or when i have enough of her. I think this is the reason why i gained 2 kilos despite that batu caves that i have to climb for classes almost everyday in a week.

And i took my brunch, dinner and whatsoever all in front of my lappie. I can't really part with him now. Take it nasi lemak ke, nasi ayam ke, nasi goreng cina ke, I'll find a way just so that i can eat in front of the lappie. lazy me.

I really love my lappie~~

++chepazana++

++my lappie is my love right now. And my bed too++

A few not so good fact about me

1. I'm a picky eater. I don't like greens, I avoid red meats and chicken. I can't stomach sausage. I'm not keen with shells-stuff (e.g clamps). I abhor cuttlefish (thanks to the weird dream I got when I was a kid) yet i do eat that dried cuttllefish with sugar (that one yummy). I totally in love with prawns and its family. I'm the one who slay fish for food. I also adore crab (snap snap). I can't really tolerate hot and spicy food. Oh, catfish is nice. When I was small, I don't really like durian. But now, it's okay. I can only eat instant noodle that is cooked on stove, or if I have no choice, cup noodle. I give beansprout to my friend. That's a few of my eating habit.
   
2. I have a sub-aneroxic site in me. I called it "reaksi penolakan". If I reached my limit, my throat automatically do this weird thing and I feel nauseous. But I never really throw up. Can we really presume I have eating disorder if I actually hurl out everything? No, wait. I don't have any body image problem. In fact, I gain a few kilos already. Aiyah
   
3. I'm clingy. To the fact that people might actually called me a Les. But no one had really said that to my face. Most of the time, the one that I clung onto have that thrown to their face.hahaha. I hold hands like lovers do when I'm hanging out at mall with Bai. We're both touchy feely. So we do all touchy feely stuff, but we're cool. I hug people (tha female) randomly too. Some of them might jump out their nerve when I do that, but I'm cool. I don't grope you guys right? Okay, maybe I did that with certain people, but I'm just fooling around. And I act sweetly with my friend that my gay brother called me a Lesbo. Especially when I'm on the phone with laling.
   
4. I'm the type of person who sent subtle hint if I don't like something. If I didn't like someone making noise, I'm gonna be quiet for like hours, with nothing coming out my mouth to the point that when I start to speak out, my voice croacked, just like when I just wake up. But sometimes, I just glare. I'm not good at glaring, yet I think it can be passed as glaring. But the other time, I just speak right out what's the problem is. I tend to be blunt with my remark, and sometimes effing rude with it. If i have no choice, I'll be bitching about it with other people or at the blog. Sometimes, FB got the splashes too.
   
5. I hate noises when I try to sleep. Especially unnecessary noise. I can bitch about that for hours.
   
6. If I'm at my bedroom, I like my door to be shut nicely so that no sound from outside can leak in. I kinda grow some special sense with it that even when I'm sleeping, I know that someone had not shut the door properly and it woke me up. I'm weird just like that. Even with my back facing the door and I wear headphone with blasting music, I can still tell that the door is not properly shut. This door rule apply to my room at college.
   
7. I also hate unnecessary noise wake me up. People who talk loudly when answering call, scraping chair sound, extra banging sound, my siblings shouting like little shit outside, it all woke me up.
   
8. If I don't have my breakfast yet, I tend to bitch around. This goes on till someone shove a food right down my throat. This only apply at home.
   
9. If I hate someone, I hate her/him with a fervour, and if I like someone, it gonna last like forever. So, don't have me at your bedside since the consequences is not really nice. I won't lash out but I'm gonna torture you mentally. Till you lose your mind.
   
10. I'm an avid fan of BL and yaoi. My biggest fandom would be sasunaru. If people telling me that this is not normal and stuff like that, I'll probably ignore it. I don't care. Though I'm not at the ultimate level of fujoshi-ness, know this. I read, write,draw and watch every genre and rating of manga, doujin,anime,drama cd and fanfic. Hungary-san is my idol at fujoshi-ness.she's super awesome. And why the f*** I write a country name as an idol? Try google it with hetalia at the end. You'll find the answer.
    
11. I'm a sucker for any blond character with bright eyes color (i.e Naruto, England a.k.a Arthur) and if there's any black-haired chara with an obvious asian feature they're gonna be paired up in my mind and be the latest fandom I ship (exception to Joker pairing, they're both blond)
    
12. I can write long entry. I kid you not. And it's actually didn't cover 1/10 of my story.

++chepazana++
++ah, the wonder of word2007++

a useless entry ~~

...consisting of my dekstop screenshot..OTL


I just make a few useless customization (but held a very significant meaning to me)
I especially fond with kyuubi as firefox icon~~
and that's an Iggy flele shell -in pirate outfit-
papa's and daddy's symbol beside each other
don't ask about the HP skin for wmp~~ I dunno what's gotten to me~~
ah, and the lotsa hetalia icon~~nyaa



and my lappie littering with stickers. I'm childish yet I'm gonna be 21 in two month~~

++chepazana++
++losing her insight on becoming adult++

the most lovable, sincere...

Love letter that I have ever read~~

This is taken from Junjou Romantica series, under the arc of Junjou Egoist ( if I'm not mistaken, don't bother to find it back).It's a letter from Nowaki to Hiroki, when he's abroad.The one that Hiroki open up and read amongst other, the one that he finally get a hand on after Nowaki came back to Japan.here it goes:

Hello. Over here, it's quite...
...have you been? For now, I've gotten used to the new enviroment and I'm doing well. but recently my longing to see you has been growing more and more intense
and I can't help but laugh a bit wryly at myself.
I want to see you. I pondered why exactly I felt so discontent, and I realized that.
I don't feel any dissatisfaction about the classes at school here or the lifestyle,
it's just the simple fact that I can't see you that's making me feel insecure.
But I haven't even brought myself within sight of your back yet,
and I know that now isn't the time for complaining.
I won't be mailing this letter now, but one day I would like to show it to you proudly, with dignity
and to reach that I will keep working as hard as I can.
I have to admit something.Before I left Japan, I snuck a picture of you while you slept.
I look at it everyday. It's my sole support. I really do love your face when you sleep.
I'm sure I'd get a punch in the face if you found out, so I'll keep it a secret.
I've almost reach the bottom of the page, so I guess I'll end it for today.
I'll write to you again.
Hiro-san, I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you
I love you. I really, trully love you.
I miss you.

-kusama nowaki

ahh~~ I'd been screaming like a bloody fangirl when I read the translation of the letter every single time ( I can't keep track of how many times that I rewatch it) Of course this is not the first fictional love letter that I found from my reading but then, I have to admit that this one is totally sincere. It manipulate the simple language that were used in everyday's conversation, with none of that sappy language (e.g your eyes are beautiful like those of gems, smoldering me with every single gaze). this letter is straight forward, the content show how Nowaki really felt that time, too many things to say yet it cannot be fit in one letter.thus the random content. And the one with Hiro's sleeping face being his sole support, so cute -insert girlish fangirl screaming here- Ah. the highlight of this letter would be the many (I miss you) by the end of the letter, he can't write it enough. he keep writing the same thing. he really miss Hiro!! Nowaki you lovely bastard. I ♥ you!!

ah, I'm drowning in other people love letter~~feeling the love~~

++chepazana++
++still squealing like a fangirl she is++

I'm gonna be NR next time..and a little talk on my obsession

lately laling had been very suspicious when I thank her for no many reasons. thanks to her subtle hints I got to read skip beat, an absolute superb shoujo manga.. lately my mood had been a little messed up so I have a change with my reading choice. But that doesn't mean that I'm gonna quit Yaoi and BL and stuff cause so you know, I l♥ve it. period. Wanna know something that totally pathetic awesome? I had been an avid fan of sasunaru since I'm 16 years old. Ah~ the old days. those remarkable one transitional week. I keep smiling for no reason at all till my dorm mate had to make excuses for my behavior. owe you one , Paien. For a normal good person to still stick to this weirdo till the end of school day, you're totally awesome. because for one thing Paien is like, totally normal. And, once again laling managed to make me cry with only one call, telling me the spoiler for Naruto 486. but I think last week record was far more greater, since she can make me cry with only one sms. Let us hope that I got to read this week chap and the net is not cranky cause this chapter seems to be one of those chapter that indicate changes of things (or in other words, one more significant sasunaru moment. last week is one too? wtf with the tittle? so far yet so close? so corny. And man, look at papa, what kind of greeting is that? you don't really greet your so called rival-turn-best-friend-that-got-so-wacked-up-with-revenge-and-shit-then-betray-your-own-village-just-to-get-power-from-some-mutated-trans-and-put-a-hole-right-through-your-chest with stuff like I'm glad I met you. that like, totally wrong.unless you know, you ♥ him, hahaha).

Ah, I finally got a song that I want to hear today, many thanks to Ieka.she's super awesome to have this song and save me the trouble to rummage through the net just so that I have to find the song. It's been in a single playlist today. The final product of hearing the same song (everytime we touch) and mind full of crappy shit involving papa and daddy, thus this shit appear..


suddenly both of them looks too girly and daddy looks like some chic turn to vampire with the red eyes and all. This was actually a sketch that i took with my camera phone and bluetooth-ed to my pc and after much editing and all, this is the final product. I still need a lot of training when it involve coloring and all that.all hail to me~hahaha

ah, I might going to be NR starting next sem. My pa had given his green light to me. and there's people who gonna let me stay with them. I don't really have much trouble right now, except for some fugly bitch that i totally hate. I was hoping to get rid of myself from her presence. Let us just pray that everything is okay,kay?

this is somehow a long entry.There's too much to tell you guys this time.hahaha.
oh, disclaiming naruto and sasuke since it's masashi's. I'm almost at legal age where sue is something that gonna fall under my name.

++chepazana++
++an awesome tips, if u see a blank space on between sentence, try highlight it++

imitation black: step by step on fanart

the step by step by the one who have to many time on her hand

the rough sketch. i use deep blue lead so that explain the sketch color. i have to rewatch the vid for a few times till i get the atmosphere and have to pause to draw the rough sketches of their clothes

I directly inked Len's dress with o.2 pilot drawing pen. there's a few addition I made to Gakupo.

finished with inking len yeah you're pretty Len, no doubt, but you're a boy. start to ink the foremost part of Gakupo (his hand). I got pretty confused with his hair I'm messy, lol thus i re-sketch it using my 3 years old mechanical pencil.

pretty much done with basic outline and start to ink Kaito. He's pretty easy though ink consuming..

Tadaa~~ the basic artline done. Since I'm a crap at cg-ing and I'm gonna make it a full monochrome illustration, there's a few addition that have to be done

start to color the black area. I've never really abide the light-and-shadow rule, i just go my merry way to do so. It less complicated that way. trust your instinct when doing so I'm not responsible if yours turn out bad. to make it less confusing I made a tiny little 'x' on every part that need to be inked black. do anyone tell you the marker, though xylene-free have the most awful smell?? that thing contain fatal substance, i swear

the most annoying fun part, re-inking part. There's a few line that needed to thickened. usually i have my 0.1 and 0.4 to do that part. the difference in line will make the artwork more 3-D.

pretty much done with illustration. I added a few elements just to ensure that the artwork won't look empty. I'm a freak so I have a crazy urge to fill every single empty space

screw this...i've got too many free time on my hand and i'm ignoring my assignment. sue me, but i have to de-stress my self. excuse me...those three smexy hot bishies just scream "draw me!!!" with those delicious outfit..huhuhu

the final artwork can be seen here click this magic link

++chepazana++
++still running imitation black in her music list++