a diary entry...of a kind

damn my scanner juz make itself available at land of the crashed but i really want to put it up so i juz snapped a pic o it, still readable though. cannot put up the second part. that one is totally..udhue

++chepazana++
++still not sleeping though it's 649 am. shucks ++

when u're stressed out, u discover new thing

apparently that was a long tittle but somehow that's the right things to be said with my new discovery. due to one depressing paper, i have an insomniac night which i spent on drawing and tadaa~ i can draw with a new style.

i was actually tempted to do a template on consistent expression but at the end i was somehow drawing a realistic character, which are not that realistic at all.

a potrait of myself that i try to draw. one glance of the potrait you can't say that u know that that was actually my potret.


i was actually trying to do draw bai but at the end the result was not that good. ignore the random sketch.


this time it's a caricature. all i can say that new things are enjoyable to be explored but all in all, the result may not be that good.

++chepazana++
++suffering the side effects of the insomniac night++

i go to sleep

When I look up from my pillow
I dream you are there with me
Though you are far away
I know you'll always be near to me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

I look around me
And feel you are ever so close to me
Each tear that flows from my eye
Brings back memories of you to me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

I was wrong, I will cry
I will love you till the day I die
You were all, you alone and no one else
You were meant for me

When morning comes again
I have the loneliness you left me
Each day drags by
Until finally my time descends on me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

-sia, i go to sleep-

especially for papa n daddy.don't u think so, laling??

you guyz shall listen to sia's breathe me. the song r magnificent though the lyric don't really make much sense to me.

++chepazana++
++eating bubur jagung and ubi rebus, some kopi ensues++

my latest...erm fav past-time??

i'm totally shipping ollian..absolutely..gosh, they are cute, hot,sweet and *poof* they're real person. not any fictional character. ok, they are but at least i can oggle some real thing this time. i've been doing marathon on varbotene liebe. that nanna guy only cutting excerpt from it, focusing only on olli and christian, with persons that are involved with em.and gordon are so...howt? well, he's chris bro after all.figure.

and i can say that olli is a perfect model for a boyfriend. he's caring, supportive, cool, fun to hang out with,patient and he's hot....ah, i envy that git.

while i was writing this, i watch part 89 of that series and it's been a long time since i squeal like fanatic fangirls. right after the most important match of life, in front of handfuls of audience and the clicking camera of the press, that kiss is one of the romantic thing i ever watched on a show.

and i learn one phrase from that series. ich liebe dich. ciao.

++chepazana++
++papa and daddy still are my liebe.such heiss are them++

that one is a sore spot. she hit it all right. who am i without bugging her off? she keep helping me out of pinch and i never really do anything for her. i really want to do something for her but i don't know what, how and when can i do that.

really sorry for that. since she's the one that i really harbor my trust too, i confine in her. she did help...she really did, and she's done it for useless me. instead of making use out of thing that she help, i gleefully doing some fucked up thing here. sorry then.

i shall not take things lightly after this.

and try to be useful for once

at least once..

i try..
maybe i will
maybe

++chepazana++
++bugger off. need to clear my head a lil bit++

lokk....my kiddie!!!

introducing my new kids....naru and cheeha. their names click something in your mind? figure. i named them after papa and daddy, of course. that sleepy-head is cheeha and that cutie beside him is naru.

that's belle.their older sis. and cheeha, in his own crib.

together they're taking a stroll down my own bloody table with oh-so-gayish pink pram. not that they complain. apparently they can't talk.

oh, look!! a -cat- guy. he's Niles, a butler that take care of all my child. and no, he's not a pedophile or anything vulgar. the reason he being half nay-ked is because i..urm..strip him myself??? and my god, doesn't my child look cute, going all clingy with a guy other than their father. shall punish them for that...i want to make a scene where Niles help Belle up but it looks lyke he kiss her and stuff. what with the close gone.( well, you see, that cloth have a very interesting design and i somehow forgot to give it back to Niles)

all the family having dinner!!! they even invited Mong jr. ( see that monkey, he's mong. my friend props.not mine.honestly, monkey??) cheeha refuse to have cake and slep in his shared pram. can you guess i use what for table and ooh, niles have his cloth back!!!
a very loving butler and caretaker of my child, despite looking like a pedophile

++chepazana+
++miss her child and niles already++