i read, i write

Lol

Really, tear-jerking fics are tear-jerking. Just finished reading this one angsty fics. God. HPDM fics really owned that section. Their brand of angst is totally different from the one that I read in another fandom (i.e Merthur and Sasunaru)

I have a weakness for HPDM that have those next-gen ppl wif them. Especially Scorpius. The fandom paint him as something lovely. I remember this one particular fic (forget title, the author is jinko in ffnet if I’m not mistaken). Scorpius is their son, through surrogate mother (not mpreg, woot) and the future is one that the light side is losing. Everyone is dead, and the final straw is when Harry himself is dead, so Scorp, somehow a potion-genius-mentored-by-Snape-and-schooling-at-muggle-school made a Time potion and go back to the past. At each new chapter, there will be excerpt of Scorp’s journal from the future. It’s an honest-to-god-heart-wrenching opening excerpt that you’ll ever read. I hate Future!Harry a bit. Too trapped in his own sadness to remember that Scorp needs him as he’s the only one left. At least it had that ambiguous happy ending stuff, with the future unknown, people get together, dear voldie dah kiok though Scorp had to go back to his time and live there, with limp dat he got at the present time.

And this particular fic I dug in LJ fics rec. I have to lock my door and barricade it with stuff coz I don’t want my sibling barge in when I’m tearing up. They’ll mock me. Endlessly. Title: The price we pay for wings and its sequel. Though the sequel is the one that made me tear up. Author killed Scorpius. Kejam gile. And Scorp died for Al. My heart yearns to comfort both Al and Draco. They both love him, and lost him to the new war. And Al, they’ve only been together for a year before he died. By the time Draco and Al both cried on Scorp’s death anniversary in Al’s room, I legitly cried. Why kill a likeable character? Suck big time author. Though it kick the angst bone somewhere in me.

Merthur brand of angst is mostly on the lie that Merlin is magic and he hides it, and they play on it. Even in modern AU, Merlin always has a secret. Sasunaru brand of angst lies on their life, and their personality (Sasuke is the epitome of emo-ness). HPDM brand of angst lie on their personality, the war, their past, their stance, the community, their everything. In HPDM, you can always dig in good amount of angst with enough fluff to balance it. And Plot. They own plot. They can write mysteries, with romance on the side. If you want a good romcom, flangsty stuff, Merthur Modern AU totally owned that. And a good, aww-gushing, PWP would be sasunaru forte (DMZ, till date, is still my fav).

Ahahahaha. I love Scorpius Malfoy. More so than Al. hahaha. blonde always appeal to me

++chepazana++

++blonde n brunnette mmg cantik++

p/s: the fic by jinko is when time snt enough at ffnet

FML

so I got a bit hormonal, and got easily off my handle, and i've got a bit of my mouth, and temper. Mom is hormonal, and stressed. period.

So we always, always, always get on a fight. She nag. I nag back. and we give as good as we get. And we (combi and I) learnt early on to not counter every argument she made, and let her nag till she let off her steam. And funnily enough, Kasim ada hati nak tegur me. ha ha. Yes, I made mum angry at me with my temper but Kasim on totally other level. me? Aenda didn't threaten to throw me out...yet. Fuck you Kasim. a man, 22 and still depends on ur family, no motivation and attached to ur phone? cut ur balls, be a girl and get some ride on other man's tail.

I didnt agree with the way their handling my younger siblings. I said this many time to my mum ( and got in a few fight because of it). They lack discipline. They talk back (esp Uki), and purposely be rude. we'll be moving back to Ulu Kelang, where the youngsters here are varieties of bastard-birthing girls, no-purpose man, a few ppl-that-involve-in-illegal-substance, kids that didn't finish their schooling. The one that come out decent is people that didn't step outside of their house and socialize with the ppl here (my neighbour's kids, whose children r our childhood fren, come out ok. the girls r going to be doctors. slum-born doctors, ha ha. osem wat?)

so yadda yadda yadda

nak terjun sungai. air tengah dalam.

fast update on RL (pentingkah?)

currently in a staring-down contest with Uki, coz he is being a brat (ALWAYS!!) and god, kalau boleh, i piap piap leher dia sampai terpriak terus, hampas padi punya budak.

still diligently menanam anggur. might get serious once after convo. procrastination till the end bebeh. gaya hantu je bagi alasan kan.

Oyen dah baik dari sakit. and has the ugliest sound a cat can have. last night he was scratching the aquarium (which had two ikan puyu and one ikan keli). He had graciously dump us a loooooooooot of gold (poop!!) that he's been banished to sleep outside each night. He still listen to Tama best, that brat.

got hooked on Xfactor USA. fav contestants for now are Emblem3 (huzzah, inner teengirl), Paige and Beatrice.

Still pretty much reading every fics available on Merlin, tho I have incredible urge to read HPDM. Had read a few sasunaru again this past week ( a collection gifted by dear friend. thnk a bunch laling)

Merlin is almost reaching the half-series mark. ugh, sungguh cepat masa berlalu. dahlah series 6 nye khabar x berapa nak ada (no official say about whether there is S6 or not).

made kek pisang (pakai blender! org melayu mmg suka pakai shortcut) and biskut kacang mazola (this one selalu jadik pilihan any one of us yg pegi saroja utama-our local mart. they sell it for 20 cent each. heaven nak mampos kalau makan).

and now I am hungry.pfft

++chepazana++

++bila lagi mak na nak muncul mak na tak taw++

p/s: saya sangat menyarankan anda tune in hot fm cerita cinta @ 11pm-1am weekdays. yes, the talks is sooooooooo lame but if I have a say in anything, I recommend it just because it have fab songs at that time. I know Sinar kinda rolling all the good 90's but this segment's songs just kick my jiwang mode. kemon, feminine?elite?KRU? all in their 90's glory? I so dig that. i might squeal a bit when there's innuendo (a decent malaysian vocal boy band.fourteen? x leh lawan dude)

Have heard of of monsters and men? I reccing it. coz I like it. am so listening to this kinda o english song. reccing little talks and king and lionheart. mountain sound kinda cool too. up to u guys.

found a site with flash stuff that u can click on plugin,slow,faster,andharder interesting buttons. tho anthro/furry sect hav the biggestmost flash n by far the funnest of em all. how i stumble upon dis one i don't know. pedo r so gonna like it. pfft  mak na pon likelikelike juga. hiburan waktu takde customer y'alllzz

Things that is on the top of my hate list right now

Is cliffhanger…

Yup, fucking cliffie, where it hangs you by thread and guh, you feel like it will snap anytime.

I read fanfics on daily basis. I’m an addict. Fact: I rarely read WIP. In fact the few fanfics that are WIP and I’m following religiously is HPDM Number Seven by Sara Holmes (yes, she made good HPDM fics. I give u my word. Go search her on ff.net. In fact I did cry reading her ASS fic ‘hello’) and Merlin’s Loaded March by footloose. I think I did pamper her with praise before in this blog but god knows, a praise given is a praise due.

So yeah, Footloose had uploaded the latest part of LM : 10 Means to an End. And I downloaded it. And I practiced some kind of saintly patience by holding to read it off until my net go kaput. And I read it. Once my net go kaput, I read this delicious 100k epic (by far the longest part she ever did, but seriously the most cliffie that she did. Other parts can’t compete moar with its cliffie-ness)

And my lips are bleeding. Partially because it was dry and I cant stop peeling the dry skin. And I keep biting on it.

I go through so many emotions reading it. Footloose had a way of writing in which you will be sucked in, fall in love with her world and her characters, and make you feel along the read. Be warned: I’m putting up shitload of spoilers just because I can.

This part is definitely hotter, with bunch of smutty scene cleverly done. There are a few Vital Moments (lets go with VM, yeah?) we have in this part. So much that my head screamed (that may be due coz I’m reading it from 12 am straight till 630 am, with occasional break of midnight cooking and Merlin rewatch).

VM 1: They fucking elope.

-Remember that they did the bonding over their matching tattoos for a year and a day? (either in part 8 or 9, cant remember much. Need to reread the whole series) They decide to fuck that, run alongside each other while holding hands to Gaius and get handfasted the pagan way. I think Merlin was the one who ask Arthur to elope, the man had been tense since the cage-fight medieval style in part 9 and that help Arthur to relax somehow. The handfasting ceremony is simple, but magical, in every sense of words. And yeah, the sex afterward? Fucking hot.

VM 2: NWO do some badass stuff (of the evil sort)

-breaking through the Pendragon company, wrecking havoc, copying BAMF prototypes, what else? And it seems everyone is jumbled up I don’t even… The NWO, the Directory, M-something and other secret agents are all full of their own agendas. And the men with a bunch of dragons that pop up just at the end of this part (I’ll assume that they are Dragonlords), it’s effing thicken the main plot. I can totally sympathize with Arthur. They have suddenly one up him at this part and yeah, you just so can feel for him.

VM 3: The Battle

-It’s messy, it’s epic, and Excalibur really had it bad. GUH, and Merlin, and Kay (I’m liking him somehow) and Gwaine and Percy, and oh, everyone!!

VM 4: Morgana

-is a legit Seer and Leon's fiancée, who can lash out and hurt people with her words and shoot in between two eyes like BAM!!

Always a VM through the story: Arthur & Merlin

-Yeah, Arthur is a bit o mess in this part, Morgause hanging him on thread, which then Merlin counteract by eloping, then the Pendragon hacking, which lead to him radio-lost somehow and made Merlin and team nervous as hell and I’m only telling you the plot. Apakah? Okay, they really upped their relationship, they are fucking serious and it was really never this tense before. They both have a few of their hard moments here, and they always keep one another on toe. And I manage to restrain my tears when they have that conflict about letting Merlin be the bait, just because Arthur somehow play his card wrong. and it just feel real yeah, none of those exaggerated stuff. Always in-character. Huh.what the.mind cant process words rite now.

Me gonna sleep.huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ETA: I wrote this one waaaaaaaayy back when I just finished up LM 10 and I got no net access. I need to vent.seriously.I didnt make sense much.but yeah.

++chepazana++

++penanam anggur official++

btw laling. sorry for your loss. I'll pray her with al-fatihah. :snugglescozIcantdobearhug:

crash updates

behold, my love for merlin fandom is still going on strong, so god help you guys, I'll be wearing, ummm, what , your eyes out, reading all these words.

oh, I did seemed like I'm dead. with no updating and shit, but goodness, a lot of thing is going on with real life, and boo hoo for my broken lappie and being poor as a church mouse which made access to net is predictably limited (believe me, it's related).

Spend the whole time during my time on blog-hiatus with not drawing much, clinical practice and yeah, inhaling all those wonderful merlin fics. (also, some appropriate stalking on the production of Merlin season 5) which leads to me dolling out a few recs.


If you are new to the fandom, I think that they are quite a few classics that you need to read. Merlin fanlore ( http://fanlore.org/wiki/Merlin_%28TV_series%29 ) will help a lot in that department. Once you have done enough digging on it, try on those few classics ( I think they did put it up there, coz, let be honest, I didn't even know this thing exist the first time I plunged my head in this fandom and just now stumbled upon it). once u tasted enough classics, let us see where ur taste lies in, The Canon, The Canon AU, The Modern AU, The Reincarnation, The Modern Magic AU and all others subtypes. then go google. Recommending you guys to google all the fic recs, coz u might get overwhelmed with all the fics out there. It's serious business, finding good fics.

If one ask me, what is my favourite subtypes, I will answer it accodingly to my flavour of the day. though I am a huge sucker for Flangst (does this word exist? pretty much use it wif my friends like nobody business, yo) and h/c. definitely recommending Lady Ragnell, FuzzyTomato, an oh god, so much more, and oh, FootLoose. oh this person is a must.

okay, The awesome FootLoose did an awesome series of Loaded March (currently on part nine). Fabulous modernmagicAU. she wrote the most plotty, engaging, emotional fics with characters, including the king-arthur-related-OCs that have more personality than ever. each one is strong in their character, with all the main characters pretty in much in character despite the setting (Merlin in military, will wonder ever cease?) and interacting enough to make all characters Important. ugh, and the building up towards the relationship, it's paced good enough that you didn't feel rushed, you can definitely see the attraction on the earlier stage, growing deeper as the plot thicken, and oh, The Scenes. It will definitely made people go flailing about. This series is divided by part, by each part have their own plot (and ended necessarily) to contribute to the main plot of the series, which is the war that magic users are trying to start. You wont feel necessarily cliffhanged, enough that it feed your fill. And goodness, do read her HS fest fics and her Paperlegend Merlin BB entry. Her Merlin BB is enthralling, with Arthur being deaf made you adore his strong, silent character, and the speech he made at the beginning of the story made me and u by all mean want to cry. It captivated me like honestly and brutally true, vivid in the sense that you thought you heard it instead of reading it, despite he being deaf, and he used Merlin's voice to deliver it. owh, and the HS fest fics will have its sequel, as a part of merlin unifest. All the fest that people in merlin fandom do make me happy person.

Her Awesome AO3 channel: http://archiveofourown.org/series/9979

now quickie update on real life. I cant draw normal chara, apparently shota pretty much self-drawn itself that i have no problem in drawing it, I found the knotting kink and oh god, it's hot as fuck, might be moving to UluKelang permanently, still hav and outrageous crush on Mr.Morgan, finished my degree with AD for the last sem only, currently slaving my brain for nursing board exam, have 4 new kitties (Oyen, Mar, Zue, n Qi and if somehow u can pronounce my bro's name in one go, blame him, suka hati je kan), my lappie being absolutely beyond repair (for now, burned motherboard and faulty screen), a :nameless: not-so-much-stalker-than-person-that-didnt-get-a-hint  owh, and did you guys noe, u can so call me zaza now?

hahahaha, laughing away.

++chepazana++

++ zaza sukeeeeeeee ++