cHepA Got Her hEad KnockeD!!!!

believe it or not, imma not a child

2012-02-07T22:28:00.000+08:00

coz sometimes every single instruction/(nasihat) that you give me made me think that you thought me as an idiot or a child.

'pah, jangan lupe lap dapur'
'pah, jangan lupa buang sampah'
'pah, air tuh mintak dilap dulu kettle tuh sebelom pah masak'
'pah, lampu tuh ndak boleh diguna'

STOP IT WOMAN!! I'M APPROACHING 23!! YOU'RE NOT EVEN THAT OLDER, BITCH!
i may look a lil bit of an airhead, but sometimes I thought that you have a worser habit than me. lugging your laundry till it pile up, than hogging up ampaian with ur laundry yg dah lama tinggal..there's a limitlah bape lama pon nak tinggal, sometimes a week nye baju kau kalah baju aku 2 minggu x basoh. but seriously, baju aku pon bukan banyak sangat pon macam baju korang. aku pakai baju semua rotate, boleh kire ngan jari je bape helai yg aku bawak..mana nak shopping baju der? makan pon sempot.

don't think i didn't notice that you ever really said that stuff to me. me seems like easy prey kan? while everyone is teasing you around wif ur laundry lah, this lah, that lah, the quiet one must be the easiest prey kan? oh seriously, dengan time management issue yg ko ade, aku x taw camne orang kenkadang tahan dengan ko. semua tuh kes sabo je. ko pon bukan bagus mana pon. bende kecik2, janganlah wat macam isu besar kan. tahulah aku nak deal my own mess. aku x kacau barang kau kan.. dude, aku baru nak letak magi lam mangok, ko dah mintak lap dapo? hape, megi aku nye kuah terpecik 100 meter ke atas ke? agak lah kan..

oh btw, stop using loud voices and high pitched gaggled voice. ada kala orang boleh terima, ada kala u just plain annoying, malam2 pon nak jeritkah? ingat kau jerit sumua orang suka? sikit2 dah lah, kalau banyak kali, ade jugak orang yg nak curah sabun dalam tekak tuh.

lepas nieyh boleh kata lak, pah tuh diam ja kejenya, apa pon x maw, asyik2 duduk dalam bilik main laptop. x mau berkomunikasi.hah, kalau aku keluar pon apa aku nak cakap ngan korang? : oh, merlin baru best shiot~: (korang buat muke telan hadap je) :uuhh, sherlock bbc not bad: (telan hadap punye muke laie) kalau aku nak join korang pon (x ajok kuar) (ala, ko x taw y yg dulu tuh, ha gini ceritenye) (crita yg nie best oowwh) :.........:
sori, xde crite jantan nak kongsi ngan korang. sebab me ish forever alone, no boys equal to losers in ur guys nye dictionary. otaku? double losers points babe. freaking fujoshi? tripled it up.

fuck, it's hard to deal with u guys. and that's the reason i dont fit in. nak crite pasal famili pon bukan kome phm kan..hukhukhuk.

just seriously, dont treat me like an idiot. i may be one, but u are not entitled to treat me just like one.

fuck off and go bugger yourself.

plays the detective games

2012-01-27T02:46:00.000+08:00

or more like, silly tittle to flaunting off my crush on BBC"S Sherlock..watch it yet?? if you haven't, IT A MUST!!

this may contain spoiler so~~~

okay, so apparently this Sherlock took place in the 21st century, well, a visit to wikipedia will help to answer lots of your question regarding this series, so I won't explain much on that regard...I'm just going to blabber off why I like it.

for one thing: Sherlock himself
Benedict Cumberbatch is super awesome here, he brought personality to this Holmes. no more those typical icon for sherlock here, u know, magnifying glasses, pipe and all that. This Sherlock wore nicotine patch, long coats and use text, net and all those technology that the new age brought on. Sherlock is eccentric, super-awesome, totally self-centric and super awesome. did I say super awesome yet? yeah, super awesome. He must be regarded with all the awesome thing in this world.

tell you the truth, I didn't finish up the whole series, i still got episode 2 and 3 of season 2 to watch but I cant just keep it in, it threaten to burst out. haha, maybe bcoz sherlock in Scandal Of Belgravia is super smexy that I can't stop fangirling. I even thought that he was romantic, in a sense of word. I do gave my respect to the woman a.k.a Irene. She may play up the ploy according to Moriarty's plan but she got gut. a dominatrix with brain, gut and looks (is nude really is ur battle dress?) ugh, I might scream myself hoarse when he bust her out bout her sentiment towards him. apparently the women likes him, and use his name for the passcode to her phone that contain formidable info.oh, for all the hetero love, sherlock, don't whisper. ugh.

I do take a pity on John, dumped bcoz everyone thought he was gay...gay for Sherlock.hahaha. there might be some bromance here, but it can't beat Merlin! (hey, bromance is a valid tactic to attract viewers, lol, women like this, and apparently woman watch tv more than man so yeah, fanservice is a must)

i didn't tell much about season 1 didn't I? I got carried away with this episode, as you can see. CSI got nothing on this, a pure revamped classic.hahaha. I'm not a big fan of crime series or anything but I got hooked.

I suffered at first trying to understand what Sherlock is saying, no subtittle, and he shooting up words like gun spewing up bullets, pardon this non-english user. I'm just starting to get the hang of it. though I would be lost again whenever he start his deduction.too fast!! hahaha, I need to improve on the language it seems.

this series can't be justified with words. just really, watch it. for all the thing sane.

let the power of scientific deduction carried you away

++chepazana++

++people die, because that's what they do, like Moriarty said++

2011-12-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

feeling lonely?feeling depressed? got no one to talk with about ur shitty life.

tunggu semua orang takde, or go behind locked door yg ade cermin, dalam toilet pon xpe, hadap cermin tuh dan cakap semuanya kat cermin tuh...at least reflection diri korang akan dengar segalanya, siap nangis sekali kalau u'all menangis. tho, ini sebenarnya tanda2 anda memerlukan pakar sakit jiwa.

on further note, being a misfit sucks so much

and i really miss the time i do my growing up dekat maahad dulu. at least i get real social life.now? even the net pon x leyh do much.

fuck my life

rambling

2011-12-12T20:59:00.000+08:00

lol, to wake up around 3.30 am every day for three weeks is annoying yo

still am a noob for almost everything yo~~ coloring, writing,baking,drawing,being a proper human = loser forever. yesh!!

thick-skinned is so not on lately -blaming the inferiority complex- there goes the confidence :whoosh:

two months and counting being drowned in BBC's Merlin fandom : tied in, with rocks and all and plop into the fandom figurative ocean: fanfics, spoiler, behind the scenes, interview, bloopers...even if someone manage to hauled me up, CPR might not be necessary..gone forever it seems

feeling guilty I'm forgetting other fandom? not really...they make me up and shape me like this..though it seems like I'm climbing some sort of invincible stairs, first it's sasunaru, then some other manga characters pairing, jumping into the mainstream yaoi, after that, hello potterverse, some drarry fic for me, oh, and i'll never gonna put aside albus/scorp, now, it's a series. preferably arthur/merlin, though seriously i'm not picky..lol, got to taste my first RPF here.lololo, so grateful of fic rec <3

social network make me feel worthless and useless and generally like an attention whore, shameless shameless attention whore who post inane stuff bout what I only noe, with no one really to share..blame me in being excited for whatever Colin did, or fic that I read, I get off on that. the small guilty pleasure? Nad who is never tired of my incessant rambling, and being a human that I can touch. and hear, and make eye contact to vent it all out (n I think this is a vice versa thing, she need to vent off too) and not some disembodiment for people who is out there doing god, i dunno. me to blame, of course, being the busy (query note here) peeps. apparently i didnt fill up my social quota nicely, the bar become red..send me some social bunny, sims creator.

dear someone, i hope your bout of relapse gone quickly..i'm praying for you
and dear someone, sorry for not following up after what happen.I'm gonna call ya after I have enough credit..I'm still in my strict budget=starvation phase
and dear someone other, I'm sorry for being such a noob that I dont really noe how to use that site to keep up and throw in some shite from the sixth pharagraph for other reasons that bear no repeating.lol.be happy, wherever you are <3<3<3

dear bloggie, i <3 you.

:rambling ftw:

:ish forever alone, in every sense of speaking, no thanks to self:

takde maknenye

2011-12-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

kalau cuba nak perang f5 kat facebook.tambah laie kalau line sentap macam sial kan..aku kejap isi nama dah on ade, pastuh ilang tetiba ganti ngan nama orang lain...cibai sungguh tenet tuh..

sebab aku taw aku antara orang yg isik awal, ko nak kata nama orang lain kat finalize doc tuh cakaplah, xkan r nama aku yg tetiba ada patuh hilang pastuh tetiba tempat tuh da penuh aku nak tambah no 13 kan? aku bukan sesedap kepala lutut aku r nak bising, aku taw group atif n adie lambat sikit kowt enter dari aku, lepas nama jaja, dah establish nama aku, kat half pc orang lain ade, kat half yg lain xde, nak kata aku salah,\? group atif ngan hadi salah? salahkan tenet, bukan salah kami semua.lantak korang nak gaduh cam kimak kat situ kan..

aku nye alasan nak gi kajang senang je, aku nak duduk umah, xde pon aku tumpang umah paman buang kat saujana utama..weyh, x semua orang cam korang, kentut kuar dwet..aku nieyh mak pak x kerja, adek aku ntah lari gi pondok mana pastuh sesuka hati kan x bagitau aku, adek pompuan aku kene hulur dwet elaun die nak bagi aku makan...celah mana nak korek dwet nak bayar sewa umah..ingat sesenang hati ke aku nak mintak dwet ngan bapak aku?hari ni mintak esok dapat...korang dapat PT full, elaun JPA pon komplain cam pukimak..weyh, ader orang dapat separuh je PT taw..korang x taw seksa nak nahan dwet yg separuh tuh camne..ko pikir aku nieyh kurus, kurus sesaje? kurus aku bersebab sial...aku dah tak terkira berapa banyak kali aku kene berlapar sebab aku xde dwet nak makan nasi..orang kat umah pon makan nasi goreng je straight seminggu, aku nak makan nasik leuk sesedap? aku ada isi perut lagi lah..

korang nak kata aku bangang ke, bebal ke, pantat ke, cakap r...aku x sanggup nak cakap ngan mak aku yg aku kene posting ntah dekat mana, pastuh nak kene carik dwet sewa advance pulak ntok umah sewa kawasan umah tu. adek2 aku tuh sekolah pon hutang yuran..sekolah rendah lak tuh..kalau alasan korang nak posting situ memang semata nak carik experience yang power, kimak r korang..kalau dah bebal, camne power tempat tuh pon bebal jugak ko.kan? lantak r, aku entittle nak broke down, kata r aku bodoh sebab nangis x dapat enter nama, lain orang lain konflik..korang x taw jangan nak banyak bukak mulut..aku sumpah rasa cam kimak bila tengok nama faresa kat situ...hoi anjing, jangan ingat aku lupa muka ko tyme tuh ye...ko dah r pakai orang tengah memula bagitaw yg kita kene berusaha ke sungai buloh, pastuh bile sg buloh dah penuh n aku ngan pauline lari ampang, ko bwat muke cam babi bakar kat situ...kenapa ko tukar hospital pulak? alasan hapa ko nak bagi? carut r perangai ko, kalau aku nak maki ko, aku kene maki pakai mulut, baru puas...perangai cam celaka..klu nak tepon balak ade je dwet, nak mesej aku suruh gi spital mana tetiba jadik muflis...kalau aku 10 hinggit boleh tahan 3 minggu, aku mmg ketawa tengok manusia kene topup 30 hengget tetiap minggu

dah r, carut betol semua ni

because I am a hopeless romantic (and not so subtle fic rec)

2011-11-28T01:30:00.000+08:00

or I quote "woo~h, gile Awie dalam sembilu, jiwang siot aku" ( not like I watch the bloody movie :shrug:)

I am all for med fic. Have I ever tell you guys that? oh well, I'm telling you now. And I'm like drowning in Merlin fandom right now that I spent almost all my waking hours reading Merlin fanfics, and I'm not going to start on exactly how many good one are out there, begging me to read it (thank god for people who did enormous recs, coz they are saviours). And I just need to vent this somewhere, and FB is not an option, and no one want to hear me rant on Merlin fandom anywhere (usually Nadz will be my victim to rant on all good things. she's considerate enough to let me blow my steam off), so here I am, blogging this out (since no one really read what I put up here) ranting on my (current) OTP

there's this fic, fandom: Merlin, pairing: Arthur/Merlin. Med AU (though the med part isn't exactly been emphasized on much). Here we got Arthur as the doctor in ED (timeline between when he's an intern up to residency) and Merlin is an ICU nurse. Am not going to put blatant spoiler here, just stating a few facts why I just love this one. One is that, I can quite relate to them working in a hospital setting, what with Merlin working at ICU, and since I'm currently taking ICU course, I kinda get it. being busy almost all the time and have little time to spare with your social life. ED is quite a harsh setting, you got to be quick and all that, and like Arthur have once reasoned out, being in public hospital is honest, where you got honest cases coming in and when you're in ED, you got to witness a lot of thing. to tell you the truth, the nastiest thing I ever saw is this wound that this patient have falling from his bike, I think a large portion of his thigh is not there..really nasty.ha ha.

this fic is a story that have all those fairytale moment yet felt so real, dealing with work that left you with little time to spend together, the insecurities of admitting to yourself who you really are, what people think of you, what your family thinks of you or just keeping those who is important close to you. all those insecurities are there and almost real, and you watch how they (well, mostly Arthur, really) took all those baby steps of learning who you really are, admitting to everyone who he really is and showing them who is the one that matter, arguing, fighting and compromise, supporting each other along the side, getting the skeleton out from where they buried them. this fic is just gorgeous. the author write so that readers are in some kinda limbo, there will be the time that you are in the present, and then swept back to the time why things in present matter to them.

I have many favourite moments there. and I can't list them all. the supporting character are also solid, there are there, but just really supporting. this is totally the fic about them both...

okay, enough with the fic. Have I relished the fact that I cried watching the last few minutes of Merlin s4e9?
oh, Merlin crying look so tragic that I cannot help but shed my own tears. ok, spoiler. I don't really care at this point, Morgana being sore that Arthur is going to make Gwen his queen (oh, Morgana, you're not the only, I assure you. I'm with you in this one) and she use necromancy to call Lancelot from the dead, sending him to trick Arthur and all that. okay, I'm just going to view in Merlin side, coz I don't care much about canon pairing. Merlin is glad that Lance is back, but God know, he's the curious sort, and he know something is not right, and Lance outed himself when he hinted that he didn't know that Merlin have magic. and Merlin did some magic test or something, and found out that yes, Lance is truly dead, and the one prancing around seducing Guinevere is just a walking corpse and he was really sad about this. The most tragic scene is the last scene where he watch Lancelot died once again (he killed himself in prison as Morgana ordered, a loyal puppet to the end, truly not his fault) and when Arthur ask for him to be given a proper burial, Merlin is the one who did it. It just like Freya scene all over, though with lot more flowers and all, and Merlin did some small necromancy in his part, waking him a few seconds from death in which Lance called Merlin's name and say thank you. oh, and after he burned the corpse, just like he did Freya, he cried. a lot. and Merlin's crying face is so heart-wrenching that you are roped in and cry along. He have the right to do so, Lance is another friend that know he's magic. Will had died. Freya also died. and now, it's Lancelot. currently he just have Gaius to help him all along. it must be lonely to be him, with everyone single person that he indulged his secret in died.

annnnnnnnnddd I'm ranting too much.

here's the fic, Shelter by Kelly on LJ. 7 parts
http://this-is-kelly.livejournal.com/346629.html#cutid1

++chepazana++

++You just have to bear with me ranting on Merlin till it finally ends.ha ha++

whinging

2011-11-25T21:11:00.000+08:00

I miss the feeling of having a crush on someone, or someone to fancy....

y ish there no ppl for me to adore n make me go thumpthumpthump??guh

i dun noe anymore....:facepalm:

I refuse to put my sig this time.

footie SEA

2011-11-19T17:16:00.001+08:00

I don't watch footie much, coz I'm not really interested in it.. the only thing I noe bout footie is that u hav a ball, and all player chase it and try to make a goal as much as possible. shoot me for that, but I think that's enough about footie for me to noe.

tho against my principle, I did watch the SEA footie game between Malaysia and Indonesia.. this is like one of the most hyped up game. It just, when u put both countries in a game, u really have to watch. It's like a principle that every malaysian have (and I believe, the Indonesian have). That night, two of our classmate from the block in front of us joined us, with two pots of tea and a tupperaware full of moist choco cake, we are pretty much in sugar-high and yell a lot throughout the game...hahaha. glad that we score a point there.

i dunno if i want to watch nother match tho.hahaha

++chepazana++

++i want to much on cookies++

edit 22/11/11

WE WON!!!!!

we jumped, we scream, we are basically overjoyed!!!!!!!! with two big pots of tea, cucur udang, biscuits and banana cake, we are overwhelmed..the game is tense, and so do us...hahaha. this is like the first game that I watch right from the start, and stick to it until penalty kick...am enjoyed doing this with housemate+frontblockclassmate... the lovely thing bout watching footie wif ur girl friends is that u can keep commenting on the player's figure rather than the game itself without being reprimanded..we keep mentioning how this player *coughmuslimandapekcough* have this nice arse, and oh god, no.28's Yong pose before he enter the field, he had us screaming like pure fangirls..utterly gorgeous pose there, right dash of sexiness. can't believe people that are so young can do great thing...oh, and Muslim during the penalty kick, adorable :squee:

tho we cant say much about the indonesian player that erm...injured his reproductive organ..he keep touching his dick without being aware that he is the camera focus.tho am sorry that he injured such vital organ..haha. we can't help but notice that Bonai hav a weird ritual whenever corner kick is concerned...hav to say that both Indo and Malaysia have good keepers..

a tense and good game, from both country..hope that there will be no sore-loser-act that come up after this..cheers

craving

2011-11-19T16:11:00.000+08:00

i always crave for something.

and right now, i crave for a chocolate..the one that priced moar than RM2...I rarely bought the one that priced moar than RM5, u noe, like cadburry's big one..bcoz i things that is an impossible price to pay..but right now, I really wish i have it in the fridge...

I WANT THAT..

++chepazana++

++a cheapskate, no matter how u look at it++

updating for the sake of it.hah

2011-11-11T17:28:00.000+08:00

I baked more in a week than I ever in life.
scouring net for recipe, and did it just for the hell of it.
should call this with something like getting-in-touch-with-your-feminine-site
let see, triffle pudding, choco pudding, choco cake..am seriously attempting to finish up Ibu's cocoa powder.
lol, hapakah.

will attempt on choco chip cookies later.for snacks to brought back to puncak alam

++chepazana++

++yes, a short post.ha ha++

bromance

2011-10-31T19:45:00.001+08:00

BROMANCE
definition: a close but non-sexual relationship between two (or more) men, a form of homosocial intimacy.

1. Make a sentence using the word bromance.
-Arthur and Merlin have the best bromance ever,umm, in a tv show?

2.give reason(s) for your answer in (1).
-because they are!! I just took sample from season 4 episode 5:his father's son

15:26
M: off again?
another week in the wilderness?
eating weird animals, being eaten by weird animals,
no hot water, no baths
This would be the last time either of us get to sleep in a proper bed
A: Merlin, I'm prepared to face all manner of horrors in this world but if you think I'm sharing a bed with you
M: (laugh) what? that's not what I meant.
A: right, good, comfort to know

this is what i call teasing (Colin, why so cute~)

30:52 (before Arthur took off to his fight)

M: Arthur, do you really think this is worth the risk? You're king now.

Camelot needs YOU....alive.

A: I don't know what'll happen...

but for the first time since I became king, I know in my heart I've made the right decision.

M: well, whatever happens out there, um...

A : you're not about to start crying on me, are you?

M: (chuckle) no. just.... good luck.

A: thank you, old friend

-shake hands, intense eye-staring, interrupting-old-fart a.k.a Aggravaine enter-

I spy; two men shake (lol,it looks like holding) hands till me, Aggravaine come in. which is too long for a proper handshake.ha ha

I really wish I have the will to put Arthur's kicked-puppy face when all his knight come and pledge loyalty to him (I miss Lancelot, T-T). I especially like this one. I called it super-cocky-face-to-shut-you-up. am not satisfied with the recipient of that look.

crooked nose? who care. I'm offering you the jaw view. see~~

hahaha. this is pathetic. I am aware that people recognized this show as one of the show that have strong bromance. I can't help it...and I'm the type of person who took all underlying action as something. staring into each other eyes to speak, I squeal. Calling names, I squeal. ridiculous scene, I squeal..I am your typical fangirl.

and it is not helping when you are currently reading this fandom fanfic.lol

i'm out.ntah hapa-hapa

++chepazana++

++can't wait for next week's episode.mcm best kan++

(edit on 1 nov 2011, 2345 hour)

another reason for why it have the best bromance. because bradley said it so..no hesitation.enjoyz, slash writers..

this is such an old clip.god.

confession time 2

2011-10-23T19:34:00.000+08:00

bila saya naik kereta, saya jarang tidor.sebab saya akan pandang ke luar dan berangan sepanjang masa.tabiat dari kecik.tuh pasal saya senyap dalam kereta.kecuali klu saya naik kereta ngan adek2 saya.kami bising nak mampos.
once, someone pernah tanya "have you ever feel like you wanna kiss a girl?" randomly dekat a few ppl. I nod.
i dont think hari raya is a festive now. i hardly feel the aster whenever it comes around. in fact, i dread it.
saya pernah makan tembakau waktu kecik2.apparently, sy muntahkan balik..highlighted by my mom.sebab saya pon x ingat pasal nie.tuh pasal saya selalu high.kecik2 telan nikotin..x main r takat sedut.hahaha
saya ada kompleks dengan lukisan saya. saya x pernah rasa ianya cukup bagus.ianya x pernah bagus.ntah bile saya nak bagus, saya pon x taw.
time saya 12 tahun, saya sangat lanky. penekanan ayat, SANGAT..saya rasa kelakar tengok struktur badan saya ketika itu. macam playwood bergerak.
no, saya x bley nampak entiti dunia asing. tapi mostly orang di keliling saya pasti ada yg boleh.
the reason i grew apart dengan my childhood fren is ncoz she grew up too fast and i am childish. still are, now.hehe
saya beli barang kaler oren sebab papa. percayalah.
saya jeles bila combi dapat kereta kaler kuning, yg boleh isi barang kat tempat duduk ye, pastu ade hon, and gagang telepon. itu mainan mahal. mana aci combi je dapat.hohoho.padan muke kene buli

++chepazana++

++tu jelah dulu.hehe++

sometimes i wonder

2011-10-19T11:42:00.000+08:00

do we really need to have boy problems just to connect? i mean generally, with girls.

sometimes, even i don't get woman after all. must u assume dat everyone have some boys-related story to talk with? obviously, if u got no boys story at all, u r d lamest person in the world. u will be as out of the loop as possible while we talk secret-code-womanly-stuff-bout-boys-dat-we-noe-or-friended-or-have-or-plain-ex.

it become worser if not only dat u dont have a boy, or a crush, or a scandal, you also got no male friend.as in friend that keep in touch with you like friends does.u'll be seen as socially-ineptitude, and borishly stupid, and a no fun.

fuck this. i feel stupid.

stoooooopid

++chepazana++

++it's a lonely world out there++

confession time

2011-10-16T23:17:00.000+08:00

Ok, confessing right away

1.I don't know much about cooking but I am very interested in craft.specifically crocheting and knitting
2. I still didn't get my scarf done, though it's been 3 weeks now (I'm lazy yo~)
3. I am VERY interested in making amigurumi right now.at least it's easier to make, have the chance of money-making product aannndd it's cute as hell. (I might consider spending money at Daiso again for felt fabric, crochet stuff and yarn)
4.Currently flailing my fangirl-self for BBC's Merlin. I stay up late, checking London's timezone, waiting links to be put up, practically squeal everytime Merlin and Arthur interact, rolling over my bed everytime Merlin smile, or do ridiculous joke, or just being Merlin.guh
5.I like Morgana, and her actress Katie. Morgana have fabulous sense of fashion, her gown, her hair, her everything. a dark sense to her presence, yet Katie like to tease, laugh and make jokes all around.
6.I still sleep with the light on at home. And here at Puncak Alam, I tweak the light of my lappie to its fullest and put it on my bedside table when I went to sleep (we switch off light here)
7. I'll pull my curtain over until I can't see the window, at night.
8.I refuse to sleep with a mirror near my vicinity. if there is one, it's for the best that I can't see my reflection or any kind of reflection there.
9.Am basking myself in ArthurxMerlin (or the other way around, don't care much at this point) fanfics.and very happy to have a long list of fic recommendation
10.Yes, I did scream a little during al-Hijab. it's more like a horrible chocked ahh that come out after you are laughing till u got tears and suddenly get shocked .am horribly embarassed with it.

ten for now, and more for later.

++chepazana++

++I don't curse much right now yeah++

p/s: confession no 11: I still didn't finish up my bloody assignment, all of it.fuck it.and ICU test next weak.and fyp proposal to hand in.and two presentations.self, go die.soul departed to hell already.night biatche

jangan bagi Pierre Andre bwat filem lagi dah

2011-10-13T00:21:00.000+08:00

I quote something that my friends heard at cinema:

"Lepas nieyh jangan bagi Pierre Andre buat cerita laie dah"

I practically regressed to 5 years old watching Al-Hijab~hiding under my shawl almost all the time the ghost made appearance (which is like at least half of the movie?) okay, to justify this, I actually open my eyes, but the shawl covered half my view, so..ummm, yeah, I watched it.

Movie review by me:

Pierre Andre sekali lagi membuktikan kredibiliti beliau sebagai pengarah filem bengenre seram. walaupon plotnye ntah hape-hape dan x brape nak masok akal, Andre berjaya menebusnya dengan membuatkan setiap adengan seram filem itu meyakinkan~ kamon, pompuan tu dan Andre agak kayu bila berlakon jadi couple, Andre macam pasang sugar daddy, since pa gf dye belikan die macam2 (Audi pon?) beberapa adengan yg x perlu diulang, diulang juga. Kudo diberikan untuk lakon layar babak horror. dye x perlu bwat CG gempak, cukup sekadar merealisasikan segala cerita yang kita pernah dengar atau baca. kesan audio yang menjadi, hantu2 style pop up jenis yg ko jumpa kat tenet. so yeah. saya rasa orang plg x kayu adalah bell ngasri and the gang, saya gelak sambil terkejut n terjerit sekali.maaf, saya terperanjat. kawan housemate saya kata hantu2 kat situ buruk sangat. housemate saya yg hijabnye agak terbuka memberi komen bahawa entiti yg die jumpa pon x seburuk itu.saya hanya mampu gelak tawar pada statement itu. kesimpulannya, cerita ini fail dari segi film berplot fantastik tapi berkredibiliti sebagai filem seram bwat takut2 orang.

saya masih tidak berpuas hati kenapa siang lambat sangat muncul dalam cerita tuh.

sekian, wassalam.

++chepazana++

++baca smut nak erase trauma.haha++

Getting sick

2011-10-09T15:01:00.000+08:00

It's like 2 or 3 years since last I got sick~lol, I dunno. I rarely got sick, but yesterday I cant get up from my bed. Felt like having a big hangover~keep throwing up~I even sleep at 10 o'clock.hahaha.

Mom scold me for not taking meds.I hate meds. I rather keep my liver relaxed and all that. I love my liver~no need to extra works bcoz of meds ~~though i did take one tab of PCM at 9 o'clock .~~ Now I have to wait for another 2 or 3 years to get sick again ( unless I get another case of food poisoning in near future).

currently reading as much arthurxmerlin fanfics that I can find. I've been meaning to read fanfics from this fandom for quite sometimes~found a list of good recs, hell yeah. at least I got new reading stuff. lol, keep lurking on this fandom like forever~go to utube and find stuff about them.haha. Merlin season 4 just make me deliriously happy. Arthur is still the biggest prat ever, and Merlin is just damn adorable~ the off-screen Merlin cast is damn adorable too. Katie is one hella fun, Bradley is an ~~adorable~~ attention whore, and Colin is the one who didn't talk much ( his accent is too thick, I can't even gather what he's talking about. Irish, like that explain much).

read this one fic, in which arthur is a fic writer on lj, and merlin beta-ing for him.total epic!!! i squeal so much reading the last line~hell yeah. though they write fics for starz's camelot~( dunno much bout this show.haha).

dude, hapakebenda yang i merapu nieyh. sorry, still dizzy lagi. my headache refuse to ebb away~haha

++chepazana++

++lotsa fic to read, lotsa stuff to do++

mak na berkata-kata

2011-10-06T19:15:00.000+08:00

meh kita mengumpat jap~hahaha.mak nieyh susah sikit nak tangkap isu2 semasa dalam colleague mak, tapi kalau dah tangkap seghonoklah mak~hahaha. tapi mak bukan nak mengumpat pasal si polan dengan si polan, mak cuma nak mengata je.

ingat ye, mengumpat ngan mengata tu lain ye nyah. x sama. ejaan pon dah lain, apatah lagi kalau bukak thesaurus edisi bahasa melayu~memang x jumpa gitu.

alkisah, hari nieyh mak memang dalam mood nak melancangkan mulut. mulut mak memang jenis lepas gitu, tapi sebab mak nieyh jenis hidup dalam ,bak kata omputih, bubble sindri, so mak nye lepas tuh x sebanyak tyme mak muda2 dulu. Alkisah, mak punya tempat belajar hari ni ade prezentesyen (aih, mak terasa cam ucopwilcha jap).nak kata hari2 mak ade prezentesyen. mak duduk belakang budak nieyh. mak besa-besa je dengan budak nieyh.yelah, x sama kutu, x sekufu.takat hai2 bye2 bolehlah.mak mana nak sama taraf dengan dye. mana nak layak nyah oii, dye anak ikan ramai, mak satu ikan pon xde kat jala.haha

mula-mula lagi mak nye telinga berbulu~yelah, dye dekat sebelah sini, dijerit tanya orang sebelah sana.."yuuuhuu, apa u pegang tuh??" macam semua orang nak dengar dye announce tanya orang~eih nyah, walaupon mak nieyh sumbat tisu dalam bra,pakai spenda ketat2, mak pon taw adab lagi taw nyah..kalau jauh, mak pegi datang dekat.kalau x leyh datang dekat, mak tunggu kejap lagi..bukan laghi pon manusia tuh..
kot mak cakap dengan muka poker face "perlukah nak jerit panggil~" o yeah. mak x taw die dengar ke x~mak pakai nada bass tyne tu ye nyah

pastuh tyme prezentesyen, minah present tuh budak baik ye nyah, pakai tudung, pakai stoking semua, ala jenis2 yang nyah nampak besa pegi sekolah agama. orang tanya die, pe dapat kalau u pandai bwat doodle, dia bagitau kawan die buat komisyen untuk doodle, tapi die gune 'he' ye nak refer kawan dye tuh. huih, pastuh mak dengar pompuan depan mak cakap ngan orang sebelah die "he?he??" gaya orang lain pekak gitu nak ulang banyak kali.ye, ada unsur2 sinis gitu.mak tengok gaya dye macam x caye pompuan camtu bley ade kawan laki.haish, naik meluat lah mak.

bukan mak sesaje nak naik meluat nyah.tapi semua orang taw dye jenis pompuan macam mana. mak panggil pompuan macam die jenis pompuan loose. pantang nampak jantan, terus basah bawah. jenis orang macam kene tabur miang buluh. mak dengar crite die dah ade simpan satu kayu, tapi yg minah ni jenis meliar biji mata.skandal bersepah..kamonlah, jantan paling buaya dalam kelas pon x sanggup nak main dengan die. x kuasa. maw laju mulut mak sound "loh, macam salah ade kawan laki" sambil buat poker face. X taw lah kalau die dengar ke x. mak dah x mampu nak kesian dengan pompuan jenis pathetic macam die. hey, mak kalau tengok die ala2 miss universe mak x kisah taw, at least entitle lah lagi nak bagi brand buaya kat die ye nyah, but puhliz, nyah, kaum kite jenis reject kat blakang jalan haji taib tuh lagi syiok taw~hahaha

tapi yang x bestnye nyah, mak still x leyh tangkap ikan.macam mana nie nyah~pompuan loose orang nak, mak yg gilang gemilang nieyh xde nak lekat.bukan apa nyah, mak x berani nak main cam budak2 zaman skunk. dah habis jiwang2 pastuh putus. mak nak yg laki yang nak bawak mak naik pelamin teros..dengan syarat mak pon suke dielah nyah.amacam~malas jugak tetiap malam minggu jenjalan kat KL pancing ikan. mak tahu le nyah tuh petik jari datang beribu..haha, jeles mak ngan u nyah.

oklah nyah, mak taw u bz.mak nak gi fapping jap. ada barang baru mak jumpa kat tenet.macam best cube.nanti mak bagi nyah pinjam ye.

p/s: pah tadi pesan kat mak jangan jahanamkan blog die.lambatlah u pah, I dah bantai ntah hape2.nasib u lah pah.

++mak na++

++glameeeerrr gituuuu++

I can't make up my mind

2011-10-05T23:02:00.000+08:00

Okay, like seriously, I'm swamped with projects and lotsa assignments this sem. Not to mention my FYP proposal.

But Goddammit, I really~ want to increase my drawing skill~And these few days I keep prowling around DA for RP groups~there's a few that caught my attention~It's because I have no real prompt to draw and my skills get lousier.And I really don't want that.October is like the busiest month ever~ there's a few RP group that are taking new enrollment right now, but I'm afraid I cannot whip out a character that's fast~lol.Not to mention, I really lack the skill to create a character..really, It's not hard to draw some random OC but when it comes to creating a character, I do suck so much at it..what to do..

on further note, I'm actually excited about our batch's project. we will commence it on 28th October till the 30th. we called it OPKIM (lol, but I dunno it stand for what, suck to be me lol). this programme is a community-based programme, in which all 57 students of my class will go to this aborigine settlement at perak. Kg Banun if I'm not mistaken. though my work really on publicity only~I'm under them, what to do lol..really looking forward to it~hahaha.do really it will go on well.It is a big project for us anyway~

++chepazana++

++I see no point for this point lol++

hong kong, u just the best lol ever~

2011-10-02T17:05:00.000+08:00

Dragon Pout Hong Kong - Hetalia Version

Dragon Pout Hong Kong - Gen. Version

Dragon Pout Hong Kong - Tea Family Version

I think the tea family meme is the awesome-est ever!! Hong Kong, u cheeky brat.LOL (especially the last one, it's epic..Iggy give u moar food, yay?)
taken from:http://hetalia.livejournal.com/11550659.html
++chepazana++++sometimes I forgot that michael is Hong's human name++

knitting??lol

2011-09-19T03:46:00.000+08:00

I think I did mention wanting to learn how to knit before this. My mom did taught me how to do crotchet (kait jarum satu) but somehow I'm not interested. Mom is quite good with her crotchet, pity she didn't have that much yarn (and she's too lazy~hehe). Hey, at least I did one stuff that resemble sarung bottle, though I stopped halfway. the remain of it is still in my room, untouched.The one that I really want to learn is knitting (kait jarum dua).

And I managed to learnt it yesterday, sacrificing my night sleep. My teacher? Youtube and the net. Today I even bought one huge chopstick so that I can practise it. It's quite simple, really. I'm the type who learn quickly by visual, so I didn't have much hassle learning the technique.still a bit awkward, lol.

I even sought an online store that sell knitting needle. found one and I put order for it. Since it was based on malaysia, quite cheap-lah. But the yarns~omaigod. x mau nak murah lagi. the site that I order the needle didn't have much choice, so I move to another site. The price is so-so, but the shipping fee made me want to muntah darah.x kuasa lah nak bayor shipping banyak tuh. tho dienye yarn semuanya tempting~aiyah~tunggu dah kaya lah~

the first project? I might want to do a garter-stitch scarf. so easy~once I have my hand on a nice yarn, then I'll proceed with it. I might buy the usual benang bulu cap nona yang banyak kat kedai. pastuh nanti I buat double work dengan basing up yarn mcm crotchet pastuh gumpak jadik satu yarn baru so that the yarn is thick enough, then baru I kait..haiih~banyak kerja tol~

biarlah saya x pandai masak, janji saya ade redeeming quality..boleh sogok bakal mak mertua pakai stuff kita kait~bolehkah??haha

my sensei: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2F6F3EC743712C11 and http://www.google.com.my/

++chepazana++

++insomnia++

coward much?

2011-09-11T16:39:00.000+08:00

I should thanks my dearest laling coz she indulged my selfish and WTF kinda request. yeah, not many people, scratch that, there would be no one, except me, asking another person to skype-ing just to ask that person "teman I tidor jap".

I BLAME MY HOUSEMATE..

Kak Qhom telah menyebabkan saya bertindak seperti kanak-kanak tak cukup umor.

So here is the reason why I scared shit last night. Starting bulan Jun, we all dah start cuti. The house started to be void of person around the middle of Jun, kalau tak silap. Around July, Kak Qhom, our so-called bapak balik Puncak Alam to collect all the bills. Alkisah, Kak Qhoms tidurlah kat umah tuh malam tuh. Nak dijadikan cerita, die nie jenis yang receptive ngan entiti-entiti misteri, kira kuat lah dye nye sixth sense. Disebabkan takut nak tidur dalam bilik, dye tariklah tilam pegi kat living room. Then dye cakap, mulalah macam2 benda buat bunyi.

My room is said to be the most 'keras' punya room dalam umah tuh. Even the tenant before us said to be aware of it, since he'd seen enough to confirm that yeah, this room quite 'oommph-gitu'. Our room punye billik memang dah closed off dah, since me n my roomie dah lama balik. Pada malam tuh, Kak qhom bagitaw my room sangat meriah. Bermacam-macam bunyi kedengaran, dari bunyik pintu tuh kene ketok dengan bunyi kelentang-kelentung macam ramai pulak menate yang duduk dalam tuh. tapi kak Qhom wat bongok luh.

Oh, saya dah bagitaw yang Kak qhom lepak ruang tamu hari tu? ruang tamu tuh memang dah kire middle room dah. apartment kan~ktorang nye kitchen ngan living room parted by one mini bar, sebelah kitchen tuh ade ruang lebih yang biasa kitorang sidai baju ngan letak mop segala bagai. that place kinda like outer balcony, and it was fully encased ngan grill. Dengan layannye, Kak qhom bagitaw kat kami sambil sedut air Neslo-nye, dia nampak ada mende main panjat-panjat kat situ. ah, layan sungguh kalau rumah anda tingkat dua bende nak panjat-panjat kan~dah malas nak layan kerenah entiti aneh, kak qhom chow rumah kawan dye.

oh, and semua mende terjadi around pukul sembilan malam camtuh. takyah tunggu kol 12, time orang lain baru habis tengok berita dorang dah yarreba~hahaha.

sambil sedut tomyam masing-masing, kitorang story lagi. lagi sorang housemate kami tinggal sorang jap kat sini waktu bulan jun, sebab nak ganti praktikal~namanye Comok. Comok ade seekor teddy bear yang amat besar. kalau letak bear tuh kat katil, ade lah dekat setengah katil tuh bear tu je yang duduk. sebelum nie, ada budak kelas dah komplen pasal bear nie. budak nie tumpang tidor katil comok sebab buat esaimen ke hapa tyme tuh. Comok balik kot time tuh. x ingat sangat lah detail dye. Okay, si budak nie tidorlah sambil pelok bear besar tuh. tengah2 peluk bear tuh, elok die dengar bunyi bear tuh bernafas. teros dye campak bear tu ke lantai, pastu lari tidor ngan Kak Mek, roomie Comok. We all diminished cerita budak nie coz Comok x nah kena, and maybe dye ngigau kowt. Then we all kene tarik balik kenyataan tersebut coz Comok pon kene jugak tyme dye duduk sensorang~dengar bunyik bear tuh bernafas. ah, sudah~~

Bilik Kak Mek ngan comok nie x nah lak tenant lu cakap hapa-hapa. Tapi sem lepas, brapa kali gak dorang kena, ada mende ketok tingkap bilik dorang. again, tingkat dua~legasi antoo karipapkah? selepas Kak Mek nampak bayangan wanita, Kak Mek ngan konpemnye bagitaw, okey, bilik ni pon angker.hehe

Bilik saya lepas diduduki oleh me n my roomie, xde hapa sangat. tapi my roomie nie prone kene kacau sehari sebelom puasa.Tyme tuh saya balik umah, so dye tinggal sensorang. ktorang tyme tuh xde bed laie, so kitorang tidor atas toto saiz queen. tyme dye tidor, dye terjaga sat, pastuh dye perasan ade orang masok bilik and tidor kat my side of bed. and bak kata die, ianya memang serupa saya, cara jalan, pakaian, etc. siap tarik selimot lagi. again, saya balik umah ye..

kalau nak cerita, sampai esok pon saya kene menaip lagi. Alkisah, kami habiskan makanan yang kitorang order, pastu gerak balik umah sewa. mana tak terngiang-ngiang segala cerita. dahlah Nanad komplain waktu dye kat situ petangnye, sensorang pon macam banyak buyik dye dengar. terpaksalah saya yang gelabah sebab nampak kak qhom dah masok bilik dye, dan takot gile nak tido, message laling sepenuh daya, suruh dye bukak skype nye video call, supaya saya taw ade orang teman saya. Dan malam tuh, sekali lagi saya tidor bukak lampu. Tanpamu Laling, tidurku x lena.

terima kaseh kerana teman saya.

++chepazana++

++x salah kan kalau kita takut?++

fandom list

2011-05-24T23:54:00.000+08:00

lol, coz we (me n laling) go nutty and want to compare list.this is MY fandom list. fandom that i ship~

Non-Yaoi Series/Stories

sasunarusasu (since i read narusasu too, so it's fair too write it like this); Naruto
HPDM ; Harry Potter
AS/S ; Harry Potter
ArthurxMerlin ; Merlin
SebastianxCiel ; Kuroshitsuji (lol for shota)
Shizaya ; Durarara
SanzoxGoku ; Saiyuki

Yaoi/BL Series/Stories

MorinagaxShouichi ; The Tyrant Who Fall In Love
KiyominexTakara ; Komatta Toki Hoshi Ni wa Kike
UsamixMisaki ; Junjou Romantica
NowakixHiroki ; Junjou Egoist <3<3<3
USUK ; Hetalia
asakiku ; hetalia
FRUK ; hetalia
Gerita ; hetalia
HRExChibitalia ; hetalia
Spamano ; Hetalia
Sufin ; Hetalia
AsamixTakaba ; Viewfinder series
TakanoxRitsu ; Sekaiichi Hatsukoi
HatorixChiaki ; Sekaiichi Hatsukoi
ShikixAkira ; Togainu no Chi
YurixWolfram ; Kyo Kara Maou

I ship almost everything that I listed till now, except for the one that i highlighted with blue.it's kinda, err, a passing attachment.tho I still squeal when i watch anything about em. haha, since Yaoi is pretty canon-ish, I ship a lot of canon then? I tend to ship pairing that certain mangaka draw. just naming a few mangaka :

Takanaga Hinako - queen of flangst
Shungiku Nakamura- queen of denial uke and gag yaoi
Abe Miyuki - queen iof BL? lol, I dunno
Minami Haruka - queen of PWP (bondage, shota, kinky stuff
Yamano Ayane - queen of badass chara

i thin i left a few coz i don't remember.lol

++chepazana++

++tired today lol++

lol

2011-05-02T19:42:00.000+08:00

what a lol things to do to ur own bro when u both are dead bored. but damn, the boy is cute.before and after~can't believe i'm eating my birthday cake watching this.

++chepazana++

++happy 22 me?++

2011-05-01T18:37:00.002+08:00

because seriously, it's like a rant. usually i update my status at fb with stuff like this but then i thought, what the hell~

hahaha, I woke up at 10 am and got my first drink at 6 pm. and not a single food get into my stomach yet.why?

it'a a way i did silly silent protest that no one notice but myself.haha, got pissed when no one touched what i cooked yesterday.silly, ain't it? it just that i came home with an empty stomach (at 6pm), with nothing on it except plain water, i walk the way from bus stop to home just to note that my housemate all bought themselves McD. oh well, fuck that. I didn't have a single shred of spare food in the cupboard.I don't have the luxury to buy any.okay, bcoz I'm pissed since no one had a decency to ask if i need anything while they bought food for themselves, I decided to cook a lil bit late (since it's my turn).

and i notice till late of night that no one touch what i cooked. well, i did eat my portion though. beggar dont have choice but to eat kan?i paid rm15 for meal yg i x tahu brape banyak kali i kunyah. hoh, maybe my insecurity dah start terok balik, i keep eating less and less here because i think i dont deserve it. like seriously dont deserve it. i keep myself locked in my room because aku rasa takda maknanya aku keluar. deme xde bende nak cakap ngan aku, aku x rasa aku layak nak cakap dengan mereka yang hebat2. aku x leyh keluar enjoy sama2 ngan dorang sebab aku kena saving duit aku.kalau x, aku kebulur.thus, aku dah out of circle and seriously dont fit in.maybe it's my fault since aku yang locked up myself dalam bilik too much, but mostly because i'm pissed lepas tu dah jadik style lak kalau aku menyampah aku x nak hadap muka orang yang aku tengah sentap. aku naik segan nak mintak tolong hatta tumpang ke kelas atau belikan itu dan ini walaupon aku sangat memerlukan kerana sumpah, kenkadang kome pandang aku cam sampah yang menyusahkan. sometimes i dont like the way that you speak like u have no sensitivity. kalau dah aku x leyh nak keluarkan dwet skunk, be a little bit understanding and try not to demand it right at the moment. mak aku buat nasi lemak je skunk okay. x kan aku nak mintak dwet sesenang hati bila orang tua nak naik patah riuk bangun tengah malam buat nasi untuk niaga?

oh god.aku takut satu hari aku cakap fuck you dekat korang.sumpah.

this make me happy today

2011-04-28T20:30:00.000+08:00

although i have to take like three paper today ( I count the osce's papers in), I managed to smile. why? it's all thanks to this

storyboard book by pandabaka.go google

it's like an early birthday present for myself. yes I consider buying myself something that is not food and priced more than RM5 is a sort of present to self. Really, I don't care if people says I'm pathetic cause spending RM 6.40 on this is totally worth it. I always want to print this one out, seeing it all nice and binded up, I just can't stop smiling since I first seeing it like a book. I keep smiling and my friends are laughing at me, saying that my blissful face is totally one of kind. eh, I think anybody would laugh if someone take an empty book, and her pencil and her eraser with this loony grin and keep staring at it without blinking for like, a minute or two, grin still on face. Oh, and I still don't put anything on it yet. I dunno, this book seems so precious to me. I am thinking of doing a BL oneshot, without being graphic and all. coz, u know, shoujo is totally not my stuff and I don't have enough will on me to do a fantasy manga.and I'm in no mood to draw girls. let us all pray that with this new story board book I manage to do at least a oneshot and publish it somewhere (frankly, I don't know many place which host comic or manga and the like. the only one in my head is smack jeeves. any suggestion?)

my 2 May plan? go to shah alam, buy myself a piece of cake, and eat roti canai, and find that bloody Pentel pencil that I've been hunting for a month now. oh, i might consider big apple...or should I buy samudra's kek pisang? I can finish the long one by myself.hmmmm~~oh, and I might hunt for knitting needle.

++chepazana++

++should I try screen-toning too?++

before i go barmy and totally lost it

2011-04-27T18:52:00.000+08:00

i want to put it up here~~~

my own to do list no matter how stupid this sound and how i noe myself work.but hey, one can hope kan?

++chepazana++

++reloading a bazooka for tomorrow test++

yay for stalking???

2011-04-19T09:45:00.000+08:00

okay, I regressed. I 've got too many free time and I decided to stalk the nextgen of harry potter. okay specifically albus severus and scorpius. pssh, u guys noe how much i adore a blond and a brunette together.heh

deciding to give you an eyeful of how cute they (the official actor) are

bertie gilbert as scorpius malfoy..i totally pwn this boy.

arthur bowen as albus severus potter. dem, y so cute????


my favourite picture of the potter kids. from left to right: al, james and lily

++chepazana++

++yeah, i ship AS/S.kill me++

yay for class doodle (18+)

2011-04-18T14:08:00.000+08:00

apparently sitting in a class that consist of presentations equal to free time to draw and crack ensues.

warning: there's some..okay a lot of nakedness in one of the picture.if it is not your type of drawing please be aware. nothing sexual in nature, just nudity.

okay, this is what i draw at the start of the class

this is what happen at the back of the same paper.yes, I'm on crack

++chepazana++
++life couldn't get any sweeter when you can doodle to your heart content++

it's 1 am...

2011-04-12T01:04:00.000+08:00

it's well past midnight and I still want to type all these stories that i just got today. and a few old ones that I'm gonna throw here.

Today, when I was at ICU for my practical session, I have a chat with the staff nurse that I'm tagging with. I dunno how we deviate to this topic but she told me that almost all the patient in bed one to bed four lodge complaint. And their complaint were similar.They say that there's a little kid playing around their bed and basically that kid will annoy them and keep disturbing them. She also said that the nurses work there wouldn't see a thing that the patient been complaining about. If there's only one patient from one bed that complaint it, they might regards it as delusion or something like that. but if two or three person lodge a similar complaint on one single thing, wouldn't it be different? plus, there are always the fact that kids under the age of twelve aren't allowed in ICU so what are kid around the age of three or four doing there?

the isolation room in the ICU lodge almost a similar complaint, but it's a complaint of a woman.

eh, and this one ain't really scary and it happen quite recently, this semester to be exact. I was staying at my uni's college as an illegal tenant for a few days due to certain event that I have to attend. We stayed at R6's prayer room. each of the hostel there was installed with a lift. And the lift is the kind that have some automated voice in it. so, as far as I know, these automated voice only said a few stuff, like (naik ke atas-going up) or (turun ke bawah-going down). I'm not sure whether it ever said which floor is it. so, it was around 10 pm-ish and I was alone, waiting for the lift so that I can go to sixth floor. when I got the lift it was empty, so I was alone there. then there's the usual automated voice saying that we're going up (naik ke atas) and yeah, naughty me are mimicking the lift sound and say stuff like (naik ke atas, pergi ke kanan, pusing ke kiri-going up, turning right, turning left) loudly in the same tone. but when I reach my floor, instead of opening up instantly it keep closed for a few seconds (more like minutes, idk, it felt like that) and the automated voice said something like (sila keluar, ada orang yang sedang tunggu di bawah-please get off, there's someone waiting at the lower ground). I don't really remember what it said but it was something like that, I was freaked out because I never heard of this phrase since I stayed hostel for a year and the door is still closed. Once it finished speaking the door opened and god knows how hard my heart are pounding. I seriously hope that what I heard is something that are really installed for the automated voice. well, one can hope right?

There are some spooky story in the house I stayed now but I didn't dare to write it. It's 1 am now and we, malays have some belief that saying that the midnight is not the scariest time at all, but when it come to 1-3 am, that's when you have to be aware and behave.

++chepazana++

++just have the urge to share++

random stuff on me

2011-04-09T00:08:00.001+08:00

my awkward 9 years old self and
lil bro + lil sis.

I've been to paediatrics ward, labor room, post natal ward, ICU, emergency department, mental institution, post natal ward, medical ward, surgical ward, orthopedic ward, neurology ward, ENT ward, obstetric ward, community clinic (specially on natal-care and children). I've never been to specialized clinic or OT.
I daydream whenever I'm on a vehicle. especially when I'm alone.
I prefer classic literature than the teensy romance novel. ~~twilight? FTW. charles dickens way better~~
I'm not big on watching drama or anime. I prefer something more conservative like manga or books ~~or fanfic, whatever~~
when I was 7, I weight 17 kg. According to my health record, that's it. oh, and I height like 132 cm?
I always prefer blonde character. ~~and I'm a sucker for peeps who got beautiful dazzling light-coloured eyes~~
I rarely get sick.
The first movie I watched was Harry Potter and The Order of Phoenix at Terminal One, Seremban with my bro and my ayunk, Bai. I was 18.
The first time I went to Mid Valley, I'm 19. That's the time when I first enter uni.
when I was in primary school, I always put my ambition as either a doctor, an accountant or a teacher. to justify these unrealized 'ambitions' I am a nursing student, which also will work in hospital, I took accounts for my SPM, and I teach my bro and sis. does that count?
the first yaoi pairing I knew and adore is sasunaru. now, the list have become slightly...okay, not-so-slightly longer.
I refuse to eat squid because I have a nightmare of them getting out from people's stomach after they eat em. I mean, everyone that eat squid at that place have some kind of seizure after they ate, and collapse, and squid get out from their stomach. I refuse to eat squid afterwards. till now.
my name was given to me by my late paternal grandma. that's why it sounds so classic. ~~seriously, zanariah? hapakah?~~
my pa called me jet when she talk wif my ma. my relatives and childhood friends call me zana. quite a few called me zanariah. and most people know me as chepa.
I came out with my pen name (kaizu deadhead) when I was 16, after I knew I failed my addmath and score B for my history test.
I'm a 3.1 kg baby, and my birth certificate number is I 109897 ~~yeah, I still remember it now~~

++chepazana++

++is that random enough?++

right now~

2011-03-29T19:58:00.002+08:00

I'm totally besotted with this show

I always wanted to watch this series but I never have the chance to do so and right now, I'm hurrying to make up most of it by trying to watch as many episode as I like.

what I like bout 'em? I dunno, maybe the relationship between arthur and merlin? their bromance is the best! I always like the way arthur insults merlin, his arrogant attitude, his bratty prince side, his chivalrous side,~~His blonde hair and his blue eyes, I'm a sucker for it~~

and merlin? I absolutely love how awkward he is~ He did many foolish stuff but he always appear cute <3 he gave the lamest answer or explanation but he manage to get it through. orz, I totally dunno why but seeing he interacting with arthur is always funny.

If I can cut this picture, morgana, gaius, Uther and Gwen will not be there. oh and just because I can put up something here

++chepazana++

++I love mordred's eyes.Am I a pedo then?++

i wish for

2011-03-20T18:18:00.002+08:00

i wish for a lot of things

but what I truly wish for right now is hot meals.

specifically pasta and lasagna. and two or three piece of pizza to boot. a vanilla shake.or those fancy-looking drink with ice cream on top of it,with sprinkles of course. a slice of cheesecake, and maybe a bar of chocolate. a blueberry cheese tart. oh, and big apple donuts. and kaya-butter waffles.and some sushi, as side dishes.and ice cream. the one that sold for RM 10 a tube.oh, throw a lipton fresh green tea for me.

give me all those, and I declare my undying love to you.

the greatest way to a woman heart is through her stomach. I kid you not!

++chepazana++

++love me? buy me those stuff++

suicidal project

2011-03-17T22:58:00.002+08:00

yeah~my current WIP artwork. looks hideous kan? I have to postpone finishing this artwork since I need to read for my mandarin test tomorrow (yet I still have time to update my blog.what the..).

don't you guys think that the color pink seems fluffy? with lotsa sweetness and all those girly feelings. planning on pink-gray kinda theme but I wouldn't say that that will be my final product.

pray that I got the will to finish this, and it wouldn't look so garish,and by the end of it, I wouldn't kill myself.

++chepazana++

++pray..for me?++

spewing crap...and art?

2011-03-05T21:10:00.002+08:00

ppl like this make me wish that i have a pro education on graphic art/design or something art-ish. i took art till form 3. i wish to take art for my spm but i have my hands full already. i have to juggle 13 subjects. (okay, at firt me n my bestie were kinda greedy, we took 14 but eventually we drop one subject, the simplest subject -tasawwur- and took bloody account as our additional subject.luckily we both bag A1 for that shit)

the tyme I seriously involved in manganime was when I'm 13. I start to draw seriously. and god, what a crap i drew back then. I don't have fren that enjoy drawing as much as I do. And i knew a few seniors that draw seriously good. But I was shy to approach em at first.i'm a shy girl, get it. I'm shy and awkward.still are, now. I have no one to teach me how to draw. but my imagination made it up for me. I daydream a lot, I draw every single day, and I read story book almost every day. and i snuck out of school to buy comics and bloody keep it hidden since comics are forbidden there. I was on roll back then. I dunno nets and sorely miss out what they offer. I'm totally shy with my artwork. duh.and so does my fren. Bai, don't keep ur drawing hidden!

when I'm at matrix, i met frens that have the same interest wif me. we draw a lot, and brainstorming become fun. I always have someone to share my ideas and drawing. and I get to know fanfiction. and fuck me, addicted to it lyke u never know. i squeal, and hola net, we met.

once I got net access at uni, I start to learn digital color. I want to know how to color better. I can see a lot of good artist with dashing skill of coloring. i pick up tutorial. i start to take more notice on how ppl blend color. and i uograding my drawing skill (which is still lacking) i wanna be good. this is something i enjoy and i seriously want to get better in it. fuck my programme, but this is what i feel at ease with. and english. english made me at ease. i mean, reading english stuff made me at ease. especially fanfiction. i don't have money to buy books but i got net to access. every single day, i would read fic. academical book is not an option. When I was in my primary school, I'm not bright in english. that's why I spent every single free tyme at secondary school reading english book.

and i write lotsa shit. enough with it. just so you wonder why the cuss, I watched shane dawson beforehand.not good.

++chepazana++

++so long, fuckers+

booyah biatch

2011-02-28T23:35:00.003+08:00

this is shane dawson.

he's a youtube star.

he may look like some emo fag, but god knows he's awesome.

minus all the disturbing stuff there ( but man, i like it)

WARNING: U MAY EXPERIENCED A BOUT OF CUSSING SEIZURE WHERE EVERYTHING YOU SPEW OUT CONTAIN AT LEAST ONE CUSS AFTER WATCHING HIS VIDEO. coz believe me, i did.every single tyme.

oh, and Shananay? that bitch is so fcking awesome, ghetto or not. XOXO

++chepazana++

++yeah, i'm watching the vids so excuse my language.i'm under influence++

congratulations

2011-02-19T20:50:00.002+08:00

to all my schoolmate yg sangat galak nak menambah list wedded peeps hamidian0206. saya sangat terkejut kerana bilangannya makin bertambah.yang dah jadik bapak sorang, isterinya, seorang skoolmate, merangkap gelaran ibu secara x langsung. waiting list jadik ibu 2 orang. another boyz dah slamat jadik hubby orang. nother one i just found out is actually taken and to be wed.when? i dunno.

those yg ade gaye cam pasangan yg dah berkahwin tapi hakikatnya tidak. better cepat2 buat majlis.hehehe

me? ntah bile.

nape cam aku rasa kita langkah bendul? does the batch atas kita dah ade yg slamat?kalau belom sumpah langkah bendul

++chepazana++

++facepalm-ing++

apa yang saya nak katakan

2011-02-16T20:32:00.003+08:00

ada x saya pernah kata saya sangat benci sama budak gedik?

atau budak-budak yg omaigod konon2nye innocent nak mampos?

atau budak2 yang refer diri sendiri guna kata ganti diri untuk 3 orang ke atas untuk refer pada dirinya sendiri?

atau budak2 yang whinging ntah hape kejadah yg sangat lameeeeee dekat FB?

atau budak2 yg teeeeersangatlah pure that kalau you guys make one dirty joke pon diorang tak dapat tangkap?

or diorang akan konon2 nye marah pada u guys sebab u bwat dirty joke?

atau budak kampong berlagak lebih dari budak bandar?

adakah saya racist? saya bukan racist. saya tidak menyebut hapa2 race dalam post ini. walau saya ade prasangka buruk pada mereka, tapi saya kenal beberapa orang yang okay. yang lain, boleh pegi mampos.

saya x paham akan insan2 yang dunianya hanya restricted to dey all nye so-called buah hati or skandal2 murahan.diorang boleh tukar2 laki macam tukar2 baju. diorang merengek semua bende dalam fesbuk. hari2 diorang kene chat dalam msn or yahoo. kurang2 topup kene tambah 2 kali seminggu.hey, we all kan busy women, ade man yg kami kene balas sms setiap waktu.

saya x paham kenapa diorang kena advertise dorang nye kisah cinta kat fesbuk. oh, saya paham mereka dalam kehangatan cinta, tapi bukankah baik untuk kita bersikap sederhana? pernah dengar private message (PM) ? nak saya ajar guna macam mana?

oh, and i really have to mention. guys, sila jangan letak gambar separuh nude kamu dalam fesbuk.ianya menjengkelkan. atau gamba yang kamu rasa sangat sexy. kerana ianya menjijikkan. unless kamu aaron aziz. saya x kisah. somehow gambar2 itu kelihatan ghey. hey, i don't judge. sapa saya nak judge.if u prefer some solid sausage meat dipped in mayonnaise, oh, i think we got something common there. hahahahaha.apakah?

kamu x paham apa yang saya katakan? oh, maafkan saya. dunia saya adalah manga dan anime. saya akan kata saya otaku tapi saya bukan. saya more to fujoshi. hence the reason i don't judge. my friends? they all are wacko. and they dare to categorize me dalam perv nye golongan, walaupon dorang tuh sama jerk. saya tahu sebab PM saya dan teddy begitu 18++. saya banyak gune bahasa omputih.sebab dulu2 saya bodo omputih. saya kene tanya budak cina yg duduk sebelah saya untuk translatekan apa yang cikgu cakap.sekarang saya dah pandai.so, saya nak brag.hmmph. istilah omputih yg anda x paham? again, saya dari cult manganime. x paham sudah.ade yg bolh paham saya cakap hape.

++chepazana++

++post kat fesbuk bwat saya nak tulis gini++

saya seorang penghisap untuk ... (sila terjemah dalam bahasa inggeris sebaik mungkin ayat demi ayat)

2011-01-15T21:55:00.004+08:00

yeah, letak r hapa2 fandom nye pairing, kalau dat pairing involve with some sort child to deal with (adopted, own child from previous association, godchild, mpreg, cauldron baby, potion mishap, come from the future kids, and yeah, hatched from a magical egg) i'm a sucker for that kinda story. this also applied in taking care of one's rival nye child.

in conclusion anything that involve current pairing yang i bace with their so-called-child.

ya,saya sangat suka tema famili.

excuse me, saya nak bwat gaya tonic-clonic nye epilepsy sambil berbuih2 mulut menjerit kebahagiaan.sekian.

++chepazana++

++who the f yg sorok medication saya hari nieyh?++

empangan, dalam bahasa inggeris dan disebut menyerupai satu kata sumpah

2011-01-14T14:17:00.003+08:00

I seriously consider to tell myself to fuck off.

so yeah I have some inferiority complex, a so-not-healthy dose of paranoid and whole ego shit going on, ignorant, liking my solitude too much that i might as well be a hermit,thinking too much about my wallet,lack of confident and pessimist.

burdening you with my insecurities,ladies and gentleman.

++chepazana++

++eh.....+

this is win

2011-01-08T21:06:00.001+08:00

this thing here, it's epic

Pok'ebra by ~szmoon on deviant ART

can i say i want one too

:goes n hide:

++chepazana++

++ppl thought o weird stuff++

on kuroshitsuji:sebby

2011-01-08T00:27:00.002+08:00

oh-kay. so i got bored during mandarin class and i can't risk sleeping in class so i draw. somehow i sketch sebby.now, i have a little quiz for you. did you notice anything weird with this picture and the difference with the second pic?

and now, i point out what i want you to notice.

as you can see, silly me had drawn sebby totally out of proportion. and i got panic.and thank god i remember that there's a solution to this out-o-proportion's problem. it's PAINT TOOL SAI.i open the file on sai, resizing first the size of the head and then the body. but the thing is that this is the first tyme that i use this particular function so the result turn out to be awkward. i try my best to salvage it but i don't know what can be said for the final product here

kuroshitsuji: sebby by ~kaizuDeadHead on deviant ART

i think i overdid it.god, who care?

-pfft.sebenarnye den teruja nak guna pensil kayu yang diasah dengan sharpener besor (jenis posing2) tuh yg sketch pon pencilling je pon.

++chepazana++

++jenis manusia cepat teruja++

spouting out idea

2011-01-03T15:32:00.001+08:00

eh,i'm actually thinking of opening up commission amongst my school fren etc etc etc. but i didn't really have a decent sample, yet i need the money so that i can support myself and not relying on my parents money.and i can't think of what should i commish. should i do sketch, or inked illustration, or colored one? or maybe chibi? eh, come to think of it, i never draw consistent chibi.

i seriously need to think this throughly.aigoo

and start doing portfolio and examples.

:facepalm:

oh life, why must you suck so much.i don't want to go to starvation mode so early at the sem.

++chepazana++

++reflecting and brainstorming++

let us talk regarding...

2010-12-04T22:15:00.002+08:00

men in (ktm's) ladies coach

-personally i think that they are either blind, too stupid to read and understand the big bold pink notice or just don't have enough balls to go at their respective coach. pun definitely intended

fb link on dream hubby, good man should... etc

-personally i think that they just have to stop looking for unrealistic dreams and ground their feet to something solid and face it, life isn't what is it. sumpah den naik jelek tengok komen macam "omg so sweet~" "oh, laki seperti ini lah dicari olehku" coz i think that ppl yg comment like that seriously need life, even more so than i do. and that is saying something

sore throat and cough

-it's annoying.even with the super-duper creamy big delicious yummy vanilla McD's ice-cream it won't heal. but it soothe it for a while. just wait till it get worser,tomorrow perhaps? aww~

harry potter 7 part 1

- a total awesomeness, watched with and equally awesome buddies, with humongous size pop-corn, and newly-bought hand mitten, with o-god hpdm fanservice, a disturbing image of both voldermort and dumbledore (it look like a part from yaoi manga), ron being a sweet chara, laling's sudden obsession of talking bout bulu dada, and the whole lot more. it's bloody awesome

++chepazana++

++can't think much due to fatigue and cough++

cerita dongeng

2010-11-21T14:56:00.001+08:00

hatta AntarA selang tiga pat lima bulAn..maKa dipAnggilNya SultAn kerAjAan negeri berdaulat itu akan panGliMa terhandalnya, PanglIMa BawaNg. Adalah diketahui SekAlian penduDuk di Dalam negri itu akan kesaktian panglima terbilang itu…telah disaksikan sebahagian penduduk negri baGaimana gAhnye BeliAu menumpaskan angkatan tentera gelap dari benua omputih deNgan hembusAn nafasnye yang berbau bawang puteh itu…maka, berdecitlah anak-anak buah Van hellsing dek takut deNgan bau Yang teramat kuat itu……sumpah, Van hellsing tidak kan membawa tentera draculanya menyerang tanah melayu ini..

maka datang menghadap ke atas duli tuanku si laksamana bawang…maka selepas diangkatnya sembah kepada orang tua bermisai lebat itu, maka titah tuanku "hai laksamana bawang..adalah hari ini beta memanggil kamu mengadap adalah tidak lain dan tidak bukan tetapi untuk menyampaikan satu berita gembira".maka bergegarlah balairung seri itu dengan gelak tawa baginda umpama ketawa syaitan mendapat habuan…maka, dengan Segala sopan santun dan maki hamun di hati…panglima mengangkat sembah..

"ampun tuanku beribu-ribu ampun….apa gerangan khabar berita yang tuanku ingin khabarkan pada patik yang pacal ini?"

lantas baginda tuanku duduk di atas singgahsana beliau yang nampak sangat penuh dengan pembaziran… "akan kukahwinkan dikau dengan puteri sulongku atas jasa baikmu pada tanah ini.." maka, terkejutlah panglima itu…….dicatatkan di sini apa yang terlintas di hatinye…..

={ THE HELL???!!!! he’s not really going to marry me with thatprincess???oh come on!!this old man is insane!!!princess,my ass!!!!she’s not even worth to be call a girl….what with the bulky masculine figure that she have?plus that so inhuman voice and brute manner…and what’s more with the beard???omg….i’m totally screwed up!!!!!}=

namun demi mengenangkan orang tua bangsat itu pemerintah negara itu….lantaran bersetujulah panglima itu di atas permintaan yang macam haram itu daripada baginda….perkahwinan meriah diadakan lantas mereka hidup seperti mana seorang suami dan isteri yang lain hidup…..namun….adakah ini satu pengakhiran? atau mungkin satu permulaan????

++chepazana++

++this is something that was written before++

huwau~~~

2010-11-09T20:52:00.002+08:00

i wanna date!!!

but i can't take papa to date with me. papa can only date daddy.daddy only.and no one else.nu uh.you hear? papa is exclusively for daddy.

then that leave me with.......TACHEEE!!! COME WE GO ON DATE~~~~woohoohoo. we eat a lot, and do stupid stupid stuff. we stalk your little brother and that cute little blonde of his. o yeah~~

fuuuuuuuuck

i need to stop reading fluff, and flangst and ~~read naru!harem or naruxothers~~ be true to only sasunaru

scratch dat

2010-11-02T03:21:00.001+08:00

KUROSHITSUJI MUSICAL 2 MADE ME HAPPY!

IT MADE ME SMILE WHEN I WENT TO SLEEP!!

OMO, I LOVE IT SO MUCH~~

eXXXam

2010-10-29T18:26:00.002+08:00

it makes people go crazy

even makan still pegang note nak study

sometimes konon nak break n lepak tengok tv

omigeezers, u stuck dekat 2 jam depan drama hari ini

i see my notes and i naik gelabah

huh, banyak lagi yang i x geledah

i salin nota x sudah-sudah

at last fius i putus and i think i goreng saja sudah~

exam, ko buat aku naik setan

ngapa nak apal nota macam load muatan 8 tan

kalau ade roti tekap doraemon dah lama aku makan

tapi doramin tinggalkan aku g honeymoon kat taiwan~

aih, setan~~

otokke??? -contain too much hetalia ramble-

2010-09-21T01:16:00.004+08:00

i can't make up my mind!!

I use to really ship usuk before, though i still like gerita. but then somehow, sometimes, GerIta overshadow USUK~not to mention the tears that fall when i read this pairing doujin, it almost the same amount wif usuk. when they make the chibitalia arc into anime i really ship hrexchibitalia~they got the saddest story..ever! though feliciano got ludwig when he grow up. but then when spain oyabun and his cute lil henchman arc is out i couldn't help to think that "ah, oyabun, romano, why so cute~~buuyoo"

seriously, with hetalia you can't really stick to solely one pairing. I used to ship asakiku before usuk but then suddenly asakiku got shadowed by usuk. it's quite rare for me to ship both blonde partner but well. come to think of it, i don't mind iggy being paired up with whom. there's some fruk stories that r quite good. esp when the dysfunctional family is in the picture.lil!america and lil!canada is so cuuuute~buuyoo~

then come the romaheta vid that i watch on utube~ROMAHETA!!!WHY SO EPIC!!! i mean it! it totally epic. I can understand why it got so popular in japan till the maker have to stop it, just so that the game wouldn't outshine the real series. to think something that a fan made can get this high recognition. though the game is done by amateur, the plot of the story is totally cool~game program got error (all kiku's fault, that otaku.tho i can understan his desire) and bla bla bla. the particular player choose Al as her main chara and the story progress on from there, gaining EXP and weapons, cure all infected person from error. the Holy!Italy brothers is totally awesome. meh, i'm really weak when feliciano show his melancholy and serious side. i got goo-goo if i saw him like that.he in that state is total moe~ah, and you must like Ivan in this game.that yandere sister of his, also cool.there's quite many good romaheta MAD vid at utube. aaah~~so many idea pop up when i was watching this.eh~ i think i might doodle a few. I really want to draw Holy!Italy but the cross~eh, i find a way so that i don't have to draw em.

i am in so much passion when i write about romaheta i can't stop. here let me try to give some MAD vid to this game

this vid is a little light with emotion but it portray some important event in the game.game goes error, chara flood in 2D world, the bad trio kicking up some ass (triangle attack FTW~) etc. but it only goes up till they have to destroy error so called power source.

this one is appealing to you if you have watched the game vid. lean a lil bit on the emotion side. though liecht's word to natalya when they're in Ivan (whatever that mean) was very touching~ liecht, you're the little sister that everyone want.omomomo

help me decide~~what to do~~hetalia got so many new chara popping up~aiyo~should i just ship every pairing??i think i should?? yeah, i should.let's not restrict our choice and enjoy.more fun with the pairing.yeah, since my doujin collection consist variety of pairing, IMMA SHIP ALL PAIRING. SLASH OR HET, BOTH ARE WELCOME TO BE SHIPPED BY ME!! ♥ ♥ ♥

f*ck, i ramble too much.is it because all the kueh raya give me too much sugar and get me hyped up?ee~~h, maybe coz the vids i watched non stop. test tomorrow will be damned. for only a litt...lot of tyme tho.

++chepazana++

++papa n daddy is still my OTP, no matter what++

random facts...about me

2010-09-09T12:07:00.003+08:00

1."Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when chepazana gets too hot.

2.chepazana make onions Cry.

3.chepazana died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell her.

4.chepazana does not "style" her hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

5.When chepazana goes to out to eat, she orders a whole chicken, but she only eats its soul.

6.chepazana doesn't go on the internet, she has every internet site stored in her memory. She refreshes webpages by blinking.

7.chepazana eats a bowl of diamonds every morning.

8.If you spell chepazana in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

9.chepazana once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made her blink.

10.When chepazana wants an egg, she cracks open a chicken.

++chepazana++

++i hate people who nag++

2010-09-01T01:59:00.002+08:00

If they have given me the role as an ignorant useless bumbling head who is so irresponsible then I'll gladly assume the role. thankyou.

hidup yang penuh suprise

2010-08-28T23:37:00.002+08:00

come bebeh, we all buat entry ala2 coretan hidup. bukan selalu kowt. den kalau dah start nulis Bahasa nieyh alamat grammar semua tunggang langgang. jangan harap ada selitan simpulan bahasa mahupun peribahasa kali ini. Kalau Puan Zubaidah, cikgu BM den tyme skolah dulu baca entry nieyh musti kepala die posing. ntah camne anak didik die semua bahasa malaysia buleh lulus. Once masuk uni jerk, semua tunggang langgang. takde semblance langsung dengan hapa yang dah diblajo di sekolah. dulu kalau suruh buat karangan BM lepas r laie nak siapkan dalam masa 2 jam dua muka surat setengah. belum campor manusia spesis eager ya amat buat ala2 novel sastera karangan fakta tuh, la ni, cuba hangpa suluh bagi kat budak2 uni suruh buat karangan biographi diri sendiri, belum tentu struktur ayat dan grammar depa betul. semua lingkup.

And..apa kena mengena suprise ngan entry kali nieyh? den pon x taw. kowt nampak cam sedap nak letak buat tajuk entry aku bantai r letak. huh. aku dah terkejut gaban dah minggu lepas kawan sekelas aku tyme aku f5 PM me dekat Fb saying that she's getting married this september and the reception event will be on disember. tuh lagi haru, angin takde ribut takde, malah monyet atau king kong pon xde, alih2 pokok bergoyang. 5,6 kali den tanya betui ke idok.dah sampai seru~biorlah.janji eko bahagia bersama ye. bebudak batch pon kan kemain bahagia jadik auntie n uncle x official baby aleesya (anak incik halim sama puan ezi). xde anak sindri, anak orang lain pon jadik r. tumpang rasa megah sekali.hehehe.

tyme raya nieyh ingat nak jumpa ngan cewek beta, baiduri (wajib ketemu setiap cuti sem), my dear ted (our dvd dah sampai.QAF.all five seasons~so gonna have fun watching those blasted series) and dearest laling and kyoko, kalau buley. aku maw jumpa sama ana juga, sama raj, sama bebudak sekolah yang rasa cam nak ngadap muka aku laie. kalau agak dah dekat pat lima taun x jumpa aku saya nasihatkan jangan buat gaya teddy a.k.a. cik zaity murni sulaiman. dah elok aku dok lambai die dari jauh boleyh die datang and tanya aku ngan musykilnya "ini sharifah zanariah ke?". dey, xkan aku boley tetiba tukar jadik paris hilton kowt. huk, tyme aku terserempak ngan atiq azman lu tyme kat ampang aku kene perhati die semayang sampai abis.dua tiga kali die lalu depan aku wat dek.aku tengok gaya dah sebijik da cam atiq zaman sekolah lu,once aku panggil baru die maw sapa aku. hazirah zamri je ku ingat die tegur aku lu.dekat sacc mall tyme tuh.aku pandang die, die pandang aku.then die sebut nama manja intan payung aku "cik pah ke?" alkisah jadik r cerekarama sekejap kat situ.

kesimpulannya, kalau nampak manusia muka cam sharifah zanariah,try2 r tego. aku taw aku dah x seselekeh dulu namun beta tetap beta. u all kalau jumpa manusia muke cam aku kat kedai buku @ komik sah r tuh aku.xde lalinnye.kalau nampak perangai die spastik semacam depan buku pastuh die bercerita ngan semangatnye ngan orang sebelah die, sah r tuh aku.nak kuatkan lagi dakwaan anda, sila curi dengar perbualan manusia rupa iras2 aku tuh. kalau ko dengar ayat camni: "u noe, last i tengok papa die nye series daddy x kuar laie.dah bace fanfic baru? ah, taw x ader madvid?u should listen to len's new song. n got a lot of doujin bersepah merata kat disk srive i....." see, anda mungkin x paham bahasa apa yang die cakap namun ianya adalah bukti bahawa anda jumpa sharifah zanariah yang sebenar,tahniah. saya cakap tak pernah masok akal.

sekian, assalam.

apakah?

++chepazana++

++what the??++

2010-08-23T17:14:00.002+08:00

I'm not a child anymore.

I would not let the past haunt me.

and so does the Present.

no matter how terrible it can be.

if this is what people said running away from reality

I don't care

I wouldn't run

if not for the fact that reality suck so much

that it disrupt me

I try not to shed tears alone

and I try to bring them out of the mess

once I garner enough strength

I try my best

to not be a fucked up adult

a month before eid: the ramadhan

2010-08-11T20:25:00.002+08:00

ramadhan, a much awaited month. since this is the month before eid, where people celebrate and have a good time of it. all the fasting done in ramadhan really make eid a beautiful day to celebrate. but ramadhan is one of the nicest month that the hijriyah calendar have.it's a month for everyone.

yes, fasting can be really tiring especially when you have the day full of lectures and classes to attend. not to mention the sudden burden of lots of assignment and all procrastinated works waiting to be done. not to mention that ramadhan fall just right in the middle of the semester, where lecturers all rushing to cover up their syllabus, all the missed class and giving assessment. it's taking a toll to your mental and physical state. plus, once you get home you got to prepare all the food needed to break the fast. here comes the hectic in the kitchen. with bawang to potong, cili to blend, sambal to make, kuih for dessert. sometimes you don't even know what to cook today.

try to go along the road of your neighborhood, on foot during 530pm to 7pm-ish. you can smell different food from different house. just now, around 7 pm i just get a sniff of cempedak goreng, one of my fav kuih.the sweet smell of it~yum. of course when you talk about ramadhan the food that only exist during ramadhan come into your mind. kuih samosa, kuih pelita bulan, all type of nasi kerabu, murtabak. try to visit one of the nearest bazaar ramadhan, it's like a small food festival was held there. yet today i didn't get to visit one at all. i even don't have nasi to eat when i break my fast today. not even a kueh.just my favourite lipton's green tea. and a piece of chipsmore. my headache is killing me. only managed to eat maggi goreng, side dishes are fried egg and 3 piece of udang goreng kunyit. too pissed of to a lot of thing maybe.and my headache, again.

still having my headache.thus i don't even make sense of what i post today. i got to think for tomorrow's menu.it's my turn to cook tomorrow. should i just make sardin masak kicap, some fried udang and telor and of course sayur goreng, resipi ehsan ayang saya, cik noorbaiduri shaibani.nama penoh laie tuh i letak kat u taw.

and somehow uul got to say something on my behalf and i got back half of what i share for barang dapor. guys, i'm sorry for being a picky eater but i can't help it.say whatever you like but i never complain if i can't eat what i usually have.seriously.if u didn't cook my type of food, i keep quiet and eat my own food.just the kuah and nasi.not that i gonna die kalau i x dapat apa yang i x dapat.i makan lauk kosong.actually sangat senang nak jaga i.macam jaga kucing, u guys sumbat ikan.bagi nasik.ada kicap.satu jenis sayor i x sentoh so beli jerk ntok u guys.i even brought my own udang datang. tapi you guys guna lah klu u all nak masak.bukan i nak makan sensorang pon.janji tinggal sikit kat i. x yah bayor.halal.kongsi r makan.cam x bese.jangan kate aku x syukur.aku wat hal aku.tengok, tetiba aku emo pastuh tulis mende takde kaita.takpe, bukan ada manusia sangat yang follow blog aku nieyh.ye, ketahuilah manusia.saya macam kucing kalau nak jaga.ngehehe.

++chepazana++

++have to stop writing or else jadik lebey emo++

++listening to:rock kapak at sinar.fm++

latest project

2010-08-01T00:07:00.002+08:00

the last one is vocaloid fanart.

this tyme it gonna be ciel and alois from kuroshitsuji. i don't think of the color scheme yet.i can't even picture how this lineart will end up be. the lineart is kinda messy since i'm trying my newly-developed pen which evolve from pen mata tirus to pen mata khat.it's hard.really.instead of changing pens with others that have finer size, i have to control my grip and my flow.so screwed up.consider this as experimental piece. both lineart and color wil be experimental in this. alois's smile is so hard to draw that i almost gave up drawing him.

may i have the will to color. this gonna take me the whole day.

kuroshitsuji belongs to toboso yana, one hell of mangaka.

++chepazana++

++considering the idea of sleeping at 1217am. still early meh++

i got bored -R15-

2010-07-21T00:41:00.004+08:00

so i'm gonna rant on shits here. i ain't got nothing to do and i'm outta my mind. i don't know why but i really want to use lotsa improper and crude language in this post.so warning ahead, that this post ain't for you untainted virgin mind or whatsoeva. i didn't expect that many people clicking the fucking link on my profile at FB or you memorised this site. no bloody way you guys gonna do shit like that.

and so, i have an epiphany to write in my blog.what else to do? i've done my daily chores of cleaning my DA account and playing the effing game at FB. and i roam around to watch anime (currently following kuroshitsuji 2,uraboku, and hetalia) and the shitty fanfic site that only got updated like once in a full moon. no new chapter was up for komahoshi, fucker.i've been waiting for that shit to come up since january.and i lost the link to where i can read kuroshitsuji and god knows why i am so partial to blonde.why do i need to really be partial to them? it's not like i can find a single person here in malaysia. it's fucking impossible. why is it so hard for me to look away from a blond character?? and those hunk that got this fancy eyes color, and oh god, yummy abs. and why the fuck do i have to watch a show like that? or go to that site? fuck those who taught me, but god, i love you guys for that. now, why the hell, really, that i can stumble upon this series. i'm not even done yet with the one that got this loads of romance and fluff in the air but then i found this one that apparently focusing on sexing up another guys right through the weekend and then the unwitting daily questions of life being arouse throughout the series~the us series was quite bold. i'm gonna find the uk version and compared this two series together and have fun watching guys.yummy yummy guys.

oh, and a very potter sequel gonna come out on youtube this saturday. crowds are getting impatient waiting this so fantastic things to come out. i'm not supposed to hold high hope in case i dissapoint myself when i watch it but i cannot help it.this shit, it's fucking awesome. i'm so laughing my ass off when i watch the first series. i'm at the point where i can re-enact every single shit that they spew out of their awesome mouth. And i just found out that you can actually fake your ass with this ass-looking thing snugged inside your cloth,ok more like your pant.and your crotch too? (for man, women got their breast looks bigger by position,push-up bra and extra padding)

now,sleep tight asshole

++chepazana++

++feeling just the tiniest bit of bitchy today++

tahi lembu jantan

2010-07-11T01:04:00.003+08:00

I'm not cut up for any movie that contain death scene.especially the one that involve accident,killing and the like. I dislike movie that have things go boom and there's super gun to shoot the enemy with this super cool pose. I don't like movie that the character play with other's life like it's some shit. I hate horror film that involve lotsa bloodshed. Film that contain how easy people die but just slipping on the road and got hit by car.

I HATE IT

I TOTALLY HATE IT

i'm gonna cry

++chepazana++

++choco didn't work this time++

a bit on kuroshitsuji 2

2010-07-05T01:13:00.002+08:00

WARNING:CONTAIN SPOILER (for those who hadn't watch it yet)

seriously the whole tyme i watch that series i kept frowning at my own screen. Alois is totally on different level from ciel. that brat are like totally lose screws up on his head (might due to circumstances that are quite disturbing at the start of the episode). his clingyness,random mood swing (bipolar maybe?) want some glittering BL awesomeness? don't worry,Alois and Claude can provide it all~those two...ok this is my personal view, i mean BL is awesome, when the fandom give only subtle hint of it,but if it was blatantly use as fanservice,is not really that awesome anymore.seriously.

i think the episode get to its awesomeness level when sebby came. though he wearing a long high-collar trench coat and a hat that almost cover his eyes, you can still detect his sexiness pouring out of him, carrying his beloved master in a big trunk,apparently want to find something at the basement of the Trancy mansion. okay guys, the main point here is that we're not gonna lose our awesome sebby and ciel. i was afraid of that actually.

now,kuroshitsuji off topic, laling called and told me she left her lappie.i pity her.ha ha.

++chepazana++

++still frowning++

the blessed stumbling

2010-06-30T18:22:00.003+08:00

that girl have so many dreams

and most of it are far-fetched

she dreams of a good ending

or a lovely fairytale story

she knew life was harsh

so she root for her dream

she set up her sight

up to the wide sky

as ignorant as it seem

there, lay all her dreams

never then she set her view to the ground

one day, she stumbled

knocked off by a painful reality

her eyes that never set upon the ground

she see it for the first time

her dream she sees

right across her standing

it was like a blessed stumbling

she then realized the wrong in her doing

if she lower her gaze

and broaden her view

in the reality she find the true

++chepazana++

++after this the omake++

OMAKE

alkisah poem ini diilhamkan oleh diri saya yang asyik pandang kat bahagian atas pokok mata kucing di rumah saya, dengan harapan adalah sebarang dua biji buah yang boleh dikunyah~alih-alih,ntah macam mana saya TERpandang bawah dan TERnampak rimbunan mata kucing kat bahagian tepi pokok yang alahai dekat giler ngan tanah~betapa saya rasa bengap sekejap.tapi buah tuh x masak lagi~hadoyai

hari guru dedulu (2006)

2010-05-18T21:38:00.003+08:00

ah, nie ala2 mengimbas kenangan lama r nieyh..exkyus mi, saya nak rant macam orang tua. opcoz, klu cakap pasal ari guru the most memorable one would be the one that when i'm form 5. eh, preparation hari guru tyme tuh involve satu batch kowt, bukan takat kp jerk.habis dibantai segala keringat kitorang nak wat mende alah tuh. tido lambat semata jerk. eh, dalam satu bulan tuh, kami bwat kes beramai2 (5/5) pastuh pk 1 (puan abidah konchong kah?) kowt tyme tuh bersara the day after hari guru. aku pon x ingat sangat.

alkisah den dah x ingat dah biler dorang start issue order ntok prepare hari guru but after that sumua orang busy. kowt setiap manusia lam blik study tuh ader keje memasing. klu x silap aku, aku masok group hias pintu dewan. kowt kebetulan tyme tuh bilik study tengah giler bwat origami crane. jenuh nak wat crane tuh beramai. kredit kat raihana sebab bagi kitorang buku citer dier yg ader cara nak wat crane. kitorang ikat crane tuh dalam 4-5 ekor satu benang then we hang kat pintu. malam nak hari guru tuh sedikit haru nak siapkan dewan. budak2 backdrop laie hantu nak wat keje.kowt semata nak menampal petak2 tuh.lambat gak r balik dorm tyme tuh.budak dah berkrioh baru kami menapak polang.

waktuh tuh, kami sebagai senior kuasa paling atas sekali telah mengissue order pada anak2 riang junior terchenta kami, "kome x dibenarkan pakai baju kaler ijau nanti. kami semua dah chop dulu" hahaha. nak wt citer, taun tuh kami ndak wat t-shirt batch. kami bantai beli kain ntok satu batch bwat baju. trima kasih kepada bebudak yg tinggal kat klang n gi carik kain bundle itu. lantas tyme hari guru tuh, para form 5 bley nampak ngan gemilangnya pakai baju kaler ijau. yg mane x siap wat baju tuh pakai baju bese kaler ijau. peraturan ini hanya diaplikasikan pada pelajar puteri sahaja.

aku dah x ingat dah kitorang watper dulu hari tuh.yg aku taw perhimponan pagi ader cam biasa. uh, klu x silap start ngan sukaneka kowt. aku da x ingat pe sukaneka yg kitorang bantai kat situ. aku ingat ader pertandingan wat roti canai yg paling bergaye skali. lawan antara guru ngan murid. acara demo wat roti canai dijalankan dengan menjempot abang bangla dari kantin pak wan. alkisah ada r junior putera nieyh, teramat bergaya dia muncul, siap pakai topeng laie.tapi die yg paling style wat roti canai. and then x lupa pade acara hias kek oleh para cikgu lelaki. adakah ustaz solah yg kuar g 7-E kat sebelah semata nak bli hiasan tambahan. koat depa letak chocolate ferrero rocher atas kek tuh. dengan whip cream segala, wallualam~walaupon kek tuh nampak cam x lalu jerk tapi still edible. aku dah x ingat sangat yg lain, ader kowt sukaneka lain yg involve student ngan cikgu, buat baju lah~~kejadah laie. aku da x ingat sangat.

lepas rehat baru kitorang gerak gi dewan ntok main event. dibwat nye kami beratur di sepanjang jalan sebelom sampai ke ke dewan~ala2 perarakan gitu~once depa masok dewan kami dok sembur depa ngan cebisan kertas warna warni n also belon bli tyme outing kat kajang. sekali lagi kami guna kuasa veto senior kami ntok duduk kat depan skali, blakang chekgu2. vip seat kan. yang den ingat tyme tuh mustilah lakonan bebudak putera.kowt aku gelak sampai kuar air mata. cikgu yahurin depan aku laie best. siap pas tisu kat orang sebelah bwat lap air mata. x abis gelak babak nieyh aku dah terburai gelak ntok babak lain. eh, personal favret aku babak sambutan di india. suyut yg paling ngetop skali, skunk bebetol kat india wat medic..hehehe.irony sungguh.lepas tuh mende ntah kitorang wat, ader acara dari cikgu2 n penyampaian hadiah kowt. tyme balik tuh aku tengok burung2 origami kitorang makin sikit. ah, teacher shaz laie best, siap tanya kitorang bley amik ke x burung tuh. "nak bagi kat anak kat umah" uhuk, tyme tuh memang bahagia tapi penat x yah cakap oh~hehehe

skunk aku da sampai da x taw r bebudak batch aku menghilang ke mana. bertabur merata dunia.aku tulis mende nieyh pon pakai bantai ingat jerk.kowt ader yg salah x taw r. aku xde bli cd sambutan hari guru tuh. aku gegila nak copy mende alah tuh ngan manusia yg ader tapi aku x taw sapa yang ader mende alah tuh. kowt sesapa yang ader bagitaw r den, xde pon send jerk fail tuh kat gue. nescaya gua akan jadi manusia yg paling bahagia kat muka bumi ini. den bertrima kasih pada saudara ajiz sebab naikkan vid lakonan tyme tuh. dah bertaun aku ngidam nak tengok balik vid tuh, tercapai gak hasrat aku. kowt aku x taw nak gelak ke nak nangis time tengok balik mende alah tuh last2 aku bantai bwat dedua sekali.huhuhuhu.pada ex-hamidianz yg kowt terbaca, aku rindu giler ngan kowang sumua. tapi sebab aku nieyh kan bz kalah menteri, ssh aku nak jumpa korang. klu jumpa pon dapat cakap sepatah dua pastuh out. message x yah cakap r, klu phone aku sek abis kedit jerk adios lah.

moga kamu sumua berjaya dalam pekerjaan kamu sumua. XOXO

tabah r korang klu baca mende alah nieyh sampai abis.kowt panjang giler aku menaip.tuh pon aku dah cut short. x laie merapu r. salahkan vid hari guru yang aku jumpa tuh~bwatkan aku rasa nak tulis pepanjang jerk.hehehehe

++chepazana++

++satu2nya manusia yang amik nurse lam batch aku++

changing career ~video maker~

2010-05-16T20:54:00.006+08:00

of a sort..

I don't really know what got into me lately but here, watch this freaking crap. and yeah, give much love to my buddy.

yeah, this was pretty much a self promo of sort.hahahaha~~ got too much time on hand. ah, i think i did another one too.gonna put it up here

if i got one more screw loose, I'm gonna do 'nother stuff juz like this.ftw.hahaha~

++chepazana++

++mr.technical give life to my net.woot++

the importance of editing

2010-05-03T02:57:00.003+08:00

Okay, I admit that I'm a lil bit photoshop illitrate. I only know how to use brush only. But lately i know how to use one more function. I couldn't help but vouch that this function is like another vital function that you cannot miss. That is the (hue/saturation) and (color/contrast). Damn, i admit i only found out that ps have it.i usually either use paint tool sai or window picture viewer to do that. Excuse me all photoshop sifoo(master) out there for not finding this function earlier.

This piece was done totally in photoshop (that include the lineart, with help from my dear tabby). The first picture was how it looks like without editing. Ps got a better range in editing, you can choose to change the color scheme, depth, brightness,contrast etc. At this particular piece, i made it darker and make it more contrast, i change the midtone to be more bluish and the shadow lean more toward magenta and yeah the background suck. "orz . and after i go my own merry way of adjusting shit, it became like the second picture, which you can see have a better depth of color in it and more sharper. The bad side of this is that your mistake is going to be obvious too.ugh.

For the gakupo fanart, I did the lineart in my sketchbook and scan the picture into my lappie. The lineart a little bit blurred at first but I adjusted it at Microsoft picture manager so that it's presentable. This particular piece was colored in paint tool sai using mouse since that bloody thing won't cooperate with my tabbie, f*cker. As you can see the color are pretty dull. I did the editing using Microsoft picture manager again since it is pretty simple to use. This all happen before I know the function of editing at Photoshop.

++chepazana++

++turn 21 today++

the first production

2010-04-30T00:19:00.002+08:00

i dunno if you can watch it or not but i'm trying to put it up here. some shit i pulled up. i think i'm gonna try making a better one using the first three drawing and try developing it from there. i have the rough storyboard ready already. just hoping i have enough will to try~~

++chepazana++

++yeah, i totally lost it.alleycats?++

ANP

2010-04-27T00:56:00.002+08:00

stand for ajaran negara purba. that's why lah ramai yang x paham.dude, sapa kata aku cakap pasal anatomy and physiology? no effing way lorh.

kamon lah~~zaman skarang dah takde orang dah panggil rahim tuh uterus.orang dedulu jerk..tuh, zaman tok kadok dulu depa pakai lah segala istilah macam aram tuh der..what, y'all x tau kah? orang dedolu kalau depa nak nak beranak depa lari jumpa mak bidan, dorang seru lagu nieyh:

"mak bidan, o mak bidan. come, I bid thee. your expertise are needed"

then, sekonyong-konyong mak bidan tuh datang ngan sireh senyonyoh celah gigi, kain batik hutang bhai kampung atas kepala. cara orang dolu2 tutup kepala.

"such loud voice you had there young chap. come, pray tell what is that so important that need my seeing immediately?"

lantas berkata orang muda, termengah-mengah beliau menjawab.

"my wife. her membrane had ruptured just moments ago. her contraction had become more insistent and the interval have become shorter too. her breath are labored, may due to insufficient of oxygen in blood or it just her systemic response for labor process."

mak bidan pon tutup mata, tangannya mengusap dagu ala2 cam orang dalam wayang gambo dok posing gaya berfikir tahap kritikal.

" ah, so the lady have her labor process initiated. using some logical theory on positive feedback involving hormone such as oxytocin, estrogen and progesteron, the pain going to be more severe by each minutes. come, young man. inside you go and help me to prepare. we got lots to do and no time to waste. don't be haste and later show me the way"

inilah perbualan orang dolu2 yang saya record 2 abad lepas. moral of the story is actually anp full of incomprehensible term and analogy that it must come from era yang kita x taw...ntah sapa ntah yang bijak sangat nak panggil ganglia tuh ganglia, veterbrae boleh kerat jadi 4 part. cell boleh main mesej guna hormone n nerve n segala haram r yang wujud lam badan.it's like their own maxis lah tuh.

minta maap.sebenarnya den tengah tensen sama test den tadik. den poie dulu lah ek.anak da nangis mintak susu.

++chepazana++

++cursing anp++

new de-stress method

2010-04-22T17:19:00.002+08:00

huhuhu, i didn't know why but lately photoshop have been my way to escape things and de-stress. that thing above is one of the thing that i fully done digitally. since i suck at background i didn't do one, lol. i still fail when it comes to color the cloth. i just don't know how. oh, btw, final had started. just finished with my first one and whoop, once i got into my room, connected my internet cable and open up mangafox, walla~~ new chap of Naruto is up...i got to scream myself out at the last page.yummy yummy evil!papa at the screen. it just like all those author at fanfic always describe him as evil!naru. sebijik.hahaha. sometimes i have my doubt that masashi secretly followed fanfics and doujin alike, just so that he won't have lost any idea in developing plots.

++chepazana++

++glad no one was around when she screamed KYAA!!++

2010-04-14T23:33:00.001+08:00

Lalalala~~it's like I put a title for something so formal, like an article or something like that. But the truth is I'm gonna bitching about people around me.

Which is better? Bitching it with other people or put it up where anyone from whichever part of the world can read? I opt for the latter

Uh, suddenly I don't know how to start it. And don't say shit like 'babe, of course you have to start from the beginning'.

My class, it's like a man eating world there. Those people in my class, they are the type that you gonna face right up once you enter the world. you guys know how it work out there. We got hierachy. Those with power and influence going to stay at the top while the more useless or socially retarded can take pleasure licking the bottom part of the ladder and being stomped. And if those hierachy had somehow got messed up, then you have to find a force that gonna stick with you, through the end.

Most people are innocent, naive and sweet when you first met them. Guys, first impression is vital. If you fail to give a good impression you can say goodbye to the top position of society ladder. From first impression too you can choose your colleague. Colleague is important if you wanna make it through safe and sound. Colleague going to support you if you have problems, and they help you with stuff and you got to be more relaxed out there. But beware, there are some rotten individuals in your colleague. They have their own piece of nasty habits and intentions. The longer you know someone, the more of their nasty habit make appearance. Then we got into the backstabbing phase, where this people say shit about that person to another person then this another person said to his or her friend which in turn said to another person and poof we got a lot of bullshiting happening at once, with the story geting more and more twisted and suddenly this person show up and make it worse.

And that's how we ruined people's standing in the society.

Sometimes people confide their secret in you. And we trust other people not to let this secret out. Then it turn out that this person dissapoint you. What can you do? Bitch about it to other people lah.

I'm rambling. I dunno what shit i pull up here. Screw society. Screw all. So long, sucker.

++chepazana++

++keeping her mouth shut after this++

Baby and me ( not a movie tittle plz)

2010-03-22T16:15:00.001+08:00

Somehow I manage to show to them that a freak like me can actually handle babies way better than those smart-ass who only knew the basics in books and totally forgotten on how to take care of their siblings (given if they have any experience in doing so).

I'm posting at post-natal ward at 6D at Sungai Buloh Hospital. That ward only admit normal newborn and mother without much complications after delivery. I manage to shut a baby that mother's away for treatment (ok, it's like he shut up once i hold him and then start to cry back and my colleague ask him from me and i give it to her and then he's still crying and she gave it to me but the baby still cry albeit only for a few seconds and then shut the hell up) and they have this disbelieve look on how i'm not awkward at holding newborns and feeding them supplementary milk. Though they throw a few comment on how brutal the way i handle em. It looks rough, yes but I actually handling 'em pretty well. My hands are still though i slouched when i held the baby and feed him and looks like a gangsta with a baby at her hand. I wanna take pic but someone told me that it is not encouragable to take pic wif babies. Plus it's not my kid so i'm cool.

And i thought i'm not going to change anyone's diaper. Yet, i'm still doing it.hahaha. newborn poop didn't smell ( or maybe i'm just plain immune to it)

Get a first-hand experience on seeing how the newborn receive their BCG. It's given Intradermal. The JM said something like if the BCG are given IM then the effect would be just like injecting plain water to the baby. Something like that.

I have to read more on breastfeeding. I have to teach the new mothers on how to do so. I even have to teach them on how to properly hold their babies. Although i have no experience on doing so ... yet. Somehow kak qhom, after reading one patient BHT state that she's felt challenged. One of the mom is actually 18 years old and the hubby is a year older than me. Wtf? Hehe. At least she got married.

Babies cutie, here (step) mama come.

P/s: i hate people who touch a newborn without a reason to do so. If you only want to coo or something like that you better read on health ed. Babies supposed to be bonded to the mom. Let the mum cuddle em. If i have a newborn myself, i wouldn't like anyone else to keep touching my baby like he/she was her kid. And watch ur hand b4 n after u touch newborn.they are prone.noktah

++chepazana++

++teringat time beliau keje di nursery dolu++

My daily routine during non-class day

2010-03-18T13:56:00.002+08:00

This is basically my routine. Totally ain't like other's peole, with exception of few people, who I know have the almost similar routine. The one thing that you might find consistent in the picture is the lappie and also the bed. I basically live on the bed. I eat, i sleep, i draw, i bitch around, i surf net, i watch stuff, i read stuff, i'm doing my assignment, i'm on phone with my girls-it's all on this bed. It's like my sanctuary, my guilty pleasure. I keep snacks under my bed, within reach so that i don't have to walk to my locker (refer pic 3) and yes, the first thing i attend to at the morning is my lappie-whether to turn it off or just continue with what i left last night.

Koko just like to sit there and be pretty. He can only be use at night when i sleep. I only walk away from my bed to bath, pray, classes, assigment-related activities,buying food or when i have enough of her. I think this is the reason why i gained 2 kilos despite that batu caves that i have to climb for classes almost everyday in a week.

And i took my brunch, dinner and whatsoever all in front of my lappie. I can't really part with him now. Take it nasi lemak ke, nasi ayam ke, nasi goreng cina ke, I'll find a way just so that i can eat in front of the lappie. lazy me.

I really love my lappie~~

++chepazana++

++my lappie is my love right now. And my bed too++

A few not so good fact about me

2010-03-16T16:53:00.002+08:00

I'm a picky eater. I don't like greens, I avoid red meats and chicken. I can't stomach sausage. I'm not keen with shells-stuff (e.g clamps). I abhor cuttlefish (thanks to the weird dream I got when I was a kid) yet i do eat that dried cuttllefish with sugar (that one yummy). I totally in love with prawns and its family. I'm the one who slay fish for food. I also adore crab (snap snap). I can't really tolerate hot and spicy food. Oh, catfish is nice. When I was small, I don't really like durian. But now, it's okay. I can only eat instant noodle that is cooked on stove, or if I have no choice, cup noodle. I give beansprout to my friend. That's a few of my eating habit.
I have a sub-aneroxic site in me. I called it "reaksi penolakan". If I reached my limit, my throat automatically do this weird thing and I feel nauseous. But I never really throw up. Can we really presume I have eating disorder if I actually hurl out everything? No, wait. I don't have any body image problem. In fact, I gain a few kilos already. Aiyah
I'm clingy. To the fact that people might actually called me a Les. But no one had really said that to my face. Most of the time, the one that I clung onto have that thrown to their face.hahaha. I hold hands like lovers do when I'm hanging out at mall with Bai. We're both touchy feely. So we do all touchy feely stuff, but we're cool. I hug people (tha female) randomly too. Some of them might jump out their nerve when I do that, but I'm cool. I don't grope you guys right? Okay, maybe I did that with certain people, but I'm just fooling around. And I act sweetly with my friend that my gay brother called me a Lesbo. Especially when I'm on the phone with laling.
I'm the type of person who sent subtle hint if I don't like something. If I didn't like someone making noise, I'm gonna be quiet for like hours, with nothing coming out my mouth to the point that when I start to speak out, my voice croacked, just like when I just wake up. But sometimes, I just glare. I'm not good at glaring, yet I think it can be passed as glaring. But the other time, I just speak right out what's the problem is. I tend to be blunt with my remark, and sometimes effing rude with it. If i have no choice, I'll be bitching about it with other people or at the blog. Sometimes, FB got the splashes too.
I hate noises when I try to sleep. Especially unnecessary noise. I can bitch about that for hours.
If I'm at my bedroom, I like my door to be shut nicely so that no sound from outside can leak in. I kinda grow some special sense with it that even when I'm sleeping, I know that someone had not shut the door properly and it woke me up. I'm weird just like that. Even with my back facing the door and I wear headphone with blasting music, I can still tell that the door is not properly shut. This door rule apply to my room at college.
I also hate unnecessary noise wake me up. People who talk loudly when answering call, scraping chair sound, extra banging sound, my siblings shouting like little shit outside, it all woke me up.
If I don't have my breakfast yet, I tend to bitch around. This goes on till someone shove a food right down my throat. This only apply at home.
If I hate someone, I hate her/him with a fervour, and if I like someone, it gonna last like forever. So, don't have me at your bedside since the consequences is not really nice. I won't lash out but I'm gonna torture you mentally. Till you lose your mind.
I'm an avid fan of BL and yaoi. My biggest fandom would be sasunaru. If people telling me that this is not normal and stuff like that, I'll probably ignore it. I don't care. Though I'm not at the ultimate level of fujoshi-ness, know this. I read, write,draw and watch every genre and rating of manga, doujin,anime,drama cd and fanfic. Hungary-san is my idol at fujoshi-ness.she's super awesome. And why the f*** I write a country name as an idol? Try google it with hetalia at the end. You'll find the answer.
I'm a sucker for any blond character with bright eyes color (i.e Naruto, England a.k.a Arthur) and if there's any black-haired chara with an obvious asian feature they're gonna be paired up in my mind and be the latest fandom I ship (exception to Joker pairing, they're both blond)
I can write long entry. I kid you not. And it's actually didn't cover 1/10 of my story.

++chepazana++
++ah, the wonder of word2007++

a useless entry ~~

2010-03-14T21:38:00.003+08:00

...consisting of my dekstop screenshot..OTL

I just make a few useless customization (but held a very significant meaning to me)
I especially fond with kyuubi as firefox icon~~
and that's an Iggy flele shell -in pirate outfit-
papa's and daddy's symbol beside each other
don't ask about the HP skin for wmp~~ I dunno what's gotten to me~~
ah, and the lotsa hetalia icon~~nyaa

and my lappie littering with stickers. I'm childish yet I'm gonna be 21 in two month~~

++chepazana++
++losing her insight on becoming adult++

the most lovable, sincere...

2010-03-13T20:23:00.002+08:00

Love letter that I have ever read~~

This is taken from Junjou Romantica series, under the arc of Junjou Egoist ( if I'm not mistaken, don't bother to find it back).It's a letter from Nowaki to Hiroki, when he's abroad.The one that Hiroki open up and read amongst other, the one that he finally get a hand on after Nowaki came back to Japan.here it goes:

Hello. Over here, it's quite...
...have you been? For now, I've gotten used to the new enviroment and I'm doing well. but recently my longing to see you has been growing more and more intense
and I can't help but laugh a bit wryly at myself.
I want to see you. I pondered why exactly I felt so discontent, and I realized that.
I don't feel any dissatisfaction about the classes at school here or the lifestyle,
it's just the simple fact that I can't see you that's making me feel insecure.
But I haven't even brought myself within sight of your back yet,
and I know that now isn't the time for complaining.
I won't be mailing this letter now, but one day I would like to show it to you proudly, with dignity
and to reach that I will keep working as hard as I can.
I have to admit something.Before I left Japan, I snuck a picture of you while you slept.
I look at it everyday. It's my sole support. I really do love your face when you sleep.
I'm sure I'd get a punch in the face if you found out, so I'll keep it a secret.
I've almost reach the bottom of the page, so I guess I'll end it for today.
I'll write to you again.
Hiro-san, I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you
I love you. I really, trully love you.
I miss you.

-kusama nowaki

ahh~~ I'd been screaming like a bloody fangirl when I read the translation of the letter every single time ( I can't keep track of how many times that I rewatch it) Of course this is not the first fictional love letter that I found from my reading but then, I have to admit that this one is totally sincere. It manipulate the simple language that were used in everyday's conversation, with none of that sappy language (e.g your eyes are beautiful like those of gems, smoldering me with every single gaze). this letter is straight forward, the content show how Nowaki really felt that time, too many things to say yet it cannot be fit in one letter.thus the random content. And the one with Hiro's sleeping face being his sole support, so cute -insert girlish fangirl screaming here- Ah. the highlight of this letter would be the many (I miss you) by the end of the letter, he can't write it enough. he keep writing the same thing. he really miss Hiro!! Nowaki you lovely bastard. I ♥ you!!

ah, I'm drowning in other people love letter~~feeling the love~~

++chepazana++
++still squealing like a fangirl she is++

I'm gonna be NR next time..and a little talk on my obsession

2010-03-11T02:21:00.004+08:00

lately laling had been very suspicious when I thank her for no many reasons. thanks to her subtle hints I got to read skip beat, an absolute superb shoujo manga.. lately my mood had been a little messed up so I have a change with my reading choice. But that doesn't mean that I'm gonna quit Yaoi and BL and stuff cause so you know, I l♥ve it. period. Wanna know something that totally ~~pathetic~~ awesome? I had been an avid fan of sasunaru since I'm 16 years old. Ah~ the old days. those remarkable one transitional week. I keep smiling for no reason at all till my dorm mate had to make excuses for my behavior. owe you one , Paien. For a ~~normal~~ good person to still stick to this weirdo till the end of school day, you're totally awesome. because for one thing Paien is like, totally normal. And, once again laling managed to make me cry with only one call, telling me the spoiler for Naruto 486. but I think last week record was far more greater, since she can make me cry with only one sms. Let us hope that I got to read this week chap and the net is not cranky cause this chapter seems to be one of those chapter that indicate changes of things (or in other words, one more significant sasunaru moment. last week is one too? wtf with the tittle? so far yet so close? so corny. And man, look at papa, what kind of greeting is that? you don't really greet your so called rival-turn-best-friend-that-got-so-wacked-up-with-revenge-and-shit-then-betray-your-own-village-just-to-get-power-from-some-mutated-trans-and-put-a-hole-right-through-your-chest with stuff like I'm glad I met you. that like, totally wrong.unless you know, you ♥ him, hahaha).

Ah, I finally got a song that I want to hear today, many thanks to Ieka.she's super awesome to have this song and save me the trouble to rummage through the net just so that I have to find the song. It's been in a single playlist today. The final product of hearing the same song (everytime we touch) and mind full of crappy shit involving papa and daddy, thus this shit appear..

suddenly both of them looks too girly and daddy looks like some chic turn to vampire with the red eyes and all. This was actually a sketch that i took with my camera phone and bluetooth-ed to my pc and after much editing and all, this is the final product. I still need a lot of training when it involve coloring and all that.all hail to me~hahaha

ah, I might going to be NR starting next sem. My pa had given his green light to me. and there's people who gonna let me stay with them. I don't really have much trouble right now, except for some fugly bitch that i totally hate. I was hoping to get rid of myself from her presence. Let us just pray that everything is okay,kay?

this is somehow a long entry.There's too much to tell you guys this time.hahaha.
oh, disclaiming naruto and sasuke since it's masashi's. I'm almost at legal age where sue is something that gonna fall under my name.

++chepazana++
++an awesome tips, if u see a blank space on between sentence, try highlight it++

imitation black: step by step on fanart

2010-03-02T00:50:00.006+08:00

the step by step by the one who have to many time on her hand

the rough sketch. i use deep blue lead so that explain the sketch color. i have to rewatch the vid for a few times till i get the atmosphere and have to pause to draw the rough sketches of their clothes

I directly inked Len's dress with o.2 pilot drawing pen. there's a few addition I made to Gakupo.

finished with inking len yeah you're pretty Len, no doubt, but you're a boy. start to ink the foremost part of Gakupo (his hand). I got pretty confused with his hair I'm messy, lol thus i re-sketch it using my 3 years old mechanical pencil.

pretty much done with basic outline and start to ink Kaito. He's pretty easy though ink consuming..

Tadaa~~ the basic artline done. Since I'm a crap at cg-ing and I'm gonna make it a full monochrome illustration, there's a few addition that have to be done

start to color the black area. I've never really abide the light-and-shadow rule, i just go my merry way to do so. It less complicated that way. trust your instinct when doing so I'm not responsible if yours turn out bad. to make it less confusing I made a tiny little 'x' on every part that need to be inked black. do anyone tell you the marker, though xylene-free have the most awful smell?? that thing contain fatal substance, i swear

the most ~~annoying~~ fun part, re-inking part. There's a few line that needed to thickened. usually i have my 0.1 and 0.4 to do that part. the difference in line will make the artwork more 3-D.

pretty much done with illustration. I added a few elements just to ensure that the artwork won't look empty. I'm a freak so I have a crazy urge to fill every single empty space

screw this...i've got too many free time on my hand and i'm ignoring my assignment. sue me, but i have to de-stress my self. excuse me...those three ~~smexy~~ hot bishies just scream "draw me!!!" with those delicious outfit..huhuhu

the final artwork can be seen here click this magic link

++chepazana++
++still running imitation black in her music list++

back to my native language

2010-02-27T15:21:00.003+08:00

it seems that i had developed quite a severe typo disease in which every single thing that i post up at fb have typo in it...i failed...so i'm gonna rant in malay till i overcome this poor excuse of illness,,

sesungguhnya dalam bahasa mesia saya dibenarkan guna bahasa rojak tahap luar cakerawala..hohoho..sudah lama saya x guna bahasa skema...satu hari saya akan bwat entry tanpa tapisan di mana saya x akan sama sekali mengedit entry tersebut dan anda lihatlah bagaimana severe penyakit typo saya lately..since lappie lama saya bwat hal, saya telah mendapat virus ala2 rheumatoid arthritis with severe spam and delayed neurotransmitter response..huhuhu, ntah ada ke idok nama penyakit gitu, wallhualam I x tau..

supposedly hari nie ada lawatan gi loji kat ampangan batu but then atas2 sebab ada manusia yg spek matanyer x cukup nak tebal lagi, ia terpaksa dibatalkan...sungguh ku x berperasaan hapa2 ketika itu...dah x de rezeki (ayat sedapkan hati) namun klu kita melihat dari sudut terangnya (direct translation, y'all) saya dapat memenuhkan folder vocaloid saya dengan megahnya...ntah tetiba gila jap ngan bishies dari vocaloid (kamui gakupo, kaito and kagamine len) those guyz deserve love, like seriously...gakupo's voice gonna get you going for hours, drop dead sexy that man is...and totally pwn-ed that shota..my shota fever didn't diminish yet so laling might found a few more shota drawing shoved at her face..

sekyus mi, i wan tu go en rit bek mai fan fik (can you translate this??hahaha)

++chepazana++
++dancing samurai?? ftw++

sirah junjungan and other randoms

2010-02-24T23:31:00.005+08:00

today is the first day that i got to see a live performing theater. the cast are from fakulty -insert name here, i don't remember- from uitm. a remake of erma fatima's sirah junjungan. the theater quite good actually, seeing that the cast are amateurs and all that. they got the props right and the mood there, though there's a few slip up. totally amazed at their abilities to act their part, the props adjustment, lighting and audio, not forgetting the chareography of the fighting scene. cry at a few scenes actually.. it's the last day of their performance here at puncak alam.i'm glad i'd buy the ticket and watch the show. lucky enough to get a quite okay seat..ah

actually i planned to hog the net for the whole day..hahahaha...i'm not in a mood to share today..i'm hogging. go fruk yourself if you're upset..uhuhuhuh

ah, and i'm gonna up my latest sketch here. a quite simple sketch. a lil bit obsessed on drawing male right now that my female character had started to show theur deformities. girls, i'm gonna draw you next time. just let me get this over..i want to draw yummy body of male...but still failed OTL

next tyme i'm gonna draw the triplet that sang imitation black..kaito, gakupo and len..huhuhuhu..visual kei bishies..ugh.wish me luck

++chepazana++
++still hogging the net.got problems?++

otai skool talk (1) : dedication and request

2010-02-24T02:25:00.003+08:00

during my school time, an organization can get quite a profit if they offer dedication and request on certain occasions like teacher's day or sport day ( hidup zuhal!!). i'd never been in the organizing team, i'm the one who sits prettily at the side and fuss over my vandalized table, trying to figure out any space that left for me to write. i never really buy one, rather hoping someone buy it for me..the funny stuff is the dedications..we've all pretty much childish and too caught up with our obsession ( anime rulez, baby!!) and the dedication go like this -->

to: naruto(??)
aku lagi berkuasa.hahaha
from: gaara(!!)

to: shep and muji
makan lolipop ni kongsi. lebih kasi aku balik
from: ajk koperasi
(from bai, obviously. she bought us three 50 cents lollipop and demand one more for herself)

there's lotsa dumb thing we wrote there.my colleague tend to wish me stop obsessing over some anime character (i'm an avid sasuke's fan back then. I converted to be naru's fan after graduating school) and claim it for themselves. sometimes i just buy the cheapest thing to dedicated to myself, just to make myself satisfied (pathetic, i noe..OTL). don't blame me meh. i'm not actually at the top of social ladder..if there's a classification to put at myself, i'm definetely been put at either koop group, the manganime fan or plain selekeh group...almost at the bottom stairs of social status. but i'm left alone with my own device so i'm pretty comfortable at my position. no pressure babe. i miss koop.uni's style of dedication is weird. there's full of bitchy-ness..hahaha

++chepazana++
++aku mahu request mahal ntok aku++

i totally doomed..oh, and a new lappie~~

2010-02-21T23:37:00.004+08:00

my pa gave me his lappie so that i can get rid of the old one (thanks aenda) and i don't really customize everything there yet..i downloaded paint tool sai only to be in despair as my tabby won't cooperate with it OTL i don't know what to say, even my ps css3 is also against me. i got a trial verse from the net and it had expired..should i install ps 7.0? very classic~~ at last i resorted back to traditional media. digital thingy have to wait for a lil bit..lately i try to do rough sketches using my color lead pencils and directly inked it with my merry band of 3 years old drawing pens.
after 2 page of random inking i drew this..the inking is still halfway done. the low quality pics is due to my webcam (bless him) and those random fingers is me *wink* *wink* those are my OCs, i think..dia(mond), spade, club and heart..yeah, lame name. i know...orz.I'm actually glad that my inking skil don't totally regressed, though i admit the random sketches i made before this were horrible.

++chepazana++
++trying hard to ink the bloody thing.it's been 2 days already++

my side of room....at college

2010-02-04T21:43:00.005+08:00

this is koko which have been given to me by kyoko (that explain the name) holding my new bag. it's a lil bit pink (?) i noe

Oyen ( given by laling) and Leman, who somehow have an asexual feeling with a pen, holding her/him (?) close..I'm telling you the latest pose is absolutely lewd..ah, i cannot post it here.and that chick up there who's been holding all the memos..i don't give him a name yet.any idea guys?

this is my side of room. (I'm not gonna show the other side..it's unspeakable) look at those cats littering my wall, and my lappie..those white on the screen is actually the broken part. and I draw those thing on the window, gonna show the detailed part later and the highlight is the temedobe poster..u see it?see?? my papa and daddy...this is the detailed part of what i draw at window. it's a rough sketch. took about 10-15 minutes...pencil first then inking right up with marker

dumping late nite sketches

2010-01-25T02:18:00.009+08:00

daddy, embrace the fact that narusasu is in rage lately...hahaha
naruto belongs to masashi

if you have thin eyebrow, you won't make the world's (worst) parent/brother..heh
arthur ILUwho's your date tonight 'arry? is it -bleep-

yeah, i noe i suck so much at cg..though i like the hair

i'm on kuroshitsuji marathon..sebby that love cat is adorable

i can't help liking kiyomine and takara..takara and his height is absolutely adorable and kiyomine with his sister complex is totally helpless..let go of ayako babe
kiyomine and takara from komahoshi belongs to abe miyuki

++chepazana++
++when i'm gonna sleep?++

did i ever tell you..

2010-01-20T00:20:00.002+08:00

that i totally loathe the bitchy old hag next to me??

ha, I know for a fact that some of you known it as a fact.come on, who in their right mind gonna be comfortable as shit with this self-conceited bitch? I, for one,not.duh. it's not hard to later find out half of the population simply annoyed by her.what with the nagging attitude. let me tell you. grandma, act like your age or you simply be hated and dissed like shitload lump in a not-so-anonymous blog. i don't care how many people gonna care for my colourful language and FUCKING STOP FIDGETING!!!!!!! it totally got on my nerve..

you got a problem with the light? well surprise, i got a problem with your existence. let us see, it's not even an hour since you come back but the moment you show your pudgy face in the room, God, how my mood changed. AND I SAY STOP MOVING, BITCH!! going to report it to your band of merry man who, come on, get along with you with the promise of beneficial something, unlikely moron.

and do you know your laugh sound like a noise pollutant in the room? it so ugly i feel like throwing a knife to your face and slit the horrendous fat-covered throat with a dull blade, oh so slowly and shout the truth to your face..remember the time I so hypocritely be nice to you just so that you gonna treat me and your friend, her uneasiness shown when she ask me about you..apparently, you're a goo magnet for a hypocrite persons to flock by..easy prey..so easy that we laugh at your idiocy.

bitch,
you're old as a hag,
thunderous voice that annoy the hell out of people,
don't you think that you should get your ego shrivell,
self-conceit, and my god, greatly delusional,
ever face the mirror?
they scream the truth to you
that your fat thigh can't compare
to those of hideous cow

omigod, i hate u so much that i don't know what else to say bout you..

FUCK YOU, BITCH!!!!!
DIE,DIE,DIE

++chepazana++
++planning to kill that bitch++

do i mess ur sidebar dat have lotsa blogs' name?

2010-01-17T21:08:00.002+08:00

hello~~
i don't know how i can open up the blog using my beloved (not!) lappie..it's a miracle, satu keajaiban, kiseki dan seerti dengannya. uh, starting to use multiple language in an entry means i'm not um...sane??

my mental have really take the toll of no rest.it make me physically tired too..i'm alone rite now inin my room, i wonder who want to be stay at the next bed??it's empty...my rummate went home.she got an appointment doing minor surgery to her teeth..i hope it hurts a lot...i really do~~hehehehe..my malicious nature started to come out...

uhuhuhu..i want new lappie..new lappie..new lappie..and i advice u all never use some horror movie rigtone cause it horrible..u cannot sleep nanti macam laling..huhuhuhu..padan mke u laling...but then i want the 1 missed call nyew skali...i maw bagi adik2 i dengar

++chepazana++
++her entry doesn't make sense anymore++

aiyoh..entry ini panjang n tunggang langgang

2010-01-09T00:06:00.003+08:00

I'm updating my blog everytime new semester started..that's totally lazy of me~~ "orz

since my lappie can't access my blog, I (not-so-) sneakily use my roommate's lappie to write this entry..I actually wanted to upload some photo but it seems her computer can't read my phone yada yada so i can't..i want to show you my part of the room..her part isn't worth showing neway..
I'm actually sorta doing my assignment anyway which due this sunday..did i mention that i have class like..seven days per week?? god, i've been bitching about it a lot at facebook that i'm sure people will go ljkhgfd everytime i write bout it but man, this is harsh..

even on weekdays i feel like dying already tackling all those effing classes..now weekends too?the cruel thing about the sunday class is that:

it's on SUNDAY (come on!!!)
watching snails having race is more fun than this
we've gotta hand in assignment for two topics every week..do you know how much hassle it is to do two topics in a week, reading those..those BOOK?!
i'm in that hag's group, paksarela..bengeng towl

and ANP410 too..what the!! though all that, this sem seems to provide interesting topics, we basically will cover gerontology (older people stuff), paedriatics, sexual disorder, maternity nursing, community,mental health ( which laling advice to pay attention reaa~~lly well so that i "can cure yourself from delusions and all" ) and mandarin as extra language ( or luggage, whatever).

art-wise (?) i'm in my metarmophosis state ( or so). i'm into rough sketching (with my red and light blue lead) and colour pencils right now..come to think of it, it's been a while since i draw fanarts (give it naruto, hetalia,etc)..have somehow start to draw almost nude picture of both sex, getting me a strange eyes from my classmate who saw it. guys, next time I'm so gonna draw xxx and xxxx doing *bleeep* (check sketchbook) aiyah, already did..luper plak..ngahahaha..

social-wise, i'm far off being propose and all that shit while everyone around me seems to find someone (and a few spare tyre oso, preparation lah kunun) Bai have someone who is serious with her..jealous T-T. I'm looking at my temedobe poster right now, wondering why in the world no one like them around me?? *sigh*

economical-wise, i'm going to explain it hetalia style. it's like america-kun didn't respond well to his cold, which then affect other country which then minimizing my saving number (totally unrelated "orz) ..arthur i miss u!! (so random LOL)

personality-wise, i'm slowly attracted to the pink colour..the collection of my pink things have subconciously increased. And my mental status health are slowly deteriotating..in a brink of developing chronic delusion, severe case of insomnia and madness

a few things that i would like to recommend to you guys

a very potter musical by starkids potter. it can be watched on utube.damn funneh.and god, voldie s totally pwn-ed...by me ( tights, voldie? *wiggle brows*)
hetalia doujins, sasunaru/hpdm fanfics, and random BL manga just to satisfy your fujoshi site with lot of yaoi-ism and 18-R \\(>/////<)//
faber castell classic color pencils. you can color gay rainbows with it..
pilot color eno pencil leads which come in various colours...rough sketches are more enjoyable with em. i got red and light blue
sms ur friends..they keep you sane
have faith, be strong and pray
pink..it despise laling so much that i subconciusly collecting it (?)
stay sane, stay sane, stay sane

++chepazana++
++can't focus, bleary eyes,waiting for laling's sms reply++

ha..ha..effing ha

2009-12-27T04:34:00.001+08:00

a pic of few words

what to do..what to do..

2009-12-25T13:02:00.002+08:00

counting the days that i have to go back to uni is absolutely depressing..how much tyme i have left??lyke a week or so..damn, next sem gonna be a hassle.orienting to absolutely new and out-of-world syllabus..and a new language to take..aiyah.even my Arabic are very much tunggang langgang rite now.

annnnd today is christmas..merry christmas to everyone who celebrate. laling celebrate it...she woke me up just to wish me one and brag about her accidental christmas present from Maxis, a free RM5 credit to her phone..( I don't get it so i sulk..here).when you talk bout christmas, there's a new year coming along and when there's new year, people talk bout resolution and shit..and i have vowed one to myself (early huh?) i vowed to save money as much as possible so that i can spend as much as possible at CF.i swear i gonna find a way to go there..i've never been in one of this manganime convention and all but f*ck it, so much awesome goodies sold there this year (according to DA-ist's journal) and i not-so-secretly wish i have new lappie..i want one...

man, i'm cranked

++chepazana++
++feeling the hols guys??++

OMG!!!i MISS you!!!

2009-12-06T08:48:00.003+08:00

bloggie-kun, I miss u so much~~

and i can finally talk to you again, after a long abstinence of doing so..
but I'm not keen on doing fancy entry today...we go the typical mode now then, shall we??

updating to the latest trivial thing of my life, nothing much 'cept my practical session started and my juniors are all some shitty stupid morons..they are to blame for that 'incident'.my hatred to that person had increased quite lovely...very lovely indeed. my artblock had started to clear off and i become particularly fond of drawing bitchy (and not so bitchy) ukes and woman figure (it's damn satisfying drawing boobs-it looks stupid and you can mess up with the size..hahaha) \\(-w-)//

seme-type bishies are hard to draw "OTL

my coloring sense seems dull ~like always~

and sayko keep updating her blog, make me jealous *pout*

just now, i realize...you can't fit three month story into one entry..

umm..melawati's pop corn is nice..not too sweet and not too bland..just feel nice

did i tell you i made a new OC? his name is keju..the real name is Kyle Edward Johannson Ulverick..i made the nickname first then i came out with the real name, thus the ridiculous name.i have to fit it in..blame me.my OC is easy to draw..i kept in mind that if you want to draw someone regularly you have to make it as easy as you can..draw a distinguish identity to him. keju didn't really have one (i can't draw his pink highlight, can i?) he got quite a penchant for feminine fashion.uh, if you look at my drawing, most of it have that kind of feminine aura emitting from 'em. Keju got a bit of pedo-streak with him..young boys and girls are appealing to him..he's one of those who had borderline morality..don't you think that people with corrupted morality is amusing..hahaha

sayko's psycho streak been inflicted to me..ugh

God knows how hard to convert nursing student to become a fangirl..i failed..they're far too strong. i need back up, but who can be one??

I don't make sense in this entry

++chepazana++
++yesterday, sayko and kyoko came..wee++

dear bloggie

2009-08-30T07:43:00.002+08:00

dear bloggie,
i'm actually in a midst of browsing through utube ogling over tom felton aka draco malfot.why? i dunno...it just an urge that i got...since this is the only time that i can actually fully utilize my pa's lappie to open up this site and write something...i might as well do that.

dear bloggie,
since last i broke my lappie screen i have been ignoring you..it's been like a few months since i last write here...i'm starting to get active in my facebook and decently active at DA.just last night my lappie had gone through a major system brokedown.i can't open up the net or else it will go..CRASH!! like that.i'm pretty sad about it..totally..the only bright side of thing is that i have actually bought an external hard disk and save almost all my precious data there...so i'm not actually unprepared for the so-called broke down..i'm anticipating it,frankly said.

dear bloggie,
life at uni had been bitch this sem..there's a lot i have to do, and my uni had gone a bit haywired due to H1N1..those week worth break that they suddenly give had make my life gone crashing down..now we all are struggling through valiant effort to keep up with new schedule...and those miniature batu cave's stairs are killing me.

cherio..

++chepazana++
++tension++

sketch dump

2009-06-15T13:17:00.003+08:00

hahahahahahahaha

++chepazana++
++frustated over her huge artblock.damn++

i really did this!!

2009-06-13T03:53:00.002+08:00

no kidding.though the artline was done by benitora53. credit goes to her. download the lineart at deviantart for coloring practise using photoshop..ah, it really felt lyke hell, dragging the mouse over the damn lineart...it's a good thing that she draw such magnificent bishies. i only practise to do the skin part and eyes is not a real prob to me. i did the hair only with base color coz i don't want it to look awkward~~i'm so not gonna do the whole pic.i might *die*.i'm proud o myself..huhu (if u look at any colored photoshop-colored artwork by me, u'll know y i'm proud o meself).ah~~~i really want some tabbie!!

++chepazana++
++having back pain,pondering whether she shall color her own artwork.using mouse,dammit++

naruto 449!!spoiler

2009-05-29T13:13:00.002+08:00

DADDY IS OUT~~

and the villagers had come back to live!!!!

and pain is dead.......

and..and....

I'M HAPPY~~

papa is being cool all the time...come to think o it..it's not that hard to fight those strong enemy..you just come to his place, brewed some tea and say "hey, let's have a talk, surely you be good people after this". if a person like pain can be swayed by few simple words, think, how can papa convince daddy??

maybe with a few head-blown xxxxx?

++chepazana++
++this is getting bad.rejoice, kakashi fan..and daddy's++

vocaloid 2

2009-05-27T12:58:00.002+08:00

the first page.....it's a lil bit messy though

i got a feeling i'm messing up the story

totally messing it up...hahaha

++chepazana++
++it's readable scan kan??++

vocaloid 1

2009-05-27T11:35:00.004+08:00

this is the character design...the real things r too much fussy to be drawn and i hav to re-scan all 3 pages of aku no musume that i drawn earlier coz the file effing big and blogger won't have it.
i only drew 3 pages coz it's too much hassle..

aku no musume (daughter of evil) music and lyric originally done by akuno-p. utube has the vid.
there at least 2 parts of the chronicle:

aku no musume sung by kagamine rin
aku no meshitsukai (servant of evil) sung by kagamine len

and len.......i'd bawled my eyes every time he sang his part...uh. other song that regarding this chronicle r

daughter of green by miku hatsune
prince of blue by kaito
daughter of vengeance by meiko

other sub part that can be regarded as story that happen after the 'daughter of evil' chronicle

regret message by kagamine rin
re_birthday by kagamine len

now, i need to re-scan all those bloody work..that might take about 24 hours? i'm a proscinator. if someone lucky and i fell up to it, they might be more than 3 pages. hopes r not to be up high.

++chepazana++
++cursing all the hassle, from researching, to drawing, and scanning++

yeah, so what?

2009-05-24T17:56:00.002+08:00

warning ahead...may contain vulgarities in content or words used

people say i'm odd
and laling say i'm obscene
even my patient think
that one of my screw is missing
aiyah uncle, u can barely speak
how dare u say i'm 'chissin'?
nasib baik u think i'm pretty
hey i'm not lying
go ask that uncle
eh, wait..he's discharged already
n i'm not masok bakul angkat sindri
so what?
i only naik lif n tekan up button sindri

people say i draw not-so-good thingy
i say i draw whatever the hell i like to see
they point out fingers and say
"hey u draw the tits too big"
and i angkat brow and say
"it can hardly pass as breast honey"
and then they go screaming
"what's this? this man hardly wear a thing!"
i frown and say to them
"yunk i'm studying anatomy.plus can't you see?"
"this man....wear at least loincloth around his hips"
haha..pervy me
so what?

people say nursing don't suit me
i admit it
it not really is
but i acquire great skills from it
the skill to deceit
and conceit
to avenge
and be tahan maki
to duduk blakang kaunter
and ngumpat the person we benci
sheesh..
so what?

people say i'm a bit lessy
hey, i'm just a lil bit clingy
only if i wrap my arms around her hips
doesn't mean i got the hot for people with tits
or something equivalent to it
don't get the wrong concept of it
would u rather have me
clinging to men that is not mahram to me
just lyke 64% people out there been doing
darn..
so what?

people are uneasy with my straight forward attitude
i speak obscenities and i kuat maki
i mencarut tak henti-henti
especially when i'm angry
or hungry
but sometimes i duduk diam-diam and perhati
aiyah that orang pon sama suke maki
cuma diorang maki dalam hati
i do the same thing occasionally
admit it..as human being, u're not a perfect thing
not at all never maki in hati
just because i say it out loud
doesn't mean i'm insolent or x sedar diri
guyz,pikir sediri
aiyah
so what?

somehow i got a feeling
len kali ade mende camnie laie

++chepazana++
++makan hati sebab tak dapat cook that damn maggi++

may entry...done nothing yet

2009-05-06T22:16:00.002+08:00

i want to write something grand...but nothing really good happen. i turned 20 (wuhuu me) with papa and daddy in front of me, looking all serious (and howt) facing the enemy and my friend, occasionally sleeping beside me. no cake whatsoeva. dumping my money on sushi already..hehe

i want to find good ideas for comics but i cannot find anything. and my younger brother keep getting sick..always demam, told him to take the medicine and NO PLAYING OUTSIDE yet dia x dengar, then sapa salah? o course the nurse wannabe! x de orang lain...hahaha

when i put my pensel on a paper, it turn out to be such a horror..i could go scream:

"wtf is this???y my leg look lyke stick..n ma hand look lyke chopstick been implanted there..n wat wif d look? i wanna sexy look...no bitchy-bitchy one..and y is arthur everywhere??where's papa??"

i really want to scream all the things mention above when i draw. and i'm in dire need of reinforcing my love to papa and daddy...my hetalia obssession have gotten bigger than i expected. i'm no longer scrambling the net for papa n daddy but for them instead. i got to watch all the MAD videos on arthur.they were all so..GREAT!! i bawled my eyes for a few of the video esp d one involving him, alfred and/or kiku. shite, i'm shipping others apart papa n daddy.
but i can't help it..

one of the pic that taken from one of d vid. it made me cry...T-T

since papa story is nearing its end, i'm picking up a new fandom tapi nanti jadi cam laling..fandom abes tetengah jalan, papa n daddy nyew story still jalan...aiyah. don't want lah.

now i start to merepek alweady...what's d point i post this up?nevamind. let me put arthur up. this is purely for my own satisfaction,k? juz bear it.

++chepazana++
++currently lost her mind, obsessing arthur too much++

a diary entry...of a kind

2009-04-26T06:47:00.003+08:00

damn my scanner juz make itself available at land of the crashed but i really want to put it up so i juz snapped a pic o it, still readable though. cannot put up the second part. that one is totally..udhue

++chepazana++
++still not sleeping though it's 649 am. shucks ++

when u're stressed out, u discover new thing

2009-04-23T22:15:00.005+08:00

apparently that was a long tittle but somehow that's the right things to be said with my new discovery. due to one depressing paper, i have an insomniac night which i spent on drawing and tadaa~ i can draw with a new style.

i was actually tempted to do a template on consistent expression but at the end i was somehow drawing a realistic character, which are not that realistic at all.

a potrait of myself that i try to draw. one glance of the potrait you can't say that u know that that was actually my potret.

i was actually trying to do draw bai but at the end the result was not that good. ignore the random sketch.

this time it's a caricature. all i can say that new things are enjoyable to be explored but all in all, the result may not be that good.

++chepazana++
++suffering the side effects of the insomniac night++

i go to sleep

2009-04-19T10:26:00.002+08:00

When I look up from my pillow
I dream you are there with me
Though you are far away
I know you'll always be near to me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

I look around me
And feel you are ever so close to me
Each tear that flows from my eye
Brings back memories of you to me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

I was wrong, I will cry
I will love you till the day I die
You were all, you alone and no one else
You were meant for me

When morning comes again
I have the loneliness you left me
Each day drags by
Until finally my time descends on me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

-sia, i go to sleep-

especially for papa n daddy.don't u think so, laling??

you guyz shall listen to sia's breathe me. the song r magnificent though the lyric don't really make much sense to me.

++chepazana++
++eating bubur jagung and ubi rebus, some kopi ensues++

my latest...erm fav past-time??

2009-04-17T13:20:00.002+08:00

i'm totally shipping ollian..absolutely..gosh, they are cute, hot,sweet and *poof* they're real person. not any fictional character. ok, they are but at least i can oggle some real thing this time. i've been doing marathon on varbotene liebe. that nanna guy only cutting excerpt from it, focusing only on olli and christian, with persons that are involved with em.and gordon are so...howt? well, he's chris bro after all.figure.

and i can say that olli is a perfect model for a boyfriend. he's caring, supportive, cool, fun to hang out with,patient and he's hot....ah, i envy that git.

while i was writing this, i watch part 89 of that series and it's been a long time since i squeal like fanatic fangirls. right after the most important match of life, in front of handfuls of audience and the clicking camera of the press, that kiss is one of the romantic thing i ever watched on a show.

and i learn one phrase from that series. ich liebe dich. ciao.

++chepazana++
++papa and daddy still are my liebe.such heiss are them++

2009-04-17T00:34:00.003+08:00

that one is a sore spot. she hit it all right. who am i without bugging her off? she keep helping me out of pinch and i never really do anything for her. i really want to do something for her but i don't know what, how and when can i do that.

really sorry for that. since she's the one that i really harbor my trust too, i confine in her. she did help...she really did, and she's done it for useless me. instead of making use out of thing that she help, i gleefully doing some fucked up thing here. sorry then.

i shall not take things lightly after this.

and try to be useful for once

at least once..

i try..
maybe i will
maybe

++chepazana++
++bugger off. need to clear my head a lil bit++

lokk....my kiddie!!!

2009-04-15T22:06:00.003+08:00

introducing my new kids....naru and cheeha. their names click something in your mind? figure. i named them after papa and daddy, of course. that sleepy-head is cheeha and that cutie beside him is naru.

that's belle.their older sis. and cheeha, in his own crib.

together they're taking a stroll down my own bloody table with oh-so-gayish pink pram. not that they complain. apparently they can't talk.

oh, look!! a -cat- guy. he's Niles, a butler that take care of all my child. and no, he's not a pedophile or anything vulgar. the reason he being half nay-ked is because i..urm..strip him myself??? and my god, doesn't my child look cute, going all clingy with a guy other than their father. shall punish them for that...i want to make a scene where Niles help Belle up but it looks lyke he kiss her and stuff. what with the close gone.( well, you see, that cloth have a very interesting design and i somehow forgot to give it back to Niles)

all the family having dinner!!! they even invited Mong jr. ( see that monkey, he's mong. my friend props.not mine.honestly, monkey??) cheeha refuse to have cake and slep in his shared pram. can you guess i use what for table and ooh, niles have his cloth back!!!
a very loving butler and caretaker of my child, despite looking like a pedophile

++chepazana+
++miss her child and niles already++

i got to be this hetalian???WTF??!

2009-03-30T01:30:00.003+08:00

this is canada.bear in mind that this is a fanart.his real name is matthew williams. god!! i don't want to be him!! let me have england.give me uk!!! *pout*

see the one in the middle?? *wiggle brows* that's my uk a.k.a arthur. oh, world domination!! he got france a.k.a francis licking his pansy-high-heeled-looking-boot *in denial with dat*, though i can say that he look like he want to lick his ***, canada kneeling by him and USA a.k.a alfred on his hand. wait up.this pic look a lil bit ahufgwcveuf or is it juz me??wateva..i'm so gonna raep him...uk-san~~*grin*

p/s that arthur pic is also fanart.please find the ori one by urself. hetalia owned by hidekaz himaruya

++chepazana++
++thinking that uk will make a nice uke.woot++

and so i lie

2009-02-12T12:00:00.003+08:00

i want to put tis up at deviant but then suddenly aku pikir...wat semak jerk, bkn canggih pon aku kaler mende alah nieyh.laiepon artline die aku dah campak kat situ...so korang tatap r tetiap lksn yg aku kaler pastuh aku x nak campak kat DA kat cnie.slagi aku rasa aku x pandai kaler slagi tuh lah aku x kan campak lksn berkaler kay c2.aku tensi.kira aku tipoo r time aku kater aku x up lksn kat cnie....

++chepazana++
++maafkan aku++